Kuyini ukuluthwa uthando?

Kuyini ukuluthwa uthando?

Ukulutheka kothando yisimo lapho umuntu eba nokunamathela okungenampilo nokuphoqelekile kumlingani wothando.

Ukungena othandweni kuwumuzwa omuhle wonke umuntu okufanele awuzwe. Ukuba nomuntu omthandayo nothandwa kuyinto cishe wonke umuntu oyifisayo. Kodwa ukuba sothandweni kungazibonakalisa ngezindlela ezingenampilo. Ngenxa yalokho, abanye abantu baziphatha ngendlela eyinqaba nengenangqondo, ngezinye izikhathi bazilimaza bona nabathandekayo babo.

Abantu abanemilutha yothando bakuthola kunzima ukwakha nokugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo. Nakuba kuvame ukubonakala ebudlelwaneni bothando, ukuluthwa uthando kungenzeka nakwezinye izinhlobo zobudlelwano. Lokhu kungenzeka ebudlelwaneni nabangane, izingane, abazali, noma abanye abantu.

Abantu abanalolu hlobo lokulutheka bavame ukuba nezindinganiso ezingezona ezingokoqobo kanye nokulindela othandweni. Uma kungahlangatshezwana nayo, kuzomane kubhebhethekise isimo.

Kuvame ukuphikiswana ngokuthi ukuluthwa uthando akufanele kuthiwe yisifo sengqondo. Nokho, abanye bakholelwa ukuthi abantu abanalesi sifo empeleni baba nezimpawu ezithena amandla.

Bavame ukuba nokunamathela okungenampilo kumlingani wabo futhi bazame ukubalawula. Njengezinye izidakamizwa, abantu abanezidakamizwa zothando bangase babonise ukuziphatha kanye nokunxusa abangakwazi ukulawula. Kodwa-ke, ngokwelashwa okufanele nokunakekelwa, ungafunda kabusha ukuziphatha okungenampilo nesimo sengqondo mayelana nothando futhi ufunde ukuthi ungakha kanjani ukuxhumana okunempilo, okunothando.

Izimpawu zokuluthwa uthando

Ukulutheka kothando kubukeka kuhluke kancane kuye ngomuntu. Uphawu oluvame kakhulu lokuluthwa uthando wukuthatheka okungenampilo ngomunye umuntu, futhi umuntu uziphatha ngendlela exakile, njengokufona njalo noma ukucanasa.

Ukulutha kothando kuvame ukuzibonakalisa ngalezi zindlela ezilandelayo:

• Ukuzizwa ulahlekile futhi wehluliwe lapho umlingani wakho engekho
• Ukuzizwa uncike ngokweqile kumlingani wakho
• Ukubeka ubudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho ngaphezu kwabo bonke ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu empilweni yakho, kwesinye isikhathi ungabunaki ngokuphelele obunye ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu nomndeni nabangane.
• Ngemva kokunqatshelwa kothando lwakhe, uyacindezeleka futhi anamathele esithandwa sakhe.
• Bahlale befuna ubudlelwano bothando, ngisho noma bengacabangi ukuthi akubalungele.
• Ngihlale ngidangele lapho ngingenaye umuntu engithandana naye noma ngingekho ebudlelwaneni.
• Ubunzima bokushiya ubudlelwano obungenampilo noma obunobuthi.
• Ukwenza izinqumo ezimbi ngokusekelwe emizweni onayo ngomlingani wakho noma isithandwa sakho (isb. ukuyeka umsebenzi wakho, ukunqamula ubuhlobo nomndeni wakho).
• Ucabanga ngomlingani wakho noma isithandwa sakho kangangokuthi kuphazamisa impilo yakho yansuku zonke.

Ziningi nezinye izimpawu zokuluthwa uthando okungenzeka angizange ngizibalule ngenhla. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izimpawu ziyahlukahluka kakhulu futhi umuntu ngamunye uzwakalisa imizwa ngendlela ehlukile. Indlela umuntu akhetha ngayo ukuveza imizwa yakhe ibonakala ezimpawini zakhe.

Izimpawu zokuluthwa uthando nazo ziyahlukahluka ngobukhulu. Ezinye izimpawu zingase zibonakale zingenabungozi, njengokushaya ucingo njalo, kodwa ezinye ziyingozi kakhulu, njengokulandela umuntu othandana naye noma ukukhawulela oxhumana naye.

Ungakubona kanjani ukulutheka kothando

Ukulutheka kothando akusona isifo sengqondo esiqashelwa yi-Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders.

Kube nenkulumompikiswano emibuthanweni yezokwelapha neyomphakathi mayelana nokuthi lesi simo kufanele yini sichazwe njengesifo sengqondo sangempela. Lokhu kwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuhlonza kunezinye izifo zengqondo ezisunguliwe.

Uma wena noma othile omaziyo enomlutha wothando, khuluma nodokotela wakho ngakho. Bangase bakubhekise kudokotela wengqondo ongakwazi ukwenza uchungechunge lwezivivinyo futhi akubuze uchungechunge lwemibuzo ukuze anqume ukuthi ukulutheka kothando kuyindlela evumelekile yokucabanga ngobunzima bakho.

Izizathu zokuluthwa uthando

Kudingeka ucwaningo olwengeziwe ukuze uqonde ukulutheka kothando futhi uhlonze kalula izimbangela kanye nezimbangela zako. Ucwaningo olukhona luveza ukuthi izici ezahlukahlukene, njengokuhlukumezeka nofuzo, zingadala ukukhula kokuluthwa uthando.

Ucwaningo luphinde lwaveza ukuthi kukhona ukuxhumana phakathi kwenjabulo oyitholayo uma usothandweni kanye nobumnandi abantu abaluthwe yizidakamizwa ezifana ne-cocaine notshwala abangaba nabo.

Abacwaningi bathola ukufana endleleni abantu abasothandweni nalabo abayimilutha yezidakamizwa abaziphatha ngayo. Womabili la maqembu angaba nokuncika ngokomzwelo, ukukhungatheka, isimo sengqondo esiphansi, ukuthatheka, ukucindezelwa, nokulahlekelwa ukuzithiba. Uma usothandweni, ubuchopho bakho bukhipha izithunywa zamakhemikhali ezizizwa kahle njenge-dopamine. Amaphethini afanayo ayenzeka ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa nasekuluthekeni.

Ezinye izimbangela ezaziwa kakhulu zokuluthwa uthando zihlanganisa:

• Ukubhekana nezinkinga ezishiywe esikhathini esidlule
• ukuzenyeza
• Uke wahlukumezeka ngokomzwelo noma ngokocansi esikhathini esedlule.
• Uke wabhekana nobudlelwano obubuhlungu?
• Ukunqoba ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni
• Ukwelashwa kokuluthwa uthando

Ukwelapha ukuluthwa uthando kunzima. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi akusona isifo sengqondo esiqashelwa emhlabeni wonke, futhi ukuxilongwa nokwelashwa ngokuvamile kunqunywa udokotela noma umelaphi. Ukulutheka kothando kungasondelwa njenganoma yimuphi omunye umlutha. Kudingeka ucwaningo olwengeziwe ukuze kutholwe ukuthi i-psychotherapy isebenza kanjani ekwelapheni ukuluthwa uthando.

Ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT) kuvame ukusetshenziselwa ukwelapha ukulutheka. Ku-CBT, umelaphi usebenza nawe ukuze embule amaphethini okucabanga ayinkinga aholela ekuziphatheni okuluthayo.

Ngenxa yokuthi ukuluthwa uthando akubonwa njengesifo sengqondo, okwamanje ayikho imithi evamile esetshenziselwa ukukwelapha. Kodwa-ke, uma isimo sakho sihambisana nesinye isifo, njengokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka, udokotela wakho angase akunikeze imithi yokwelapha izimpawu ze-co-occurring disorder.

Ucwaningo luphinde lubonise ukuthi kwezinye izimo zokuluthwa uthando, odokotela bangase banikeze ama-antidepressants kanye nama-mood stabilizers ukuze babhekane nezimpawu zokuthatheka kanye nokuthatheka.

Ungabhekana kanjani nokuluthwa uthando

Enye yezinto ezinzima kakhulu ngokubhekana nomlutha wothando ukuvuma ukuthi unenkinga.

Abantu abaningi abanezidakamizwa zothando abakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ukuveza imizwa ejulile ngomlingani wabo noma imbangi yothando kuyinkinga.

Uma ubona izimpawu zokuluthwa uthando, khuluma nomhlinzeki wakho wezempilo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Ngokwelashwa okufanele nokunakekelwa, ungaqala ukuthola izindlela ezinempilo zokubonisa uthando lwakho.

Uma usuphenduke umlutha wothando, nanka amathiphu angakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nesifo sakho ngenkathi ufuna usizo.

• Funda ukuba wedwa. Uma ungenaye umuntu othandana naye ngesikhathi uxilonga, kungase kube umqondo omuhle ukuthatha isikhathi sokuchitha isikhathi uwedwa. Thola izizathu nezimbangela zokulutheka kwakho, wenze inqubekelaphambili ethile ekwelashweni, bese uqala ubudlelwano obusha.
• Qaphela amaphethini aphindayo. Abantu abanemilutha yothando ngokuvamile babonisa amaphethini okuziphatha afanayo kubo bonke abalingani bothando. Bheka emuva ebudlelwaneni bakho obudlule futhi ubone ukuthi akhona yini amaphethini afanayo.
• Zibekele imali Ukuzinika isikhathi sokuzikhulisa kuyindlela enhle yokuzithanda wena. Uma umlutha wothando, uvame ukungazinaki wena nezifiso zakho.
• Thembela kubangani nomndeni. Kungasiza ukwabelana ngomshikashika wakho nalesi sifo nalabo abakuthandayo nabakunakekelayo.
• Joyina iqembu lokusekela. Into eqinisa idolo ngokuphila nanoma yikuphi ukugula ukwazi ukuthi awuwedwa nokuthi kukhona nabanye ababhekene nezinkinga ezifanayo. Uma ujoyina iqembu lokusekela, uhlangana nabantu abanjalo. Ungakwazi futhi ukukhuluma nabantu abaye banqoba lesi simo.

Ekuphetheni

Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungaba umlutha wothando, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo bangakusiza ufunde ukuba nobudlelwano obunempilo nawe kanye nabanye.