Okufanele ukwenze uma ushadile kodwa unesizungu

Ngisho noma ungewedwa, ngezinye izikhathi ungazizwa unesizungu. Ngisho noma ushadile, ungase uzizwe unesizungu.

Isizungu isimo sengqondo sokuzicabangela lapho umuntu ezizwa ehlukanisiwe futhi ehlukanisiwe nabanye, nakuba efisa ukuba nokuxhumana okwengeziwe nomphakathi. Kunalokho, okubalulekile yindlela esizizwa sixhumene ngayo nabanye. Uma uke wazizwa unesizungu phakathi kwesixuku, uzoqonda ukuthi ukuba phakathi kwabantu akukwenzi uzizwe unesizungu.

Ngisho noma uchitha isikhathi nomngane wakho womshado, akunakwenzeka ukusho ukuthi ngeke uzizwe unesizungu ngisho nalapho ukhona. Le mizwa ingashiya othandekayo wakho ezizwa engelutho, engafunwa, futhi engaqondakali.

Ngokocwaningo lwango-2018 lwe-AARP, akuvamile ukuba nesizungu ngisho noma ushadile. Cishe u-33% wabantu abashadile abangaphezu kweminyaka engama-45 bathi banesizungu.

Kulesi sihloko, sizochaza ukuthi kungani abanye abantu abashadile benesizungu, nokuthi yini ongayenza ukuze unqobe imizwa yesizungu emshadweni wakho.

Izimpawu zokuba nesizungu yize ushadile

Ukuhlala nabanye akusiqedi isizungu. Ngenxa yokuthi sizizwa sixhumene nesishade nabo, asizizwa sisodwa noma sisodwa ebudlelwaneni bethu. Izimpawu ongase ube nesizungu emshadweni wakho zihlanganisa:

Ngizizwa nginesizungu ngisho nginawe. Ngibona sengathi kunegebe engingazi ukuthi ngenzenjani.

Awukhulumi. Mhlawumbe unomuzwa wokuthi oshade naye akanasithakazelo kulokho okushoyo. Noma mhlawumbe awuzizwa uthanda ukwabelana ngemininingwane yosuku lwakho nomlingani wakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana kubangela imizwa yokuhlukaniswa nokudumala.

Ukubheka izizathu zokugwema umlingani wakho. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise ukusebenza sekwephuzile, ukuthola okuthile okungakugcina umatasatasa kude nozakwenu, noma ukumane upheqa ezinkundleni zokuxhumana futhi ugweme ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho.
Yenza ucansi oluncane noma ungabi nalo. Ubuhlobo bakho abugcini nje ngokuntula ukusondelana ngokomzwelo, futhi buyantula ukusondelana ngokomzimba.

Zonke lezi zici zinomthelela ekuzizweni unesizungu emshadweni. Kwesinye isikhathi kuthinteka umuntu oyedwa kuphela, kodwa kaningi bobabili abalingani bangazizwa behlukanisiwe futhi benqanyuliwe kumlingani wabo.

Ukuba wedwa vs. ukuba nesizungu

Khumbula ukuthi isizungu sihlukile kunesizungu. Ngisho noma ngingedwa, angizizwa nginesizungu. Bangase futhi bazizwe behlukanisiwe noma belahliwe ngokomzwelo ngisho nalapho bechitha isikhathi nabashade nabo. Nakuba ukuzinika isikhathi kukuhle empilweni yakho yengqondo, kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi yini ongayenza uma unesizungu.

Kungani abantu benesizungu ngisho beshadile?

Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi imizwa yesizungu iye yanda eminyakeni yamuva. Ucwaningo lwango-2018 lwePew Research Center luthole ukuthi abantu ababenganelisekile ngezimpilo zabo zasekhaya kungenzeka ukuthi babike ukuthi banesizungu.

Ziningi izinto ezingadala isizungu emshadweni.

umsebenzi nomndeni . Esinye sezizathu ezivame kakhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile ibe nomuzwa wokuthi iyaqhelelana kungenxa yengcindezi yasekhaya noma emsebenzini. Nobabili nimatasa nixoxa ngokunakekela izingane, umsebenzi, nezinye izibopho, futhi kungase kuzwakale njengemikhumbi emibili yasebusuku. Ngenxa yokuthi imibhangqwana ichitha isikhathi esincane ndawonye, ​​ngokuvamile ingase ibe nomuzwa wokuthi ibanga phakathi kwabo nomlingani wabo liyancipha.

umcimbi ocindezelayo Izehlakalo ezinzima izithandani ezibhekana nazo ndawonye zingadala ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni. Izenzakalo ezicindezelayo nezibuhlungu zingase zicindezele ngisho nasebudlelwaneni obuqine kakhulu, kodwa zingaba nzima nakakhulu lapho zikhulisa noma zidalula ubuthakathaka bomshado wenu. Ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi kwenziwa kube nzima nakakhulu uma unomuzwa wokuthi oshade naye akakusekeli noma akanazwelo. Kulezi zimo, ngisho nangemva kokuba umcimbi ocindezelayo usuxazululiwe, ungase uzizwe ulahliwe futhi uwedwa.

amathemba angenangqondo . Imizwa yakho yesizungu ingase ihlobene kakhulu nezinye izidingo ongazaneliswa kunomngane wakho womshado. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ubuhlobo bangaphandle komshado bungahambi kahle, umuntu angase alindele ukuthi umngane womshado ahlangabezane nazo zonke izidingo zakhe zomphakathi. Kuyaqondakala ukuzizwa ukhungathekile ngoba ubheke koshade naye ukuba ahlangabezane nezidingo abangenakukwazi ukulindela ukuhlangabezana nazo.

yokuba sengozini ukuntula. Ukungakhonondi kumlingani wakho nakho kungaholela emizweni yokuhlukaniswa. Lokhu kusho ukuthi labo abasondelene nawe kakhulu abayazi imininingwane yomuntu siqu nejulile yempilo yakho. Uma ungakhulumi ngemizwa yakho ejulile, njengamaphupho akho nokwesaba, kuba nzima kakhulu ukuzizwa uqondwa futhi uxhumeke kumlingani wakho.

Ukuqhathanisa nezinkundla zokuxhumana Ukuqhathanisa okungenangqondo ebudlelwaneni obubonwa ezinkundleni zokuxhumana nakho kungaba nomthelela emizweni yesizungu. Ucwaningo lwango-2017 luphinde lwabika ukuthi abantu abachitha isikhathi esiningi ezingosini zokuxhumana bathola imizwa eminingi yesizungu.

Lo muzwa okhulayo wokuba nesizungu kungenzeka ubhebhethekiswe ubhubhane lwe-COVID-19. Eminyakeni emibili edlule, umbuthano wabantu abaningi uye wancipha, wabeka ingcindezi enkulu emibhangqwaneni eminingi.

Yize ngaphambili, besinobunye ubudlelwano ukuze sifeze izidingo zethu zomphakathi, ubhubhane lusho ukuthi isikhathi esiningi kufanele sithembele kwabashade nabo ukuze sifeze zonke lezi zindima. Ngakho-ke uma umlingani wakho engakwazi ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke lezi zimfuno, ungase uzizwe sengathi awukutholi ukwesekwa okudingayo.

Isizungu emshadweni singadalwa yizinto eziningi ezahlukene. Umndeni, umsebenzi, ukucindezeleka, njll. ngokuvamile kuhileleke, kodwa izici zangaphakathi ezifana nalokho umuntu akulindele okungenangqondo nokwesaba ubuthakathaka nakho kungenza ubuhlobo nomuntu oshade naye bube nzima.

Imiphumela yokuba nesizungu ngisho noma ushadile

Isizungu sinzima ngokwengqondo. Yinto futhi abantu abaningi abangakhulumi ngayo. Ngeshwa, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi le mizwa inomthelela omubi empilweni yethu engokomzimba nengqondo. Ezinye zezindlela isizungu esikuthinta ngazo zifaka:

• Ukwenyuka kotshwala nezidakamizwa
• Ingozi eyengeziwe yokucindezeleka
• ukuncipha kokuzivikela komzimba
• injabulo isiyonke ephansi
• Ingozi ephezulu yesifo senhliziyo nemithambo yegazi

Ukuzizwa unesizungu kungase kuthinte inhlalakahle yakho nangezinye izindlela. Ukuzizwa unesizungu emshadweni wakho kungase kwenze kube nzima ngawe ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuthuthukisa impilo yakho, njengokuzivocavoca nokudla ukudla okunempilo. Kungase futhi kuthinte ukulala kwakho, kubangele ukucindezeleka nemicabango engemihle, futhi kulimaze impilo yakho.

Okufanele ukwenze uma ushadile kodwa unesizungu

Uma uzizwa unesizungu futhi ukhishwa inyumbazane emshadweni wakho, kunezinto ongazenza ukuze uzizwe uxhumeke kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukuthola imbangela yenkinga, xoxa ngayo nomngane wakho womshado, futhi nichithe isikhathi esengeziwe esiseqophelweni eliphezulu ndawonye.

khuluma nowakwakho

Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho mayelana nendlela ozizwa ngayo futhi ubone ukuthi ubhekene nento efanayo yini. Uma nobabili nizizwa ninesizungu, kunezinto eningazenza ndawonye ukuze nakhe ukuxhumana okujulile.

Uma lomzwangedwa ungohlangothi olulodwa, kungase kube nzima ukubhekana nawo. Uma usazizwa unesizungu naphezu kokusekelwa ngokomzwelo komlingani wakho, kungase kube khona okunye ngaphakathi kuwe okudinga ukulungiswa.

gwema ukusolwa

Ukuze unqobe isizungu, kubalulekile ukuba ungabeki umthwalo wemfanelo. Ngenxa yalokho, umlingani wakho angase azizwe ehlaselwa futhi azivikele.

Esikhundleni sokwakha ingxoxo kulokho oshade naye angakwenzi (“Awukaze ungibuze ngosuku lwami!”), gxila ekukhulumeni ngemizwa nezidingo zakho (“Awukaze ungibuze ngosuku lwami!”). ngizizwa nginesizungu futhi kungaba usizo uma ungezwa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​nemizwa yami.''

chitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye

Esinye isinyathelo esibalulekile ukuchitha isikhathi esihle nomngane wakho womshado. Ungase ungakwazi ukugxila empilweni yakho yothando ngoba umatasa nempilo yakho yansuku zonke, njengomndeni nomsebenzi5. Zamani ukuthola izindlela zokuqinisa isibopho senu njengombhangqwana, njengokubekela eceleni isikhathi sezinsuku, ukulala ngesikhathi esifanayo, nokuxoxa ngokuphila kwenu kwansuku zonke.

Kuyasebenza futhi ukukhawulela ukusebenzisa kwakho izinkundla zokuxhumana. Njengoba lolu cwaningo lubonisa, ukusetshenziswa kakhulu kwezinkundla zokuxhumana kungaba nomthelela ekwandeni kwemizwa yokuhlukaniswa nesizungu. Kungase futhi kube nomthelela ekubeni nokulindela okungenangqondo mayelana nobudlelwano bakho. Ukubheka amaphuzu avelele ahlungiwe ezimpilweni zabanye abantu kanye nobudlelwano kungakwenza uzizwe ungemuhle kangako ngempilo yakho.

Ukunciphisa ukusetshenziswa kwakho kwenkundla yezokuxhumana kunezinye izinzuzo, njengokukuvumela ukuthi uchithe isikhathi esiningi nomlingani wakho. Uma uzithola uphenya okuphakelayo kwakho kwezindaba esikhundleni sokukhuluma nophathina wakho, cabanga ukubeka phansi ifoni yakho esikhundleni ukuze udale isikhathi nesikhala sokugxila komunye nomunye.

funa usizo lochwepheshe

Uma isizungu sisakubangela izinkinga, ungase uthande ukucabangela ukukhuluma nomelaphi ukuze uthole ukuthi kungani unesizungu nakuba ushadile. Ukwelashwa kwabashadile kusebenza kahle kakhulu futhi kungabhekana nezindaba ezihlobene nokwethembana, ukusondelana, ukuzwelana, nokuxhumana. Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi ujulise ukuxhumana kwakho, uthuthukise amakhono okuxhumana aqinile, futhi ubhekane nezinkinga ezingase zibambe umshado wakho.

Lesi isibuyekezo. Uma unesizungu emshadweni wakho, ungathatha izinyathelo zokuxazulula inkinga. Ukukhuluma nomngane wakho womshado kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esibalulekile. Futhi, ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye kungakusiza uzizwe uxhumeke kakhulu. Ukwelashwa kwabashadile kungasiza futhi ukuthuthukisa izici eziningi zobudlelwane benu.

Ekuphetheni

Khumbula ukuthi yonke imishado ihlukile. Futhi bonke ubudlelwano bunezimo zabo zemvelo kanye nokugeleza, futhi kungase kube nezikhathi phakathi kwabo lapho uzizwa uxhumekile kancane.

Uma uzizwa unesizungu emshadweni wakho, kubalulekile ukuthi ucabange ukuthi yini ewubangelayo futhi uthathe izinyathelo. Ngokwazi iqiniso ngenkinga manje, ungakha ubuhlobo obunempilo.