Ungakubekezelela kanjani ukukopela/ukungathembeki kwesithandwa sakho, nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze lapho ungakwazi ukubekezelela

``Ngithole ukuthi umyeni wami wayekopela, kufanele ngikubekezelele kuze kube nini?'' Uma ngibheka izingosi zezeluleko zothando namabhodi ezincwajana ezizingelayo zothando, ngivame ukubona imibuzo efana nalena. Abanye abantu bagcina isimo sabo samanje ngenxa yokuthi abazi ukuthi benzeni uma behlangabezana nokukopela noma ukungathembeki, okukhulunywa ngakho emphakathini. Ngaphezu kwalokho, nakuba bengathanda ukuvimba isithandwa sabo ekukopeleni, abantu abaningi bakhetha ukukubekezelela ukuze bajabulele ukuphila okuzinzile nokunethezekile.

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi kuthatha isikhathi esiningi nomzamo ukuxazulula kahle ukukopela/ukungathembeki kwesithandwa sakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, emhlabeni kuthiwa ``ukukopela kungokwemvelo'' futhi ``ukukhohlisa akulapheki,'' ngakho ngisho noma kutholakala ukuthi umuntu othandana naye uyakopela, umuntu okhashiwe angase aqhubeke nokukopela, ecabanga ukuthi `` ngiwinile. 'yeka noma ngikusho.'' Ungase ungabaze ukuphenya futhi uzibambe. Nokho, kungase kungabi lula kangako ngomuntu okhohlisiwe ukubekezelela. Ngakho-ke, lesi sihloko sizokwethula amathiphu okuthi ungabekezelela kanjani ukukopela/ukungathembeki kwesithandwa sakho.

Okufanele ukwenze uma ufuna ukubekezelela ukukopela/ukungathembeki kwesithandwa sakho

Okokuqala, zama ukuziqhelelanisa nesithandwa sakho.

Ngisho noma uzama ukubekezelela, ungase ungakwazi ukubekezelela uma ubona izimpawu zokuthi isithandwa sakho sithandana nomlingani okhohlisayo. Uma ubona isithandwa sakho sithintana nothile nge-LINE noma i-imeyili, awukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa ucabange, ``Ingabe uzophinde uxhumane nozakwenu okukopela?'' futhi kuba buhlungu engqondweni. Uma isithandwa sakho singekho eduze kwakho, uzokhathazeka ngokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uthandana nothile wobulili obuhlukile, futhi ngeke ukwazi ukulala ngisho noma uthanda. Uma ubona ukuthi uqonyiwe, ukucabanga ngesithandwa sakho kungakugcwalisa ukukhathazeka.

Ngaleso sikhathi, uma kungenzeka, kungcono ukubheka isizathu esithile futhi uzinike isikhathi sokupholisa ukuze uzolise ingqondo yakho. Unganciphisa imiphumela emibi yokukopela ngokushiya isithandwa sakho singathembekile, unciphise isikhathi enichitha ngaso nobabili, futhi ushintshe isimo sakho sengqondo ukuze wenze ubuhlobo bakho bamanje buhlale isikhathi eside.

2. Ziphazamise ngokuzilibazisa, umsebenzi, uhambo, njll.

Enye indlela yokugwema ukukopela ukugxila kwezinye izinto ezithakazelisayo ngaphandle kokucabanga ngobuhlobo bakho. Isibonelo, uma umatasa nsuku zonke futhi ugxile emsebenzini wakho, uyokwazi ukudambisa ubuhlungu nesizungu, futhi uzobonakala njengomuntu okhuthele owushisekela umsebenzi futhi oyohlonishwa yilabo abaseduze nawe.

Ungasebenzisa indaba yesithandwa sakho njengethuba lokubheka izinto zokuzilibazisa ngaphandle kothando, noma ukuqala ukufunda okuzoba usizo ezintweni ozilibazisa ngazo noma emsebenzini. Uma unomsebenzi wokuzilibazisa ozifela ngawo, akumangalisi ukuthi ugxile kulokho kunokugxila endabeni yesithandwa sakho.

Uma umsebenzi nokuzilibazisa akwanele, ungasebenzisa ukuhamba njengendlela yokuguqula isimo sakho sengqondo futhi ujabulele ukuthenga, ezemidlalo, njll ngenkathi usendleleni yokucebisa impilo yakho.

3. Thola umuntu ongakhuluma naye mayelana nokukopela kubantu abaseduze kwakho.

Abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi, ``Njengoba othile engikhohlisile, kungani ungangikhohlisi nami?'' Nokho, uma uqala ukuzikhohlisa kuyilapho ubekezelela ukukopela kwesithandwa sakho, kuyomane kwenze ubuhlobo bakho bube bubi nakakhulu. Ukuzithiba kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu uma kuziwa ekubekezeleni ukukopela/ukungathembeki kwesithandwa sakho. Ungalahli ithemba wenze into engenakwenzeka ngenxa yokukhashelwa isithandwa sakho.

Uma ukhathazeke ngempela ngokuqhathwa, kungani ungakhulumi nothile? Ukuba nomuntu oseduze ongabonisana naye mayelana nokukopela kungakusiza uhlole isimo samanje, futhi kukunike namathiphu okuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma othile ekukopela. Bangase futhi baphendule imibuzo efana nokuthi ``Kufanele ngizibambe kanjani?'' kanye nokuthi ``Kufanele ngizibambe ngezinga elingakanani?'' Kodwa-ke, ukuze ugweme ukudalula iqiniso lokuthi isithandwa sakho sikhohlisa abanye, kufanele ukhethe umuntu ofuna ukukhuluma naye mayelana nokukopela ngokucophelela.

Akwanele yini ukuba nesineke nje? Akukuhle ukubekezelela ukukopela/ukungathembeki kwesithandwa sakho ngokweqile.
Abantu abaningi bakhetha “ukukubekezelela,” kodwa kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukukhetha “ukubekezelela” ngeke kuyixazulule inkinga. Isizathu ukuthi noma ungabekezelela kodwa ngeke kushintshe ukuthi isithandwa sakho sikuqhathe. Ngakho-ke, ungabekezeleli ukukopela kakhulu ukuze ugcine isimo sikhona. Noma usufuna ukwenza sengathi ishende lakho alikaze lenzeke futhi uqhubeke uphila njengejwayelo, uzoqala uzizwe ukhathele ngokomqondo futhi ngeke usakwazi ukujabulela usuku nosuku njengakudala. Futhi akukho okungavala lobo buhlungu. Uma nje ukubekezelela, wena noma isithandwa sakho ngeke ukwazi ukuphuma ku-moss yokukopela.

Akukhona lokho kuphela, kodwa uma ubekezelela isikhashana futhi uhlole isimo sokukopela futhi uhlole ukuziphatha kwesithandwa sakho, kuyoba usizo ngandlela-thile ophenyweni lokukopela esikhathini esizayo nokuqoqa ubufakazi bokukopela, kodwa uma ubekezela ukuziphatha kokukopela. kuze kudlule umkhawulo, kuzoba yinkinga enkulu.Kuyacindezela futhi kungaholela enkingeni enkulu. Nakuba abantu bevame ukuthi “ukubekezela kuwubuhle,” akufanele sikushaye indiva “ukubekezela” okubi.

Inhlekelele ingase yenzeke uma ubekezelela ukukopela/ukungathembeki ngokweqile.

1. Usuku nosuku lubuhlungu futhi ngesaba ukuthi ngizoqhuma.

Uma ubekezelele ukukopela, maningi amathuba okuthi lowo oqhathwayo abhekane nobunzima nsuku zonke. Uma ungazixazululi izinkinga zakho, ukucindezeleka kwakho kuzokhula, futhi ngeke ukwazi ukukhulula ukucindezeleka kwakho ngaphandle uma umlingani wakho eyeka ukukukhohlisa. Nokho, uma uqhubeka nokuziphushela umkhawulo, ungase ugule ngokomzimba futhi intukuthelo yakho ingase iqhume, okuholela ezigamekweni ezinobudlova. Ngisho noma uzama ukugcina izinto zinjengoba zinjalo futhi ubekezelele, ngelinye ilanga ungase ulahlekelwe ukuzilawula futhi uqale ukuziphindiselela nobabili enikukhohlisile.

2. Shiya isithandwa sakho futhi ukukopela umlingani wedwa

Uzakwethu oqhathwe angase abekezelele ukujola kwesikhashana, ecabanga, ``Kuwumdlalo nje, ngakho ngiyazibuza ukuthi uma umlingani wami ekugcineni uzongidela futhi abuye azokuba ngakimi.'' Nokho, ukuzibamba kungakhuthaza ngempela ukukopela, njengoba kwenza isithandwa sakho sicabange ukuthi ngeke silokhu sigxekwa ngokukopela. Ngenxa yokuthi umuntu othandana naye akajeziswa ngendlela efanele ngokukopela, noma ngabe isithandwa sesikhathele yindaba yamanje, singase siqale sifune umlingani omusha agcine eseqomile. Khona-ke ukubekezela kwakho kuyoba yize.

3. Ukusabalalisa imiphumela emibi yokukopela nokuphinga

``Kuyihlazo ukukhohliswa, futhi abantu abambalwa abazi ngakho, kungcono, akunjalo?'' Abanye abantu bangase babe nalo mqondo futhi bafihle ukukopela kwabo ngaphandle kokukhomba ukuthi isithandwa sabo siyakopela. Ngiyakuqonda ukuthi kungani ungafuni ukwazi ngendaba yakho ngoba awufuni ukwazisa abantu eduze kwakho, kodwa angiqiniseki ukuthi ngeke uthole uma ningaxoxi. it nomlingani wakho.

Kungenzeka ukuthi abazali bomlingani wakho noma osebenza nabo sebeyitholile indaba. Kodwa-ke, noma ngabe omunye umuntu uthola mayelana nokukopela kwesithandwa sakho, akuwena okhohliswayo, ngakho-ke abanalo "igunya" lokukhomba ukuziphatha kokukopela kwesithandwa sakho futhi bakuyeke ngokuphelele. Uma kunjalo, uma ungakwazi ukuzibamba futhi ubhekane nokukhashelwa kwesithandwa sakho, kuzoba nomthelela omubi empilweni yakho yesikhathi esizayo.

Uma ungakwazi ukuzibamba, akumele uzibambe.

Ukuqoqwa kobufakazi bokukopela

Qala ukuqoqa ubufakazi bokukopela noma ngabe uyabekezela. Abantu ababili abake bakhohlisana abakwazi ukuvuma kalula ukuthi bake bakhohlisana. Isibonelo, umlingani wakho wokukopela angase abuyele kuwe ngezingxabano ezihlukahlukene. Ukuze kuxazululwe kahle icala lokukopela, kuyadingeka ukuthi kulungiswe ubufakazi bokukopela kusenesikhathi obungafakazela ukuthi laba bantu bayathandana. Uma usebenzisa izindlela zophenyo zokukopela njengokuhlola I-LINE yesithandwa sakho noma ukulandelela ukukopela kwesithandwa sakho usebenzisa i-GPS, ungaqoqa ulwazi oluningi lokukopela futhi uthole inzuzo ezingxoxweni ezimayelana nokukopela.

khuluma ngokukopela

Uma usunobufakazi bokukopela futhi usulungile, qala ukuphikisana ngaphandle kokubamba. Lisebenzise ithuba lokuxoxisana, usole isithandwa sakho, umenze azizwe enecala, futhi umenze azisole ngendaba yakhe. Batshele ngokutholakala kodaba, ubuhlungu kanye nobukhulu besikhathi, futhi ubatshele isifiso sakho sokuyeka ukuqomisana futhi ungaphinde uhlangane nomlingani okhohlisayo futhi.

Lesi yisikhathi lapho zonke izinto ezithinta imizwa obuzibambile ziphuma ekhanda lakho, ngakho ungase ulahlekelwe ukuphola kwakho phakathi nengxoxo futhi ungakwazi ukuqhubeka kahle. Ukuze ulisebenzise ngokugcwele leli thuba, khuluma nesithandwa sakho ngokuzola ngangokunokwenzeka.

Kungenzeka ukucela isinxephezelo

Uma elinye iqembu lithandana, ungafaka unswinyo kuzakwethu okhohlisayo ngokufaka isimangalo sokunxeshezelwa. Lokhu kungashiwo ukuthi kuyisinxephezelo sobuhlungu bokukohliswa, kodwa ukuze ufune i-alimony yokungathembeki, kuyadingeka ukufakazela isenzo sokungathembeki futhi uqoqe ubufakazi obuphelele bokungathembeki, futhi kuyadingeka ukwenza isahlulelo inani le-alipony. Sicela uqaphele.

Uma izinto zingahambi kahle, isehlukaniso noma ukwehlukana kuyizinketho.

Kunokuba ubekezelele ubuhlungu bokuqhathwa yisithandwa sakho futhi ubekezelele ukukhashelwa umlingani wakho, kungcono ukugwema ubuhlungu obuzayo ngokukhetha ukuhlukana noma ukuhlukanisa manje. Abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi uma uveza ukuhlukana/isehlukaniso, konke sekuphelile, kodwa leli thuba lingakusiza ukuba unqobe ubuhlungu bokukopela. Ngemva kokuqeda ubuhlobo bakho obudlule, hlose ukuba nesithandwa esingeke sikukhohlise, senze izinhlelo ezintsha, futhi siqale impilo entsha.