Ungakwazi yini ukululama ngempela ngemva kokulahlekelwa othandekayo?

Uma ulahlekelwe othandekayo, cishe usuvele uyazi ukuthi ukulahlekelwa othandekayo, okungalindelekile noma okulindelekile, kungaletha imizwelo nemicabango eminingi.

Ngisho naphakathi kokuba lusizi, khumbula ukuthi imizwa yakho ilungile nokuthi awukho esimisweni sesikhathi somunye umuntu uma kuziwa ekuphulukiseni.

Lesi sihloko sikhuluma ngendlela abantu ababhekana ngayo nemiphumela yokulahlekelwa yesikhashana neyesikhathi eside. Iphinde ithinte indlela yokubhekana nezinkumbulo ezingezinhle nemizwa yecala.

Indlela Yokubhekana Nazo Ngokushesha Ngemva Kokulahlekelwa

Esikweni lanamuhla, kuvame ukuba nengcindezi yokuthi usheshe uqhubeke futhi ululame ngemva kokulahlekelwa. Yingakho emile kwelokuthi ukwedlula umuntu akumele kube wumgomo wakho kuphela.

Ungakhohlwa ukuzicabangela wena

Usizi luthatha isikhathi ukululama, ngakho-ke zibambezele futhi ube nesineke nomusa.

ukuba nemizwa eyahlukene

Kunokuba kucaciswe izigaba zosizi nokuzama ukushesha ukudlula kuzo, ukubambelela emicabangweni yokuthi izigaba zibukeka kanjani kungaba yingozi, ikakhulukazi kulabo abanomuzwa wokuthi akulona isipiliyoni sabo.Ucwaningo luveze into eyodwa.

Lokhu kuyinto evamile kubantu ababhekene nokulahlekelwa: ukuthola ukuthululwa kothando nokusekelwa ngemva kokulahlekelwa, okulandelwa imizwa yokuhlukaniswa njengoba wonke umuntu ezama ukubuyelana.

Khumbula ukuthi ukwelapha kuthatha isikhathi

Kulula ukuzwa sengathi kufanele uqhubeke, kodwa kulungile ukuzinika isikhathi sokudabuka. Kuthatha isikhathi ukucubungula yonke imizwa eza nokulahlekelwa, ngakho ngizimisele ukuthatha isikhathi esiningi njengoba ngisidinga.

Uveza ukuthi lapho amakhasimende ezwakalisa isifiso “sokudlula imizwa yawo yokudabuka,” avame ukukhunjuzwa ukuthi “sekuyisikhashana nje kuphela.” “Ukuhamba kwesikhathi kubalulekile uma ubhekene nosizi nokulahlekelwa,” usho kanje.

Indlela yokubhekana nayo ngemva kwesikhashana

Siphinde saxoxa ngokuthi usiza kanjani amaklayenti ukuthi alulame isikhathi eside ngemva kokulahlekelwa.

Yamukela Izinkumbulo

Ngokuvamile kunconywa ukwamukela izinkumbulo namaphupho aqhubeka evela, noma ngabe isikhathi sesidlulile.

Abantu abahlale becabanga ngalowo muntu noma baphinde badlale izinkumbulo nezimo eziphathelene nabathandekayo babo ngokuphindaphindiwe banengxenye yabo yokuzama ukugcina lezo zinkumbulo ziphila.”

Lokhu kusho ukuthi ingqondo izama ukugcina inkumbulo yomuntu iphila. Lokhu kungase kuzwakale sengathi awukwazi ukudlula okuthile, kodwa kungase kube inhliziyo yakho ezama ukubambelela enkumbulo ekulethele injabulo.

Uma ingqondo yakho ihlale idlala okuthile, kungase kusho ukuthi kuyinkumbulo ebalulekile kuwe ukuba uphulukise.

Ungayingcwabi imizwa yakho

Ukugxila endleleni ozizwa ngayo kulesi sikhathi samanje kuyakhuthazwa futhi kuvame ukuholela ekwelapheni. Uma lokhu kusebenza, uvamise ukuzizwa uqinisekiswe kakhulu ukuthi ukwamukele ngempela lokho okuzwayo.

ukuthola incazelo ngokulahlekelwa

Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abantu abaningi bafika endaweni yokwelapha ngemva kokuzizwa sengathi bathole incazelo nomongo ekulahlekelweni kwabo. Lokhu kuba njalo ikakhulukazi lapho imizwelo ehlukene ingaba khona ngesikhathi esisodwa, okungukuthi, lapho umuntu ekwazi ukwamukela ukudabuka futhi abambelele kulokho okushiwo ubuhlobo. Ngokwenza kanjalo, abantu bangakwazi ukulawula imizwelo yabo.

Khumbula ukuthi izinkumbulo ezingezinhle nazo zivamile.

Lapho ushonelwa othandekayo, kungaba nzima kakhulu uma unomuzwa wokuthi awukwazanga ukwenza ukuthula naye ngenxa yezinkinga zomuntu siqu. Kuvamile futhi ukuqhubeka ulingisa kabusha zonke izinto obungazenza ukuze unikeze ukwesekwa okwengeziwe ngokwengqondo, ngokomzwelo, nangokomzimba.

Nakuba lezi zinto zinengqondo, akumangalisi ukuthi ukuphulukisa kuba nzima.

Izinkumbulo ezingezinhle nemizwa yecala nakho kuyingxenye evamile yenqubo yokuba lusizi.

Kungenzeka yini ukuba ululame osizini lokushonelwa?

Ukuthola incazelo ngemva kokulahlekelwa kuvame ukukhulunywa ngakho, kodwa kungase kube nzima ukwazi kahle ukuthi lokho kusho ukuthini.

Ukuze bathole lokhu, abacwaningi balandela abantu abashonelwe futhi bangena kubo ngokushesha, unyaka owodwa, izinyanga ezingu-13, nezinyanga ezingu-18 ngemva kokulahlekelwa.

Kulolu cwaningo, incazelo ichazwe ngokuthi "ikhono lokuthola incazelo kumcimbi ngokwawo kanye nokuthola inzuzo kulokho okwenzekayo." Ngonyaka wokuqala, kwakubalulekile ukuqonda ukulahlekelwa futhi kwagcina kungabi nokucindezeleka okuncane. Nokho, ukuthola inzuzo kwakubaluleke kakhulu ekunqumeni ikhono lomuntu lesikhathi eside lokuzivumelanisa nezimo.

Lokhu kusekela umbono wokuthi ikhono lokuthola incazelo ngenkathi uzwa ukudabuka neminye imizwelo kubalulekile ekufikeni endaweni yokwelapha.

Uhlobo oluqondile lokuhamba ofuna ukulwenza luzohluka kumuntu nomuntu. Kusho ukuthi akufanele ucabange ngothandiweyo wakho umzuzu nomzuzu wansuku zonke, noma ukuthola induduzo ezinkumbulo zothandiweyo wakho.

Uhlobo lomonakalo lubalulekile

Amandla omuntu okuphulukisa nawo ancike ekutheni ukulahlekelwa bekulindelwe noma kungazelelwe. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi ukulahlekelwa okungazelelwe kungabangela i-PTSD ezihlotsheni eziseduze, ngakho-ke ungase uthande ukucabangela ukwelashwa kweqembu. Imindeni ebhekene nesifo esithatha isikhathi eside ijwayele ukubhekana nomuzwa wokungabi nakuzisiza, ohlobene ngokuyinhloko nesifiso sayo sokusiza othandekayo wayo esaphila.

Ekuphetheni

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isimo, kubalulekile ukubeka kuqala impilo yakho yengqondo. Ukwelapha akulula neze futhi kuvame ukuzizwa ungakhululekile. Gwema ukuqhathanisa uhambo lwakho lokuphulukisa nomunye umuntu noma ukuthi babhekana kanjani nesimo.

Ukuze ukwazi ukuzelapha ngejubane olidingayo. Futhi ungazizwa unecala ngokufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo, umngane, noma othandekayo.