Yintoni ukuncamathela ukuphepha uloyiko?

Ukuncamathisela okoyikayo yenye yeendlela ezine zokuncamathela zabantu abadala. Abantu abanale ndlela yokuncamathela engakhuselekanga banomnqweno onamandla wobudlelwane obusondeleyo, kodwa ababathembi abanye kwaye boyika ukusondelana.

Ngenxa yoko, abantu abanobudlelwane bokuphepha ukwesaba bavame ukuphepha ubudlelwane ababunqwenelayo.

Eli nqaku liphonononga imbali yethiyori yokuncamathisela, libonelela ngesishwankathelo seendlela ezine zokuncamathela zabantu abadala, kwaye lichaza indlela ekhula ngayo ukuncamathisela okoyikeka. Ikwachaza indlela uncamathiselo oloyikekayo olubachaphazela ngayo abantu kwaye ixoxa ngendlela abantu abanokumelana ngayo nesi simbo sokuncamathela.

Imbali yethiyori yokuncamathela

Isazi ngengqondo uJohn Bowlby wapapasha ithiyori yakhe yokuncamathela ngo-1969 ukucacisa iqhina elenziwa ziintsana nabantwana abancinci kunye nabanonopheli babo. Wacebisa ukuba ngokusabela, abo banyamekela abantwana banokubenza bazive bekhuselekile abantwana, yaye ngenxa yoko, banokulihlola ihlabathi ngentembelo.
Ngeminyaka yoo-1970, umlingane ka-Bowlby uMary Ainsworth wandisa kwiimbono zakhe kwaye wachonga iipateni ezintathu zokuncamathelisa iintsana, echaza iindlela zokuncamathela ezikhuselekileyo nezingakhuselekanga.

Ke ngoko, umbono wokuba abantu bangena kwiindidi ezithile zokuncamathela yayingundoqo kumsebenzi wabaphengululi abawandisa umbono wokuncamathela kubantu abadala.

Imodeli yesimbo sokuncamathela kwabantu abadala

UHazan noShaver (1987) babe ngabokuqala ukucacisa unxulumano phakathi kwabantwana kunye nezimbo zokuncamathela zabantu abadala.

Imodeli yobudlelwane beklasi ezintathu kaHazan kunye noShaver

U-Bowlby uxoxile ukuba abantu baphuhlisa imodeli yokusebenza yobudlelwane bobudlelwane ngexesha lobuntwana eligcinwa ubomi bonke. Le mizekelo isebenzayo inefuthe kwindlela abantu abaziphatha ngayo kunye namava obudlelwane babo abadala.

Ngokusekwe kolu luvo, uHazan noShaver baphuhlise imodeli eyahlula ubudlelwane bothando phakathi kwabantu abadala ngokwamacandelo amathathu. Nangona kunjalo, le modeli ayizange ifake isimbo sokuncamathisela esoyikekayo.

Imodeli kaBartholomew kunye neHorowitz yeklasi ezine yokuncamathela kwabantu abadala

Ngo-1990, uBartholomew noHorowitz bacebise imodeli yodidi olune lweendlela zokuncamathela zabantu abadala kwaye yazisa ingqikelelo yokuncamathela okoyikayo.

Ukuhlelwa kukaBartholomew noHorowitz kusekelwe kwindibaniselwano yeemodeli ezimbini zokusebenza: ingaba siziva sifanelwe luthando nenkxaso nokuba sivakalelwa kukuba abanye banokuthenjwa kwaye bayafumaneka.

Oku kubangele iindlela ezine zokuncamathela zabantu abadala, isimbo esinye esikhuselekileyo, kunye nezimbo ezintathu ezingakhuselekanga.

isimbo sokuncamathela sabantu abadala

Izitayile zokuncamathisela ezichazwe nguBartholomew noHorowitz zezi:

ikhuselekile

Abantu abanesitayile sokuncamathela esikhuselekileyo bakholelwa ukuba balufanele uthando kwaye abanye bathembekile kwaye bayasabela. Ngenxa yoko, ngoxa beziva bekhululekile ukwakha ubuhlobo obusondeleyo, baziva benqabisekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba babe bodwa.

I-Preocupide

Abantu abaneengcamango zangaphambili bakholelwa ukuba abalufanelanga uthando, kodwa ngokubanzi bavakalelwa kukuba abanye bayabaxhasa kwaye bamkele. Ngenxa yoko, aba bantu bafuna ukuqinisekiswa kunye nokuzamkela ngobudlelwane nabanye.

Le Ukuphepha Age

Abantu abancamathiselekayo-baphephe ukuzithemba, kodwa abathembi abanye. Ngenxa yoko, badla ngokukujongela phantsi ukuxabiseka kolwalamano olusenyongweni baze babaphephe.

ukuphepha uloyiko

Abantu abanoloyiko oluncamathelayo olunoloyiko badibanisa isimbo sokuzixakekisa sokuncamathela okunexhala kunye nesitayile esigxothayo. Bakholelwa ukuba abathandeki yaye abathembi ukuba abanye baya kubaxhasa yaye babamkele. Becinga ukuba ekugqibeleni baya kulahlwa ngabanye, bayarhoxa kubudlelwane.

Kodwa kwangaxeshanye, banqwenela ukuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni kuba ukwamkelwa ngabanye kubenza bazive bebhetele.

Ngenxa yoko, ukuziphatha kwabo kunokudida abahlobo kunye namaqabane othando. Basenokukhuthaza ubuhlobo obusondeleyo ekuqaleni, baze bahlehle ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni njengoko beqala ukuziva besesichengeni kubudlelwane.

Ukuphuhliswa kokuncamathela okunoloyiko-ukuphepha

Ukuncamathela okuthintele uloyiko kuhlala kumiliselwa ebuntwaneni xa ubuncinci umzali omnye okanye umkhathaleli ebonakalisa isimilo esoyikekayo. Ezi ziphatha zihlasimlis’ umzimba zinokususela ekuxhatshazweni ngokugqithisileyo ukuya kwiimpawu ezifihlakeleyo zokuxhalaba nokungaqiniseki, kodwa umphumo uyafana.

Kwanaxa abantwana besiya kubazali babo ukuze bafumane intuthuzelo, abazali abakwazi ukubathuthuzela. Ngenxa yokuba umkhathaleli engenasiseko esikhuselekileyo yaye enokuba ngumthombo wonxunguphalo emntwaneni, umnqweno womntwana usenokuba kukufuna ukuthuthuzelwa, kodwa emva koko arhoxe.

Abantu abagcina le modeli yokusebenza yokuncamathela ebudaleni baya kubonisa iminqweno efanayo yokufudukela kunye nokude nobudlelwane babo kunye nabahlobo, amaqabane, amaqabane, osebenza nabo kunye nabantwana.

Iziphumo zoloyiko/ukuphepha ukuncamathela

Abantu abanobudlelwane obunoloyiko-ukuphepha bafuna ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo phakathi kwabantu, kodwa bafuna ukuzikhusela ekwaliwe. Ngenxa yoko, bafuna iqabane kodwa bayakuphepha ukuzibophelela ngokwenene okanye balushiye ngokukhawuleza ulwalamano lwabo ukuba lusondelelana kakhulu.

Abantu abanoloyiko-ukuphepha okunamathiselwe bafumana iingxaki ezahlukeneyo kuba bakholelwa ukuba abanye baya kubalimaza kwaye abanelisekanga kubudlelwane.

Umzekelo, izifundo zibonise ikhonkco phakathi koloyiko-ukuphepha ukuncamathela kunye nokudakumba.

Ngokophando olwenziwa nguVan Buren kunye noCooley kunye noMurphy kunye noBates, kukuzijonga kakubi kunye nokuzigxeka okuyanyaniswa nokuncamathela okoyikayo okwenza ukuba abantu abanale ndlela yokuncamathela babe sesichengeni sokudakumba, ukuxhalaba ekuhlaleni, kunye neemvakalelo ezingalunganga ngokubanzi. Kuvela ukuba kunjalo.

Nangona kunjalo, olunye uphando lubonise ukuba, xa kuthelekiswa nezinye izitayile zokuncamathisela, ukuncamathela okoyikayo kuqikelele ukuba namaqabane amaninzi okwabelana ngesondo kunye nokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba uvume ukwabelana ngesondo okungafunwayo.

Ukujongana nezinamathiselo zokuphepha uloyiko

Kukho iindlela zokujongana nemingeni eza kunye nesimbo sokuncamathisela esoyikisayo. Zezi:

Yazi isimbo sakho sokuncamathela

Ukuba uchonga kunye nenkcazo yokuNcamathisela kokuNyema, funda ngakumbi, njengoko oku kukunika ingqiqo kwiipateni kunye neenkqubo zokucinga ezinokuthi zikuthintele ekufumaneni into oyifunayo kuthando kunye nobomi.

Gcina ukhumbule ukuba ulwahlulo lwabantu abadala oluqhotyoshelweyo lubanzi kwaye alukwazi ukuchaza ngokugqibeleleyo ukuziphatha okanye iimvakalelo zakho.

Nangona kunjalo, awukwazi ukutshintsha iipatheni zakho ukuba awuzazi, ngoko ke ukufunda ukuba yeyiphi isimbo sokuncamathela esisebenza kakuhle kuwe linyathelo lokuqala.

Ukumisela kunye nokunxibelelana imida kubudlelwane

Ukuba uyoyika ukuba uza kurhoxa ngokuthetha kakhulu ngawe ngokukhawuleza kubudlelwane bakho, zama ukuthatha izinto kancinci. Yazisa iqabane lakho ukuba kulula ukuthetha naye ngokuthe ngcembe.

Kwakhona, ngokubaxelela into ekukhathazayo nento onokuyenza ukuze uzive ungcono, unokwakha ubuhlobo obunqabiseke ngakumbi.

yiba nobubele kuwe

Abantu abanobudlelwane boloyiko-ukuphepha banokucinga kakubi malunga neziqu zabo kwaye bahlala bezigxeka.

Kuyanceda ukuba ufunde ukuthetha wedwa njengokuba uthetha nabahlobo bakho. Ngokwenza njalo, unokuba nemfesane kunye nokuqonda kwakho ngelixa ucinezela ukuzigxeka.

ukuya kunyango

Kusenokuba luncedo ukuxoxa ngemiba yokuncamathela eyoyikeka kunye nomcebisi okanye umnyangi.

Nangona kunjalo, uphando lubonise ukuba abantu abanesi sitayela sokuncamathela bathanda ukukuphepha ukusondelelana, nokuba ngabanyangi babo, abanokuthintela unyango.

Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukufuna ingcali yonyango onamava okuphatha ngempumelelo abantu abanoloyiko-ukuphepha ukuncamathela kwaye owaziyo indlela yokoyisa lo mqobo wonyango unokubakho.