Ndifuna ukuthetha ngeengxaki zam zokungathembeki! Ndithetha nabani xa ndiqhathiwe?

Ukucebisa malunga neemeko zokuthandana kwakhona kuyingxaki kubantu abaninzi. Ukuphanda ukuqhatha/ukunganyaniseki kweqabane lakho kunye nokungathembeki kwakho ngumcimbi wabucala kwaye uhlazisayo. Ukuba ufuna ukuthetha nomnye umntu ngayo, kufuneka ukhethe umntu ofuna ukuthetha naye ngononophelo. Ukuba uthetha malunga nomcimbi wesithandwa sakho nabanye ngaphandle kwemvume, into yokuba uqhathiwe iya kuba yinto yoluntu kubantu abakungqongileyo. Yaye ukuba ubani akakwazi ukuyihlolisisa ngokuzolileyo imeko oye waqhathwa kuyo, usenokukufundisa iindlela ezingafanelekanga zokuhlangabezana nale meko, elwenza mbi ngakumbi ulwalamano lwakho lothando nobomi bentsapho.

Xa uxoxa ngemiba yokungathembeki nomnye umntu, ukukhalazela nje isithandwa sakho ayiko ``ukubonisana'' kwaye akunantsingiselo. Eyona nto ilungileyo onokuyenza kukuzenza uzive ukhululekile ngokubonisana ngokuqhatha, ufumane umfanekiso ocacileyo wophuhliso lobudlelwane bakho bothando nesithandwa sakho, uphucule iindlela zakho zophando lokukopela, kwaye ekugqibeleni usombulule imiba yakho ngokungathembeki. Ngoko ke, eli nqaku liza kuchaza indlela yokukhetha umntu ofuna ukuthetha naye xa ufuna ukuthetha ngokukopa.

Nye. Ngaba lo mntu uthetha naye ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni?

Xa kufikwa kumntu oza kuthetha naye ngokukopa, abantu abaninzi bakhetha umhlobo osenyongweni wesi sibini. Isizathu kukuba ukuba aba bantu babini bayazana ngokufanayo, kuya kwenzeka ukuba baqonde ngakumbi iingxaki zothando ezivela ngelixa abo babini bethandana kwaye bahlalutye unobangela wokuthandana ngokwembono enenjongo. Oku kuya kuvumela elinye iqela ukuba likubonelele ngesona sisombululo sifanelekileyo ukusombulula ingxaki yakho.

Kwakhona, kufuneka ukhethe umntu onokuthetha naye oqinileyo nothembekileyo. Ukuba awukwenzi oku, amahemuhemu malunga nokuthandana kwesithandwa sakho aya kuba ngamarhe kwaye asasazeke ngakumbi nangakumbi. Ngokukodwa, ukuba umntu obonisana naye uvela kwicala lomthandi wakho, akayi kuba kuphela kwicala lomthandi wakho kwaye anyamezele umcimbi, kodwa unokuxelela isithandwa sakho ukuba uyawazi umcimbi. Ukuba kunjalo, unokukufumanisa kunzima ukungenisa ubungqina obufana neefoto zokuqhatha, kwaye usenokuba phantsi kokuxhatshazwa ngamazwi okanye ubundlobongela kwisithandwa sakho. Ngoko ke, kuyimfuneko ukujonga ukuba ngaba umchasi lutshaba okanye ungumlingane.

Xa ukhetha umntu oza kuthethana naye, isini somntu sikwayingqwalasela ebalulekileyo. Ngokubanzi, ukuba uthetha ngokukopela nomntu wesini esifanayo, unokuthetha ngemibandela yengqondo kunye nezihloko zesondo ongenakukwazi ukuthetha ngazo kunye nesini esahlukileyo, kwaye unokukhulula intlungu yakho ngaphezu kokuba unako ngencoko. kunye nabantu besini esahlukileyo, kwaye unokusabela kwimeko yakho, kwaye unokuza nesicombululo esilula. Nangona kunjalo, ngokubonisana nomntu wesini esahlukileyo, kukwakho ingenelo yokukwazi ukuqonda ipsychology yokukopa abantu besini esahlukileyo ongenakuyiqonda. Ukucebisana ngokukopa kusenokuba neentloni, kodwa kusenokukwazi ukucombulula zonke iingxaki zakho ngokweemvakalelo kwiinkalo ezahlukahlukeneyo.

Buza umhlobo wakho indlela yokujongana nokungathembeki ngendlela ecacileyo

Ndifuna ukuqokelela amanyathelo amaninzi okuthintela ukukopela kubahlobo bam, kwaye ndifuna ukuqonda ingqondo esemva kokukopela kwisithandwa sam, kodwa andifuni ukwazisa abantu abandingqongileyo ukuba ndiqhathiwe. Ngelo xesha, zama ukuxoxa ngomcimbi ngendlela ecacileyo.

Kanye njengokuqinisekisa ukukrokrela ukukopela ngamazwi, xa uthetha nomhlobo, lawula incoko kwaye uthethe izinto ezinje, `Kukho iindaba ezininzi malunga nokungathembeki mva nje,'' ``Kubonakala ngathi iXX Ukuba nobudlelwane noXX,'' okanye ''Le...'' Khange ndicinge ukuba ngumntu, '' ''Andifuni kuqhathwa,'' ''ndinexhala isithandwa sam ukukopela, '' `Kutheni u-XX ekopela?'' njl njl uya kubangela ukukopela, kwaye abahlobo baya kukuxelela indlela yokujongana nokukopela, i-psychology of cheaters, njl. Unokuqokelela izimvo zakho. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba awunamdla kwisihloko sokukopela, nceda unganyanzeli. Kukho umngcipheko wokuba abantu bacinge ukuba ungumntu ofuna ukuba nobudlelwane.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba lo mntu uthetha naye uyakuqhatha

Ukuba ukukopela kufunyenwe kodwa iqabane elikhohlisayo alinalo ulwazi olwaneleyo, akuqhelekanga ukuba iqabane elikhohlisayo libe ngumntu omaziyo. Ukuba wenza impazamo yokuxoxa ngamanyathelo okuthintela kunye neqabane lakho lokukopela, yonke into iya kudlula. Ukuba awuyazi isazisi seqabane lokukopela, kungcono ukujonga ngokubhekiselele kwiimpawu zabantu abanokuthi bakhethwe njengabalingani bokukopela.

Mbini. Thetha nentsapho yakho

Kuthekani ngokuthetha nabazali bakho okanye abantakwenu? Imeko iya kuhluka ngokuxhomekeke kwisimilo sesihlobo, isimo sengqondo sabo malunga nokuqhatha, kunye namava abo okuthandana ngaphandle komtshato. Ukuba ungumntu onamava, unokuba nesisombululo esihle sokukopela / ukungathembeki. Ngelo xesha, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyiqaphele kukuba abazali banokungoneliseki xa umntwana wabo eqhathwa, kwaye banokufundisa umthandi okanye babuze abazali bomthandi, ngaloo ndlela besasaza imiphumo emibi yomcimbi. Kwimeko enjalo, kungekhona kuphela ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu ababini kodwa kunye nobudlelwane phakathi kweentsapho ezimbini buya kutshatyalaliswa, okwenza kube nzima ukuphucula ubudlelwane bothando kunye nokwenza kube nzima ukuphanda umcimbi kwixesha elizayo.

Ntathu. Fumana umntu oza kuthetha naye kwi-intanethi

Kutheni ungabhali malunga nokukopela komthandi wakho kwibhodi yengcebiso yothando kwaye ucele wonke umntu okwi-intanethi ukuba athathe amanyathelo okuthintela? Ingakumbi ukuba ukhupha konke okukukhathazayo malunga nokuqhathwa kwibhodi yebhulethi engaziwa, uya kuziva ungcono. Ungaphinda uphakamise iinkxalabo zakho malunga nokuqhatha njengengxaki yokubonisana ngothando kwiindawo ezikhethekileyo ze-Q&A ezifana ne-OKWAVE, iChiebukuro kaYahoo, kunye neGoo. Ekubeni ungamazi omnye umntu, kunenzuzo ukuba unokuthetha naye ngokulula, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukufumana umntu ongazi nto kangako ngemeko yakho yangoku ukuba anikele isicombululo esicenga kakhulu.

ezine. Abacuphi kunye namagqwetha nabo banokhetho.

Ii-arhente ezininzi zabacuphi kunye neefemu zomthetho zibonelela ngeenkonzo zokubonisana simahla zokukopela. Umntu obonisana naye yingcali kwiingxaki zokukopela, ngoko baya kuba nakho ukukunika izisombululo ezikhethekileyo kunabanye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ubonisana nomcuphi okanye igqwetha, izihloko eziphambili ziya kuba zizicelo zophando malunga nokungathembeki, ukwahlukana / imiba yoqhawulo-mtshato enxulumene nokungathembeki, okanye izicelo zoqhawulo-mtshato / isondlo somntu omdala Ukuba ungumntu ofuna ukuphucula umtshato wakho ubudlelwane, kungcono ukubuza imibuzo yabantu abasondeleyo kuwe.

Uthethwano lukamasipala lwasimahla

Ukuba akufumani mntu ulungileyo onokuthetha naye, ungasebenzisa oku njengethuba lokusebenzisa inkonzo yokubonisana yasimahla kamasipala wakho. Oomasipala ngokubanzi bane-ofisi yokubonisana simahla ukunceda abemi kwiingxaki zabo zemihla ngemihla. Ngoku awukwazi ukuthetha malunga nokukhohlisa / ukungathembeki kuphela, kodwa kunye nezinye iinkxalabo onokuthi ube nazo ngaphandle komnye umntu owaziyo ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufuna ukusebenzisa iziko lokubonisana simahla, kufuneka ungenise isihloko sokubonisana kwaye wenze ugcino kwiveki enye kwangaphambili. Ngexesha eligciniweyo, unokuba lula ukudibana nemizuzu engama-30 kunye nengcali ejongene nesihloko.

Iingenelo zokuxoxa ngemibandela yokukrexeza nabanye

Njengomntu oye waqhathwa, usenokungakwazi ukuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba kutheni umthandi wakho ekopela. Kwakhona kusenokwenzeka ukuba abantu abakungqongileyo sele befumanise ukuba uyabaqhatha. Ke ngoko, ukukhetha umntu ofanelekileyo onokuthetha naye kunokuba lithuba lokuphonononga ubudlelwane bakho bothando kwaye ujonge izimo zengqondo kunye neembono zabo bakungqongileyo malunga nokukopela. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uye waqhathwa, kubhetele ufumane umntu olungileyo oza kuthetha naye kunokuba uzikhathaze wedwa.