Ukukopela kungalapheka! Indlela yokwelapha ukuziphatha kokukopela kwesithandwa sakho

Abantu bavame ukuthi ukukopela kuyisifo esingelapheki, kodwa abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi lokhu kungamanga. Kunabantu abaningi okwamanje abalwa nemikhuba yokukopela yomlingani wabo, ngakho ukukopela ngokuqinisekile akuyona inkinga engaxazululwa kalula.

Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokuthi uzame ukwelapha isithandwa sakho sokukopela, kufanele uqale uzilungiselele ukuthi ``ukukopela akulula ukwelapheka.'' Isizathu siwukuthi isithandwa asifuni ukuphinde senze ishende, kodwa angase azizwe edangele ngenxa yokuthi usezwile ubumnandi balo. Noma ngabe ufisa kangakanani ukwelapha umkhuba wokukopela komuntu omthandayo, ``isifo'' esingelapheki kalula ngisho nomkhohlisi uqobo lwakhe, ngakho-ke umuntu oqhathwe naye kuyadingeka impela yenza umzamo omkhulu wokwelapha lesi sifo. .

Futhi, qaphela ukuthi ``abantu abaningi abake bakopela baphinde bakopela, futhi isibalo esincane kuphela sabantu esilulamayo emkhubeni wokukopela.'' Indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nokukopela ukuvimbela ukukopela kokuqala futhi uvimbele ukukopela esikhathini esizayo. Uma kungenzeka, zama ukuvimbela isithandwa sakho ekukopeleni, futhi uzame ukumvimbela ekukopeleni ngisho nakanye, futhi noma ngabe ukukhohlisile, zama ukukuvimbela ukuthi kungenzeki futhi.

Kodwa-ke, noma ngabe isithandwa sakho singathembeki, ungadikibali futhi uzame ukwelapha ukungathembeki komlingani wakho ngangokunokwenzeka. Ngicela ukholwe ukuthi uthando lwenu nobabili angeke lunqotshwe ukukopela. Ukukusiza, sizokwethula izimbangela zokukopela kanye nezindlela ezithile okufanele uzame.

izimbangela zokukopela

Ukungazizwa unecala ngokwanele mayelana nokukopela

Abantu abakopela ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokuvamile abanawo umqondo ovamile wokuthi akufanele bakhohlise noma ukuthi ukukopela kuyisono. Noma, abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi ukukopela kubi, kodwa ngenxa yokuthi isithandwa sabo sibaxolela ngaso leso sikhathi, bacabanga ukuthi akuyona into enkulu. Uma ungaziphathi kahle lapho othile ekukopela, isithandwa sakho singase singazizwa sinecala ngokuziphatha kwaso kokukopela noma singacabangi ukuthi lokhu akwenzayo ukukopela. Ekugcineni, isithandwa sakho sizobamba ukuthambekela kwakho kokukopela futhi siqale ukukopela kuwe.

Awulungele uthando noma umshado

Njengoba umbhangqwana uthuthuka usuka ekuphileni okukodwa uye ekuphileni kothando/umshado nabantu ababili, isithandwa singase sibe nomuzwa wokuthi silahlekelwe inkululeko, futhi singase sifune ukubuyela ekuphileni okungashadile lapho sasikhululekile khona ukuze siphile ukuphila kwaso. Ngakho-ke, uma bezizwa beboshelwe isithandwa sabo, bangase bakhohlise izikhathi eziningi, basebenzise njengendlela yokunciphisa ukucindezeleka futhi bazikhulule emaketangeni esithandwa sabo.

Ubudlelwano bami nomuntu engimthandayo sebuzinzile.

Uma abantu ababili bejabulela uthando olujulile ekuqaleni, kodwa imizwa yabo iyancipha kancane kancane futhi ubuhlobo babo buzinzile, lokhu kungase futhi kube iphuzu lapho isithandwa siqala ukukopela ngokuphindaphindiwe. Kungenzeka ukuthi isithandwa sakho asikuthandi ngokwanele futhi sincamela "ukushisa kothando" uma sinawe. Uma ubudlelwano benu buzinzile futhi senilutholile uthando nisazoba nemizwa ngawe, kodwa isithandwa sakho siyozwa ukushisa kothando ngokuphindaphindiwe ngoba naso sifuna uthando olujabulisayo. , lukhona ithuba eliphezulu lokuthi uzokopela ngokuphindaphindiwe.

Ukukopela sekuwumkhuba

Abantu abangazange bakopele ababuqondi ubumnandi bokukopela, ngakho abakopele bodwa. Kodwa-ke, uma uke wakhohliswa ngaphambili, uke wezwa ubuhle bokukopela, ngakho-ke noma uphatheke kabi, kulula ukunqotshwa isilingo futhi uqhubeke nokukopela. Ekugcineni, ukukopela kuba umkhuba futhi ngisho noma ufuna, kuyoba nzima ukukuqeda.

Indlela yokwelapha ukukopela

Izixazululo ziyahlukahluka kuye ngokuthi imbangela yokungathembeki. Qonda ukuthi kungani isithandwa sakho sikopela, bese uthatha izinyathelo ezifanele zokuselapha.

yenza umuntu azizwe enecala ngokukopela

Abantu abangazizwa benecala ngokukopela akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi kungenzeka bakopele, kodwa ngisho noma bethola ukuthi bayakopela, bazothethelela ukuziphatha kwabo kokukopela ngokusho izinto ezinjengokuthi, ``Ukukopela kuwusiko!'' futhi ``Abesilisa nabesifazane bayizidalwa ezikhohlisayo!'' Dlulisela ubucayi bokukopela esothandweni esinjalo ngamagama anjengokuthi ``Ukukopela kuyisono esibi,'' `Ukukopela kuyinto embi kakhulu,'' ``Angifuni ukuqhathwa,'' futhi ``Umubi ngokwenza into enjalo,'' futhi wenze omunye umuntu azizwe enecala ngokukopela.

Bonisa uthando ngentshiseko

Uma isithandwa sakho sikukhohlisa ngoba imizwa yakho isipholile, zama ukushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo mayelana nothando futhi ubonise uthando lwakho ngenkuthalo kunangaphambili ukuze uzuze inhliziyo yesithandwa sakho. Yini isithandwa sakho ebesiyifuna kakhulu ebudlelwaneni? Ngicela, ucabange ngakho. Okuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo nokungavamile? Isithandwa ebukekayo? Noma ingabe impilo yakho yothando/yomshado ijabulisa ukwedlula impilo yakho yokungashadile? Uma ulinganisela izifiso zomthandi wakho bese uyazanelisa, isithandwa sakho ngeke kudingeke ukuba sizenelise ngokukopela, futhi ngokwemvelo uzosusa ukuthambekela kwakhe kokukopela.

Shintsha isimo sakho sengqondo lapho ukhohliswa

Abanye abantu bayabathanda abantu abathandana nabo, ngakho kubuhlungu ukuthi bamqole, kodwa bavele bamxolele. Kodwa-ke, isimo sengqondo esinomusa nokubekezela sizokhuthaza umthandi wakho ukuba akhohlise, ngakho-ke uma ukhohliswa, kungcono okungenani ushintshe isimo sakho sengqondo ukuze ubonise ukunganeliseki nobuhlungu bakho. Uma isithandwa sakho siphathwa ngendlela ebandayo nguwe, kungenzeka ukuthi uzozindla ngokuziphatha kwakhe kokukopela futhi akusebenzise njengethuba lokuzama ukwelapha ukuziphatha kwakhe kokukopela.

tshela inani lokukopela

Abanye abantu bagxile kakhulu ekukopeleni kangangokuthi abaqondi ukuthi izijeziso zenhlalo zinikelwe yini ukukopela. Ngaleso sikhathi, vumela omunye umuntu acabange ngenani lokukopela ngokumtshela inani okufanele alikhokhe. Noma ngabe isithandwa sakho singayinaki imizwa yakho futhi siyithokozela indaba, uma uveza ukuziphatha kwakho kokukopela kulabo abaseduze nawe, isithandwa sakho kungenzeka sigxekwe kakhulu futhi sigwetshwe ngokukopela/ukungathembeki. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uzuze phezulu engxoxweni mayelana nokukopela nesithandwa sakho, ubenze bacabange ngokuziphatha kwabo kokukopela, futhi ubasize ukuthi balulame ekuthambekeleni kwabo kokukopela.

Ukubeka imingcele ngenxa yesehlukaniso noma ngokwehlukana

``Ngisho noma uyakopela, kulungile ngoba umlingani wakho uzokuxolela!'' Abanye abantu ababuqondi ubungozi bokukopela ngoba isoka noma intombi abayithandayo iyoba seduze kwabo. Ukuze wenze umlingani wakho abone ukuthi ubaluleke kangakanani, beka imingcele ngesehlukaniso noma ngokwehlukana! Uma uthi, ``Uma uphinda ungikhohlisa, ngizohlukana nawe!'', isithandwa sakho singase siqale ukwelapha umkhuba waso wokukopela ngoba siyakukhumbula futhi asikuyeki. Kuwukuhlakanipha futhi ukusebenzisa lokhu njengethuba lokuvimbela ukukopela ukuthi kungenzeki futhi ngokwethula imithetho nokulungisa nomlingani wakho.

Angikwazi ukuhlukana nomkhuba wami wokukopela

Uma ungeke ukwazi ukukwelapha ngokuphelele ukuziphatha kokukopela kwesithandwa sakho, ungakhetha ``Qhubeka nokwelashwa'' futhi uqhubeke ukuyelapha, noma ungakhetha ``Kuyeke kunjengoba kunjalo'' futhi ube umuntu omkhulu ngokwanele ukuba angakubeka. uhambisana nokukopela kwesithandwa sakho. Kuhle.

Nokho, uma ungenathemba ngempela ebudlelwaneni bakho bezothando bamanje futhi ungasafuni ukuba nesithandwa sakho, ungakhohlwa ukuthi ``ukuhlukana'' noma ``isehlukaniso'' nakho kuyinketho. Esinye isisombululo siwukuhlukana nomuntu okhohlisayo bese ujabulela ubuhlobo obunomqondo owodwa nomuntu ongakohlisi.