Iimpawu ezili-17 ukuba ukumtshato we-narcissistic okanye ubudlelwane

Iimpawu ze-narcissism zihlala zinzima ukuzibona kumanqanaba okuqala obudlelwane, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, le miqondiso ibonakala ngakumbi. Eli nqaku liza kukunceda uchonge ukuba iqabane lakho libonisa nayiphi na imiqondiso ye-narcissism.

Yintoni narcissism?

I-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual ye-Mental Disorders, i-Fifth Edition (DSM-V) ichaza i-narcissism "njengomzekelo wenkohliso exhaphakileyo yobukhulu, imfuno eqhubekayo yokudunyiswa, kunye nokungabi novelwano." Ubuncinci ezintlanu kwezi migaqo kufuneka zifezekiswe.

• imvakalelo enkulu yokuzibona ubalulekile
• Ukuzixakekisa ngeentelekelelo zempumelelo engapheliyo, amandla, ukuqaqamba, ubuhle, kunye nothando olufanelekileyo.
• Ukucinga ukuba ukhethekile kwaye ukhethekile, kwaye kufuneka ukwazi ukuqonda kuphela okanye ukudibanisa nabanye abantu abakhethekileyo okanye abantu abakwizinga eliphezulu.
• imfuneko yokunconywa ngokugqithiseleyo
• ukuqonda amalungelo
• izenzo zokuxhaphaza abanye
• ukungabi naluvelwano
• Ukubamonela abanye okanye ukukholelwa ukuba abanye bayabamonela.
• Ukubonakalisa impatho yekratshi okanye ikratshi okanye isimo sengqondo.

Iimpawu ukuba ukumtshato narcissistic okanye ubudlelwane

Makhe sijonge ezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha ezinokuboniswa ngumntu one-narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Uninzi lweendlela zokuziphatha ezidweliswe ngezantsi zingabonakalisa ukuphazamiseka kobuntu be-narcissistic, kodwa nguchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo kuphela onokwenza uxilongo oluchanekileyo.

ungaziva uqhagamshelwe

Iqabane lakho liya kuthetha nawe xa liluncedo. Kodwa eneneni, abakhe beve ngezicwangciso zakho zekamva okanye indlela esinokusebenzisana ngayo ukwakha ubomi obufunayo.

Bahlala beziqhayisa ngokwabo kunye nempumelelo yabo, abafane babonise umdla kwinto eyenzekayo ebomini bakho okanye babuze imibuzo. Ulonwabo lwabo luvela kwizinto zangaphandle, ezifana nodumo nemali emsebenzini. Ndiyazibuza ukuba bayakwazi na ukuziva iimvakalelo zothando kunye noqhagamshelwano lweemvakalelo.

uzive ulawulwa

Iqabane lakho liya kwenza izoyikiso ezifihlakeleyo kulo lonke ubudlelwane. Kwanokuba amazwi akho akathanga ngqo, mhlawumbi uvakalelwa kukuba xa ungenzi nto okanye usabela kwisicelo somnye umntu, kuya kwenzeka into embi. Ngamanye amaxesha kuba lula ukwenza into efunwa ngomnye umntu, nokuba awuvumelani nayo. Le yindlela yokulawula kunye nokukhohlisa iqabane lakho ukuze lifumane into oyifunayo.

Abantu abakobu budlelwane bahlala belibala ukuba ubomi babo babunjani ngaphambi kokuba baphathwe.

Awuziva Ulungile ngokwaneleyo

Uneemvakalelo zokungafaneleki, ongakufanelanga oko ukufezileyo ebomini bakho. Iqabane lakho lithanda ukukuhlalisa phantsi okanye lithethe kakubi ngento oyenzayo. Ngaba awukwazi ukwenza izinto obukade uzithanda ngenxa yokungabi naxesha?

Mhlawumbi usoloko udiniwe yaye ukufumanisa kunzima ukuvuka ekuseni. Ndaqalisa ukufihlela intsapho nabahlobo bam izinto yaye ndaziva ndineentloni ngobomi bam. Ukuxoka ukufihla into eyenziwa liqabane lakho okanye elingayenziyo.

usoloko ukhanyiswe

Ukuba umntu uhlala ekhanyela into oyaziyo ukuba iyinyani, bayakukhanyela. Oku kuqhelekile kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo okanye obulawulayo, kwaye liqhinga eliqhelekileyo lama-narcisists.

Ngokomzekelo, iqabane lakho linokuthetha ngeziganeko ozaziyo, njengokuthi, ``Awukhumbuli kakuhle.'' Baza kukucaphukisa ekukholelweni ukuba izinto ezithile azizange zenzeke, okanye ukuba benze okuthile ngenxa yento oyenzileyo okanye oyithethileyo kwasekuqaleni.

Iqabane lakho linokuxoka ngezenzo zakho kwaye lizame ukujija inyani ukuze ilingane nenguqulelo yabo kunokuba kwenzeke ngokwenene. Usenokuqalisa ukuzithandabuza kwaye uzive ngathi uyaphambana.

Ukuba oku kuyenzeka phambi kosapho lwakho okanye izihlobo zakho, basenokuqalisa ukucinga ukuba uyingxaki, hayi iqabane lakho. Namaqabane abonakala enomtsalane kakhulu kumphezulu anokuba nzima ukuqonda ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni emva kweminyango evaliweyo.

yiphephe incoko

Kwanokuba uzama ukuzola yaye ungacatshukiswa yindlela omnye umntu aziphethe ngayo, usenokufumanisa ukuba yonke incoko onayo nomnye ijika ibe yingxabano. AmaNarcissists ahlala ezama ukucofa amaqhosha akho kwaye enze ukuba usabele. Bafumana ulwaneliseko lokulawula iimvakalelo zabanye.

Ngokuqhelekileyo kulula ukuyiphepha incoko ngokupheleleyo kunokuba uhlale ubandakanyeka kwimfazwe yengqondo.

Ndiziva ndinoxanduva kuyo yonke into

AmaNarcisists ahlala ekholelwa ukuba yonke into iyimpazamo yomnye umntu, nokuba enze into engalunganga. Akusayi kubakho xolo kwi-narcissist. I-Narcissists ayiboni abanye njengabalinganayo, ngoko kuyavakala ukuba ukucela uxolo kuya kuba ngaphandle kombuzo.

Iqabane lakho le-narcissistic aliyi kuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo zakhe kwaye liya kuhlala likugxeka. Ukuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle, lityala lakho, nokuba ngomnye umntu onempazamo.

Uvakalelwa kukuba yonke into embi eyenzekayo ebomini babo ngandlel’ ithile lityala lakho yaye akukho nto unokuyenza ngaloo nto.

uhamba phezu kwamaqokobhe amaqanda

Ngaba uziva ngathi uhamba phezu kwamaqokobhe amaqanda ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukuba iqabane lakho liza kugqabhuka nini okanye libe ne-cranky?

Umzekelo oqhelekileyo yinto efana nale. Yonke into ibonakala ihamba kakuhle, kodwa xa kusenzeka into engenamsebenzi, uyacaphuka. Nokuba into encinci njengomntu ofumana ikhredithi ngelixa iqabane lakhe liziva ngathi alihoywanga kunokubangela ukuba umntu onama-narcissist agqabhuke. Oku kubizwa ngokuba ngumsindo we-narcissistic.

Unokuziva ulahlekile, wenze zonke izigqibo zokukholisa iqabane lakho le-narcissistic.

ubona ngomtsalane

Kumphezulu, iqabane lakho linomtsalane, linokuzithemba, kwaye linobuchule. Nangona kunjalo, kubonakala ngaloo ndlela kuphela ngenxa yokuba bekwazi ukufihla ubunyani babo esidlangalaleni. Uthi zonke izinto ezintle kwaye wonke umntu uyamthanda, kodwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba bobabini bodwa, yonke into iyatshintsha. Ngenxa yoko, ngokukhawuleza bazifumana benxibelelana nomntu owahluke ngokupheleleyo kwinto ababonakala beyiyo.

uzive ugxekwa rhoqo

Iqabane lakho ligxeka kakhulu inkangeleko yakho. Basenokuthetha ngobunzima bakho, isinxibo, okanye indlela okhetha ngayo iinwele zakho. Yenza intlekisa ngawe okanye ikubeke phantsi. Oku kunokwenzeka emva kwakho okanye ebusweni bakho.

bahlekise abanye. Ngokukodwa, bahlekisa ngabantu abacinga ukuba bangaphantsi kwabo (njengabantu abangathandekiyo okanye abazizityebi). Ngokubanzi ugxeka wonke umntu.

iimfuno zakho azihoywa

Iqabane lakho licinga kuphela ngezidingo zalo kunye nendlela izinto ezibachaphazela ngayo, hayi wena okanye nabani na ongomnye (kuquka abantwana bakho ukuba unosapho). Baya kwenza kuphela oko kulungileyo kubo, kungekhona wena okanye ulwalamano lwakho.

Umzekelo, inokuba liqabane lakho.

• Ndifuna ukulala ngesondo xa iqabane lam lifuna, kodwa hayi xa ndifuna.
• lindela ukucoca emva koko
• zithathele uzuko
• Ndiba nomsindo xa abanye bexabisa intsapho yam ngaphezu kweyam.
• Ukunika unyango olukhethekileyo kubantwana abathile kunabanye ukuze wenze umntwana omnye abonakale engcono.

Usapho lwakho likulumkisile (okanye alazi)

Usapho lwam luye lwandixelela ukuba aluyithandi indlela endiphethe ngayo iqabane lam. Okanye iqabane lakho lixoka ngawe ngoko ke usapho lwakho aluqondi ukuba kukho into engalunganga. Kuyo nayiphi na imeko, xa kucingwa ngolwalamano lwentsapho, amaqabane aba yingxabano.

uyaqhatha

I-Narcissists idla ngokuba ziinkosi zokukopela kwaye inokuba kukukopela. Banomtsalane kakhulu kwaye bayayazi indlela yokuphumelela iintliziyo zabantu. Usenokuthandabuza enoba omnye umntu usoloko enyanisekile ngokudlala ngothando. Usenokuba ukuqhathile amaxesha amaninzi, ngoko awuyi kukwazi ukumnqanda ukuba aphinde akwenze.

ukuziva ungathandwa

Ukuqala kwethu ukudibana, ndaziva ngathi ngoyena mntu umangalisayo emhlabeni. Kodwa njengoko ixesha lihamba kwaye iingxaki zivela, iqabane lakho laqala ukukuqhawula kwaye lingakuhoyi. Le iflegi ebomvu ukuba baxoke ngokwabo kwindawo yokuqala.

Ekuqaleni, usenokuba ufumene iibhombu zothando ukuze uhlale unamathele, kodwa wakuba utshatile, ezo bhombu zothando ziphelile.

ufumana unyango cwaka

Iqabane lakho usebenzisa unyango cwaka njengendlela yokudlala amandla ukukulawula. Baza kubamba uthando kwaye bangabuhoyi ubukho bakho de bazive ngathi balungile kwakhona. Kuqhelekile kuphela xa kuluncedo ngandlela ithile (njengokufumana into oyifunayo).

Usenokucinga ukuba olu hlobo lokuziphatha luqhelekile okanye “lulindelwe” kubantu abatshatileyo. Kodwa eneneni, ukuthula akuyonxalenye yolwalamano olusempilweni, olunothando nolunentlonelo.

basengxakini yemali

Ukuba kukho into enye narcissists abalungileyo, oko ukuthatha inzuzo amaqabane abo ngokwezimali. Iqabane lakho lisenokungakwazi ukuqhubeka nokusebenza kwaye wena uhlawula zonke iindleko, okanye umsebenzi weqabane lakho unokungenisa imali eninzi kodwa akubonakalisi kuwe.

Ukuba kunjalo, iqabane lakho linokuchitha yonke imali yokugqibela kuye kwaye alinanjongo yokwabelana nawe ngoku okanye kwixesha elizayo.

Andikwazi ukuxhomekeka kwiqabane lam

Xa benza isithembiso, ungazi ukuba baya kusigcina na. AmaNarcisists adume ngokwenza izithembiso aze azaphule xa kufanelekile. Andinaqabane endithembele kuye, kwaye kufuneka ndizenzele yonke into.

Abayi kutshintsha nangona ubacelile.

Isizathu sokuba i-narcissist ingatshintshi kukuba kuthetha ukuvuma into engalunganga ngaphakathi kwabo, kwaye i-narcissist ayisoze iyivume loo nto. Kwelinye icala, abanye abantu bazingomb’ isifuba ngokuvuma ukuba bangootsotsi kodwa bathi abanye bayingxaki.

Ukuba iqabane lakho alizami ukutshintsha ukuziphatha kwabo, usenokuba ukuthandana a narcissist.

Yintoni omawuyenze xa ukwi relationship ne narcissist

Ukuba nobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissist kunokuba neziphumo ezibi kunye nexesha elide kwimpilo yakho yengqondo. Ukuba iqabane lakho lixhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo kwaye aliyi kutshintsha indlela aziphatha ngayo, lixesha lokuphinda ucinge ngobudlelwane. Kwaye ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuthatha umhlalaphantsi, qiniseka ukuba unayo inkqubo yenkxaso ekhoyo ngaphambili. Umzekelo, oku kunokuba ngumhlobo, ilungu losapho, okanye umnyangi.

Ukuba uqhubeka nobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissist.

• Fumana unyango okanye inkxaso yangaphandle
• Ukudala kunye nokugcina imida
• Gcina iirekhodi zeengxoxo kunye neziganeko zokuthintela ukukhanyiswa kwegesi.
• Zola kwaye uzinze
• Emsebenzini ndiyayixhathisa intlebendwane endenza ndifune ukuthetha.
• Funda kangangoko unako malunga nama-narcissists ukuze ukwazi ukuqonda amaqhinga kunye nokukhohlisa.

ukuququmbela

Nabani na unokuzicingela, kodwa ii-narcissists azibonakali zisebenza ngenye indlela. Khumbula: Ulwazi lunamandla. Funda konke onako malunga ne-narcissism ukuze ukwazi ukubona ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni. Ukuthathela ingqalelo ukuba ukuthandana ne-narcissist kungonakalisa ukuzithemba kwakho, ukuzikhathalela kubalulekile. Cinga ngonyango lokukhusela impilo yakho yengqondo.