Izimpawu eziyi-17 zokuthi usemshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni be-narcissistic

Izimpawu ze-narcissism zivame ukuba nzima ukuzibona ezigabeni zokuqala zobudlelwane, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lezi zimpawu zibonakala kakhulu. Lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi ukhombe uma ngabe uzakwenu ekhombisa noma yiziphi izimpawu ze-narcissism.

Iyini i-narcissism?

I-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) ichaza i-narcissism ngokuthi "iphethini yokukhohlisa okugcwele ubukhulu, isidingo esiqhubekayo sokudunyiswa, nokuntuleka kozwela." Okungenani ezinhlanu zalezi zindlela kufanele kuhlangatshezwane nazo.

• umuzwa omkhulu wokuzibona ubalulekile
• Ukucabanga ngamaphupho empumelelo engapheli, amandla, ukukhalipha, ubuhle, nothando olufanele.
• Ukucabanga ukuthi ukhethekile futhi uhlukile, nokuthi kufanele ukwazi kuphela ukuqonda noma ukuzihlanganisa nabanye abantu abakhethekile noma abantu abasezingeni eliphezulu.
• isidingo sokudunyiswa ngokweqile
• umuzwa wamalungelo
• izenzo zokuxhaphaza abanye
• ukungabi nozwelo
• Ukuba nomona ngabanye noma ukukholelwa ukuthi abanye banomona ngawe.
• Ukubonisa ukuzidla noma ukuzidla noma isimo sengqondo.

Izimpawu zokuthi usemshadweni ongenangqondo noma ubudlelwano

Ake sibheke ezinye zezindlela zokuziphatha ezingaboniswa ngumuntu one-narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Ukuziphatha okuningi okubalwe ngezansi kungase kube inkomba ye-narcissistic personality disorder, kodwa uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo kuphela ongenza ukuxilonga okunembile.

ungazizwa uxhumekile

Umlingani wakho uzokhuluma nawe ngesikhathi esivumelana naye. Kodwa empeleni, abezwa ngezinhlelo zakho zekusasa noma ukuthi singasebenzisana kanjani ukwakha impilo oyifunayo.

Bahlala beziqhayisa ngokwabo nangempumelelo yabo, abavamile ukubonisa isithakazelo kulokho okwenzekayo empilweni yakho noma babuze imibuzo. Injabulo yabo ivela ezintweni zangaphandle, njengodumo nemali emsebenzini. Ngiyazibuza ukuthi bayakwazi yini ukuzwa imizwa yothando kanye nokuxhumana ngokomzwelo.

uzizwe ulawulwa

Umlingani wakho cishe uzokwenza izinsongo ezicashile kulo lonke ubuhlobo. Ngisho noma amazwi akho engaqondile, cishe unomuzwa wokuthi uma ungenzi okuthile noma usabela esicelweni sothile, kuyokwenzeka into embi. Ngezinye izikhathi kulula ukwenza lokho omunye umuntu akufunayo, ngisho noma ungavumelani nakho. Lena indlela yokulawula nokukhohlisa umlingani wakho ukuze athole okufunayo.

Abantu abakulobu budlelwano bavame ukukhohlwa ukuthi impilo yabo yayinjani ngaphambi kokuba baphathwe kabi.

Awuzizwa Kahle Ngokwanele

Unemizwa yokungafaneleki, ongakufanelekeli lokho okufezile ekuphileni kwakho. Umaqondana wakho unomkhuba wokukubukela phansi noma akhulume kabi ngalokho okwenzayo. Ingabe awukwazi ukwenza izinto obuzijabulela ngenxa yokuthi isikhathi awunaso?

Mhlawumbe uhlezi ukhathele futhi ukuthola kunzima ukuvuka ekuseni. Ngaqala ukufihlela umndeni wami nabangane izinto futhi ngaba namahloni ngokuphila kwami. Ukuqamba amanga ukuze ufihle ukuthi umlingani wakho wenzani noma cha.

uhlale ukhanyiswe

Uma umuntu elokhu ephika lokho okwaziyo ukuthi kuyiqiniso, ukuhlambalaza. Lokhu kuvamile ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo noma obulawulayo, futhi kuyisu elivamile lama-narcissists.

Ngokwesibonelo, oshade naye angase aphawule ngezenzakalo ozaziyo, njengokuthi, ``Awukhumbuli kahle.'' Bazokudumaza bakholelwe ukuthi izinto ezithile azikaze zenzeke, noma ukuthi benza okuthile ngenxa yento oyenzile noma oyisho kwasekuqaleni.

Umlingani wakho angase aqambe amanga ngezenzo zakho futhi azame ukusonta iqiniso ukuze livumelane nenguqulo yakhe kunokuba kwenzeke ngempela. Ungase uqale ukungabaza futhi uzizwe sengathi uyahlanya.

Uma lokhu kwenzeka phambi komndeni wakho noma phambi kwabangane bakho, bangase bacabange ukuthi nguwe oyinkinga, hhayi umlingani wakho. Ngisho nabalingani ababonakala bekhanga kakhulu ebusweni bangaba nesikhathi esinzima ukuqaphela ukuthi kwenzekani ngemuva kweminyango evaliwe.

gwema ingxoxo

Ngisho noma uzama ukuzola futhi ungacasulwa ukuziphatha komunye umuntu, ungase uthole ukuthi yonke ingxoxo onayo nomunye umuntu iphenduka ingxabano. Ama-Narcissists ahlala ezama ukucindezela izinkinobho zakho futhi akwenze usabele. Bathola ukwaneliseka ngokulawula imizwelo yabanye.

Ngokuvamile kulula ukugwema ingxoxo ngokuphelele kunokuhlala uhileleka ezimpini zengqondo.

Ngizizwa nginomthwalo wemfanelo kukho konke

AmaNarcissists akholelwa njalo ukuthi yonke into iphutha lomunye umuntu, noma ngabe kukhona okungalungile. Ngeke kube khona ukuxolisa ku-narcissist. Ama-Narcissists ababoni abanye njengabalingana, ngakho-ke kunengqondo ukuthi ukuxolisa kungaba ngaphandle kombuzo.

Umlingani wakho othanda i-narcissistic cishe ngeke aziphendulele ngezenzo zakhe futhi uzohlala ekusola. Uma kukhona okungahambi kahle, iphutha lakho, ngisho noma omunye umuntu enephutha.

Ubona sengathi yonke into embi eyenzekayo empilweni yabo iyiphutha lakho ngandlela thize futhi awukwazi ukwenza lutho ngakho.

uhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda

Ingabe uzizwa sengathi uhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda ngoba awazi ukuthi isithandwa sakho sizoqhuma nini noma sizoqhuma nini?

Isibonelo esijwayelekile yinto efana nale. Konke kubonakala kuhamba kahle, kodwa uma kwenzeka into encane, uyathukuthela. Ngisho nento encane njengomuntu othola isikweletu ngenkathi umlingani wakhe ezwa sengathi akanakiwe kungabangela ukuthi umuntu odla izindwani avuvukele. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi i-narcissistic rage.

Ungase uzizwe ulahlekile, wenze zonke izinqumo ukuze ujabulise umlingani wakho we-narcissistic.

ubona ngentelezi

Uma ubheka phezulu, umlingani wakho uyathandeka, uyazethemba, futhi unekhono. Nokho, kubonakala ngaleyo ndlela kuphela ngenxa yokuthi banekhono lokufihla ubunjalo babo bangempela emphakathini. Uthi zonke izinto ezinhle futhi wonke umuntu uyamthanda, kodwa ngokushesha nje lapho bobabili bebodwa, konke kuyashintsha. Ngenxa yalokho, ngokuzumayo bazithola sebehlangana nomuntu ohluke ngokuphelele kulokho abonakala eyikho.

uzizwe ugxekwa njalo

Umlingani wakho ukugxeka ngokweqile ukubukeka kwakho. Bangase bakhulume ngesisindo sakho, izingubo zokugqoka, noma izinwele ozikhethayo. Akwenze inhlekisa noma akubeke phansi. Lokhu kungenzeka ngemuva kwakho noma ebusweni bakho.

bahlekise abanye. Ikakhulukazi, bahlekisa ngabantu abacabanga ukuthi baphansi kunabo (njengabantu abangakhangi noma abacebile). Ngokujwayelekile ukugxeka wonke umuntu.

izidingo zakho azinakwa

Umlingani wakho ucabanga ngezidingo zakhe kuphela nokuthi izinto zimthinta kanjani, hhayi wena noma omunye umuntu (okuhlanganisa nezingane zakho uma unomndeni). Bazokwenza kuphela okuhle kubo, hhayi wena noma ubuhlobo bakho.

Isibonelo, kungaba umlingani wakho.

• Ngifuna ukwenza ucansi uma umlingani wami efuna, kodwa hhayi ngesikhathi ngithanda.
• lindela ukuhlanza ngemva kwalokho
• zithathele udumo
• Ngiyacasuka lapho abanye beqakathekisa umkhaya wami ngaphezu kowami.
• Ukunikeza impatho ekhethekile ezinganeni ezithile kunezinye ukuze wenze ingane eyodwa ibukeke kangcono.

Umndeni wakho ukuxwayisile (noma ungazi)

Umndeni wami ungitshele ukuthi awuyithandi indlela umlingani wami engiphatha ngayo. Noma umlingani wakho uqamba amanga ngawe ukuze umndeni wakho ungaboni ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle. Kunoma ikuphi, lapho kucatshangelwa ubuhlobo bomkhaya, abalingani baba ingxabano.

uyakopela

Ama-Narcissists avame ukuba ngompetha bokukopela futhi kungenzeka ukuthi bayakukopela. Bathandeka kakhulu futhi bayakwazi ukuzuza izinhliziyo zabantu. Ungase ungabaze ukuthi omunye umuntu uhlale eqotho ngokudlala ngothando. Kungenzeka ukuthi usekukhohlise izikhathi eziningi, ngakho ngeke ukwazi ukumvimba ukuthi aphinde akwenze.

uzizwe ungathandwa

Lapho siqala ukuhlangana, ngazizwa sengathi ungumuntu omangalisayo kakhulu emhlabeni. Kodwa njengoba isikhathi sihamba nezinkinga ziphakama, umlingani wakho waqala ukukunqamula futhi engakunaki. Leli yifulegi elibomvu abaziqambela amanga kwasekuqaleni.

Ekuqaleni, kungenzeka ukuthi uthole amabhomu othando ukuze uhlale uxhumekile, kodwa uma usushadile, lawo mabhomu othando aphelile.

uthola impatho yokuthula

Umlingani wakho usebenzisa indlela yokuthula njengendlela yokudlala amandla ukuze akulawule. Bazogodla uthando futhi bakushaya indiva ubukhona bakho baze bazizwe befuna ukuba bahle futhi. Ngokuvamile kuba kuphela uma kuzuzisa wena ngandlela thize (njengokuthola into oyifunayo).

Ungase ucabange ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuziphatha luvamile noma "olulindelekile" kubantu abashadile. Kodwa empeleni, ukuthula akuyona ingxenye yobuhlobo obunempilo, obunothando, nenhlonipho.

basenkingeni yezimali

Uma kukhona into eyodwa narcissists abanekhono, kungcono ukusizakala abashade nabo ngokwezimali. Uphathina wakho kungenzeka angakwazi ukuqhubeka nokusebenza kanti wena ukhokha zonke izindleko, noma umsebenzi kaphathina wakho ungangenisa imali eningi kodwa angakubonisi, akukho.

Uma kunjalo, umlingani wakho cishe uchitha yonke imali yakhe yokugcina futhi akananhloso yokwabelana nawe manje noma esikhathini esizayo.

Angikwazi ukuthembela kumlingani wami

Uma benza isithembiso, usuke ungazi noma bazosigcina yini. AmaNarcissists adume ngokwenza izethembiso abuye azephule uma kuvumelana nawo. Anginaye umaqondana engithembele kuye, futhi kumele ngizenzele yonke into.

Ngeke bashintshe yize ubacelile.

Isizathu sokuthi i-narcissist ingashintshi yingoba kusho ukuvuma okuthile okungalungile ngaphakathi kwabo, futhi i-narcissist ngeke ikuvume lokho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abanye abantu bayavuma ngokuziqhenya ukuthi bangama-narcisists kodwa bathi abanye yinkinga.

Uma umlingani wakho engazami ukushintsha indlela aziphatha ngayo, kungenzeka ukuthi uthandana ne-narcissist.

Okufanele ukwenze uma uthandana no-narcissist

Ukuba sebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu neyesikhathi eside empilweni yakho yengqondo. Uma umlingani wakho ehlukumeza ngokomzwelo futhi engeke ashintshe ukuziphatha kwakhe, yisikhathi sokububheka kabusha ubuhlobo. Futhi uma unquma ukuthatha umhlalaphansi, qiniseka ukuthi unohlelo lokusekela olukhona ngaphambili. Isibonelo, lokhu kungaba umngane, ilungu lomndeni, noma umelaphi.

Uma uqhubeka nobudlelwano nomuntu onama-narcissist.

• Thola ukwelashwa noma ukwesekwa kwangaphandle
• Ukudala nokugcina imingcele
• Gcina amarekhodi ezingxoxo nezehlakalo ukuze uvimbele ukukhanya kwegesi.
• Zola futhi uqinise
• Emsebenzini ngimelana nenhlebo engenza ngifune ukuphumela obala.
• Funda okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka mayelana nama-narcissists ukuze ukwazi ukubona amaqhinga abo nokukhohlisa.

Ekuphetheni

Noma ubani angakwazi ukuzicabangela yena yedwa, kodwa ama-narcissists awakwazi ukusebenza nganoma iyiphi enye indlela. Khumbula: Ulwazi lungamandla. Funda konke ongakwenza mayelana ne-narcissism ukuze ukwazi ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani. Uma ucabangela ukuthi ukuthandana nodokotela wezilwane kungalimaza ukuzethemba kwakho, ukuzinakekela kubalulekile. Cabangela ukwelashwa ukuze uvikele impilo yakho yengqondo.