Izizathu zokuthi kungani uthando lungasebenzi

Ziningi izizathu zokuthi kungani uthando lungahlali isikhathi eside. Izizathu ezinkulu zokuthi kungani ubudlelwano bungaphumeleli ukulahlekelwa ukwethembana, ukukhulumisana okubi, ukuntula inhlonipho, izinto ezibalulekile ezibalulekile, kanye nokusondelana okuphansi.

Kulesi sihloko, sizochaza ukuthi kungani ngamunye angaba yimbangela yokuqeda ubuhlobo.

ukulahlekelwa ukwethenjwa

Omunye wemizwelo eyisisekelo edingekayo ebuhlotsheni obuhle babantu umuzwa wokulondeka. Uma ungenakho ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo noma unomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho akathembekile, ungase ulahlekelwe ukwethenjwa.

Uma umlingani wakho engacacile noma kunzima ukumkhomba, lokho kuyimbangela yokukhathazeka. Ubudlelwano babantu obakhelwe ekungathembani abuzinzile.

Umqambimanga

Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi uthola ukuthi umlingani wakho ubeqamba amanga. Amanga angaba nemiphumela enamandla. Ingabe kwakungamanga amhlophe, noma kwakungamanga ukuze kuvikelwe umqambimanga? Amanga amhlophe avame ukuba mancane, kodwa amanga angempela angaba nemiphumela efinyelela kude.

zonke izifiso

Uma unomlingani ophethe ngokweqile, zibuze, "Ingabe lokhu kubonakala kunempilo?" Ingabe umlingani wakho ukuhlukanisa nabangane noma uhlale ekuhlola? ”

Lokhu akulona uphawu lokuthi kukhona umuntu okuthembayo. Zitshele ukuthi lobu akubona ubudlelwano obunempilo.

Umona

Umhawu omncane unempilo futhi ukhombisa ukuthi anithathelani kalula. Kodwa uma othile ephethe ngokweqile futhi ebonisa izimpawu zomona we-pathological, lezi amafulegi abomvu.

Ukuphinga

Uma usola ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakopela, ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi isisekelo salokho enakhele ndawonye sibhidlikile. Kungenzeka ngingasakwazi ukumethemba lo muntu. Ingabe yibo ocabanga ukuthi bayikho?

Ubuhlobo obugxile ekungathembeni futhi obugcwele amanga, umona, nokungathembeki cishe ngeke buhlale.

ukuntuleka kokuxhumana

Uma ukhuluma kuphela ngamashejuli ezingane zakho noma ngohlu lwakho lwemisebenzi yangempelasonto, ukuxhumana kwakho sekuyinto eyenziwayo. Ukuxhumana okunempilo kudinga izihloko ezahlukahlukene.

Ngisho noma nikhulumisana kahle, kulungile ukungavumelani. Ukungqubuzana akunakugwenywa, kodwa kunezindlela zokuyilawula ngamakhono okuxhumana aphumelelayo. Ukuxhumana kufanele kugcwale uzwela, ukuqonda, nokulalela ngenkuthalo. Ngeshwa, imibhangqwana eminingi ikuthola kunzima ukukhulumisana ngale ndlela.

Kungase kubonakale kuphambene, kodwa imibhangqwana eqhosha ngokuthi ayikaze ilwe akuyona into enhle. Ivamise ukukhombisa zombili izinhlangothi ezigwema ukungqubuzana. Bakhetha ukunganyakazi izinto noma baveze izinkinga ezinzima.

Empeleni kungcono ukuthi imibhangqwana ithole izindlela zokuzwakalisa nokuxoxa ngokukhungatheka kwayo kunokungaphikisani nhlobo.

Ocwaningweni lwakamuva, ososayensi bahlaziye izicelo zemibhangqwana/izindlela zokuhoxa ekukhulumisaneni. Lesi sitayela sibonisa ukuthi lapho umlingani oyedwa enza izimfuno noma egaxa ngokuthile, omunye ugwema ukungqubuzana futhi ahlehle.

Lolu cwaningo luthole ukuthi njengoba ubunzima bezezimali bukhula, lesi sitayela sokufuna/ukuhoxa siyanda. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kwakubuye kwahlotshaniswa nokwaneliseka okuphansi komshado. Nokho, umphumela othakazelisayo wawuwukuthi imibhangqwana enemizwa yokubonga nokubonga iyayinqoba le nkinga yokukhulumisana.

ukuntula inhlonipho

Imibhangqwana ivame ukungaboni ngaso linye ezindabeni ezihlukahlukene, futhi izindaba zezimali ngokuvamile ziwumsuka wokungezwani. Mhlawumbe oyedwa ungosebenzisa imali kanti omunye ungonga. Inkinga ayikho eqinisweni lokuthi ukusetshenziswa kwemali nokonga kuyaphikiswa kakhulu, kodwa endleleni okuxoxwa ngayo ngemali.

Ngakho-ke uma nixabene ngemali noma enye into, kubalulekile ukubheka ukuthi olunye uhlangothi luphatha kanjani olunye. Ingabe umlingani wakho ngumuntu omhloniphayo? Ingabe uke uhlekiswe? Noma ingabe umlingani wakho uzokubeka phansi, akhiphe amehlo, futhi akuphathe ngokudelela ngokuphelele? Lezi yizimpawu zokuthi anihloniphani.

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo nochwepheshe bokuzinza komshado namathuba edivosi babheka ukudelelwa njengento ecekela phansi ubuhlobo. Ukwedelela kuthiwa nakho kuyimbangela enkulu yesehlukaniso.

Uma umlingani wakho ekwenza inhlekisa, ekuphatha kabi, noma ekuzonda, lokho kuwuphawu lokunengeka. Lokhu kuntuleka komusa nenhlonipho kungabangela ukuhlukana okungenakulungiseka ebudlelwaneni.

Umehluko ezintweni eziza kuqala

Uma uthola ukuthi umlingani wakho wamanje noma wesikhathi eside unezifiso zothando ezihluke kakhulu nezinjongo zempilo kunawe, ubudlelwano bakho bungase buqale ukucasuka.

imigomo ehlukene yobudlelwano

Ungase ube nezinto eziza kuqala ezihlukene uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni. Isibonelo, ngemva kwenyanga nithandana, umuntu osanda kushonelwa angahle afune ukubhukha nawe uhambo olujabulisayo futhi angaxhumeki. Kodwa ungase ulungele ukwethula uthando lwakho emndenini wakho phakathi namaholide azayo futhi uqale endleleni ebaluleke kakhulu.

imigomo yokuphila ehlukene

Mhlawumbe nobabili ninemigomo ehlukene yesikhathi eside yesikhathi esizayo. Uma ungasiniki isikhathi sokukhuluma, ungase uphatheke kabi ukwazi ukuthi amaphupho nezinjongo zomlingani wakho zihlukile kwezakho.

Isibonelo, ungase ufune ukuphishekela umsebenzi wokuvelela edolobheni iminyaka emihlanu ezayo. Umlingani wakho, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ufuna ukuzinza futhi aqale umndeni ezindaweni ezingaphansi kwedolobha ngonyaka ozayo.

Uma uhlehla noma ungakwazi ukujabulela ukulandela indlela eyodwa, ubudlelwano bakho buzokonakala.

Ukuba nemigomo ehlukene akusho ukuthi ubuhlobo benu buzophela. Ngokwesibonelo, imigomo yakho ingaba nomthelela emigomweni yabanye.

Ucwaningo lwakamuva olushicilelwe kuyi-Journals of Gerontology luphenye ukuthembela komunye nomunye kwemigomo yomshado. Ucwaningo olwenziwa emibhangqwaneni engu-450 lwathola ukuthi abalingani besikhathi eside bayathonya omunye nomunye uma kuziwa emigomweni yabo. Lokhu kungase kube indlela yokwenza ubudlelwano buqine kakhulu.

Nokho, unganciki ekuthonyeni omunye umuntu njengesixazululo. Uma omunye wenu efuna izingane kanti omunye engafuni nhlobo, noma uma omunye wenu efuna ukuphila njenge-nomad yedijithali omunye efuna ukuba nezingane kanti omunye ufuna ukuba nezingane baze baguge nezinwele zabo. iba mpunga. Uma ufuna ukuba endaweni, lokhu kungase kungabi okwakho. Kungase kube nokuthile okufanele kakhulu kuwe.

Akwanele ucansi nokusondelana

I-Oxytocin ngezinye izikhathi ibizwa ngokuthi "i-hormone yothando" noma "i-ejenti ye-cuddle." Lapho sanga, sithinta, siqabula, noma sibonisa uthando kwabanye, imizimba yethu ikhipha ihomoni i-oxytocin. Ukwenyuka kwe-oxytocin nakho kuhlotshaniswa namazinga aphansi okucindezeleka kanye nemizwa yenhlalakahle.

Ubudlelwano buvame ukuwohloka lapho izithandani zingathintani kancane futhi lokhu kuntuleka kokuthintwa kubhebhezelwa yizindlela zokuxhumana ezingasondelene kakhulu.

Ubudlelwano ngezinye izikhathi bungaphazamiseka uma umlingani wakho engaluthandi ucansi. Ukungahambisani nezifiso zobulili, kanye nezinye izici, kungalimaza ubuhlobo futhi ekugcineni kube nengxenye ekuhlukaneni.

Ucansi lubaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Ngokocwaningo lwakamuva, umuntu omdala uya ocansini kanye ngesonto. Ziningi izinzuzo zokuya ocansini olwengeziwe. Lokhu kuhlanganisa izinzuzo ezingokomzwelo, ezingokwengqondo, nezomzimba.

Yini eyenza ubudlelwano buhlale?

Uprofesa ohlanganyele naye uhlaziye izifundo ezingaphezu kwe-1,100 zothando. Ngokwenza kanjalo, sihlonze amasu amahle azoba negalelo ekusimamiseni ubudlelwano.

Wathola into eyodwa evimbela imibhangqwana ukuthi ingahlukana futhi iwuphawu lobudlelwano obuhle: abalingani abazisa abalingani babo kwasekuqaleni. Kulobu budlelwano, abalingani babhekana nokungqubuzana ngempumelelo futhi banakekele izinto ezizuzisa umlingani wabo. Ebudlelwaneni obungagculisi, okuphambene kuyiqiniso.

Ekuphetheni

Ziningi izizathu zokuthi kungani ubudlelwano bungahlali isikhathi eside. Kodwa izimbangela eziyinhloko zokuwohloka kwawo yizindaba zokwethembana, ukuxhumana, inhlonipho, izinto eziza kuqala, nokusondelana. Kunjalo, abukho ubudlelwano obungenasici, kodwa uma uzwa sengathi uzwa ubuhlungu obungaphezu kobuhle, kungase kube yisikhathi sokuhlola kabusha ubudlelwano bakho. Uma wena nomlingani wakho nifuna ukwenza ubudlelwano benu busebenze, cabanga ukuthintana nomelaphi wabashadile ukuze uthole ukwesekwa okwengeziwe.