Izizathu zokuba kutheni uthando lungasebenzi

Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba uthando aluhlali ixesha elide. Ezona zizathu zibangela ukuba ubudlelwane busilele kukuphelelwa kukuthembana, ukunganxibelelani kakuhle, ukungabi nantlonipho, izinto ezibalulekileyo ezibalulekileyo, kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni.

Kweli nqaku, siza kuchaza ukuba kutheni ngamnye enokuba ngunobangela wokuphelisa ubudlelwane.

ukuphulukana nokuthenjwa

Enye yeemvakalelo ezisisiseko eziyimfuneko kulwalamano oluhle phakathi kwabantu kukuziva unqabisekile. Ukuba awunayo inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo okanye uziva ngathi iqabane lakho alithembekanga, unokuphulukana nokuthenjwa.

Ukuba iqabane lakho alicacanga okanye kunzima ukulichonga, eso sisizathu sokukhathazeka. Ulwalamano lwabantu olusekelwe ekungathembani aluzinzanga.

Ixoki

Umzekelo, masithi ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho belixoka. Ubuxoki bunokuba nemiphumo enamandla. Ngaba yayibubuxoki obumhlophe, okanye yayibubuxoki ukuze kukhuselwe ixoki? Ubuxoki obumhlophe budla ngokuba buncinci, kodwa ubuxoki bokwenyani bunokuba neziphumo ezide.

yonke iminqweno

Ukuba uneqabane elinezinto ezininzi, zibuze, "Ngaba oku kubonakala kunempilo?" Ngaba iqabane lakho likwahlula kude kubahlobo okanye lisoloko likujongisisa? ”

Olu ayilophawu lokuba kukho umntu okuthembileyo. Zixelele ukuba olu asilobudlelwane obuphilileyo.

Umona

Umona omncinci usempilweni kwaye ubonisa ukuba anithatheli ngqalelo. Kodwa ukuba umntu unamandla kakhulu kwaye ubonisa iimpawu zomona we-pathological, ezi ziiflegi ezibomvu.

Ukukrexeza

Ukuba uyakrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho liyaqhatha, usenokuvakalelwa kukuba isiseko sento enakhileyo kunye siye sachithwa. Inoba andisakwazi ukumthemba lomntu. Ngaba ngaba ucinga ukuba banjalo?

Ubudlelwane obugxile ekungathembeni kwaye buzaliswe bubuxoki, umona, kunye nokungathembeki mhlawumbi akuyi kuhlala.

ukungabikho konxibelelwano

Ukuba uthetha kuphela ngeeshedyuli zabantwana bakho okanye uluhlu lwakho lomsebenzi wempelaveki, unxibelelwano lwakho luye lwaba yintengiselwano. Unxibelelwano olusempilweni lufuna izihloko ezahlukeneyo.

Nokuba ninxibelelana kakuhle, kulungile ukungavumelani. Ingxabano ayinakuphepheka, kodwa kukho iindlela zokuyilawula ngezakhono zonxibelelwano ezisebenzayo. Unxibelelwano lumele luzaliswe luvelwano, ukuqonda nokuphulaphula ngenyameko. Ngelishwa, izibini ezininzi zikufumanisa kunzima ukunxibelelana ngale ndlela.

Isenokubonakala iphikisana, kodwa izibini eziqhayisa ngokungaze zilwe asiyonto ilungileyo. Ihlala ibonakalisa omabini amaqela aphepha ungquzulwano. Bakhetha ukungagungqi okanye baveze imiba enzima.

Kungcono ukuba izibini zifumane iindlela zokuvakalisa nokuxoxa ngokukhathazeka kwazo kunokungaxambulisani kwaphela.

Kuphononongo lwakutsha nje, izazinzulu ziye zahlalutya izicelo zezibini/zirhoxisa iindlela zonxibelelwano. Esi simbo sibonisa ukuba xa elinye iqabane lifuna okanye likhalazela into ethile, elinye iqabane liyakuphepha ukungquzulana kwaye lihlehle umva.

Olu phononongo lufumanise ukuba njengoko ubunzima bezemali bukhula, le mfuno/ isimbo sokurhoxa siyanda. Ngaphaya koko, yayikwanxulunyaniswa nokwaneliseka okuphantsi komtshato. Noko ke, umphumo obangel’ umdla waba kukuba izibini ezineemvakalelo zombulelo nombulelo zoyisa le ngxaki yonxibelelwano.

ukungabi nantlonipho

Izibini zidla ngokungaboni ngasonye kwimibandela eyahlukahlukeneyo, yaye imiba yemali idla ngokuba ngunobangela wokungavisisani. Mhlawumbi omnye ungowachithayo aze omnye asindise. Ingxaki ayikho kwinto yokuba inkcitho kunye nokugcinwa kuchasene ne-diametrically, kodwa kwindlela imali exoxwa ngayo.

Ngoko xa nixambulisana ngemali okanye enye into, kubalulekile ukukhangela indlela elinye icala eliphatha ngayo elinye. Ngaba iqabane lakho ngumntu omhloniphayo? Ngaba ukhe uhlekiswe? Okanye ngaba iqabane lakho liya kukubeka phantsi, likukhuphele amehlo, lize likuphathe ngendelelo ngokupheleleyo? Ezi ziimpawu zokuba anihloniphani.

Izazi ngengqondo ezidumileyo neengcaphephe zozinzo lomtshato namathuba oqhawulo-mtshato zigqala indelelo njengoyena mtshabalalisi mkhulu wolwalamano. Kwakhona kuthiwa indelelo sesona sizathu soqhawulo-mtshato.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyahlekisa ngawe, likhohlakele, okanye likuchasile, luphawu lokukucekisa. Oku kungabikho kwenkoliseko nentlonipho kunokubangela iiyantlukwano ezingenakulungiseka kubudlelwane.

Umahluko kwizinto eziphambili

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho langoku okanye lexesha elide lineminqweno eyahlukileyo yothando kunye neenjongo zobomi kunawe, ubudlelwane bakho bunokuqala ukonakala.

iinjongo zobudlelwane ezahlukeneyo

Unokuba nezinto eziphambili ezahlukeneyo xa kuziwa kubudlelwane. Umzekelo, emva kwenyanga yokuthandana, umntu osandul 'umhlolokazi unokufuna ukubhukisha uhambo olumnandi kunye nawe kwaye uhlale ngaphandle kwekhonkco. Kodwa unokuba ulungele ukwazisa uthando lwakho kusapho lwakho ngexesha leeholide ezizayo kwaye uqale kwindlela ebaluleke ngakumbi.

iinjongo zobomi ezahlukeneyo

Mhlawumbi nobabini nineenjongo ezahlukeneyo zexesha elide zekamva. Ukuba awulenzi ixesha lokuthetha, unokucaphuka kukufunda ukuba amaphupha neenjongo zeqabane lakho zahlukile kwezakho.

Umzekelo, unokufuna ukwenza umsebenzi wamabhongo edolophini kule minyaka mihlanu izayo. Iqabane lakho, kwelinye icala, lifuna ukuhlala phantsi kwaye liqalise usapho kwi-suburbs kunyaka ozayo.

Ukuba uyalalanisa okanye awukwazi ukonwabela ukulandela indlela enye, ubudlelwane bakho buya konakala.

Ukuba nosukelo olwahlukileyo akuthethi ukuba ulwalamano lwenu luphelile. Ngokomzekelo, usukelo lwakho lunokuba nempembelelo kusukelo lwabanye.

Uphando lwakutsha nje olupapashwe kwiJournals of Gerontology luphande ukuxhomekeka komnye komnye kwiinjongo zomtshato. Uhlolisiso olwenziwa kwizibini ezingama-450 zafumanisa ukuba amaqabane ahlala ixesha elide ayaphembelela omnye komnye xa kufikelelwa kusukelo lwawo. Oku kunokuba yindlela yokwenza ubudlelwane buzinze ngakumbi.

Nangona kunjalo, musa ukuthembela ekuphembeleleni omnye umntu njengesisombululo. Ukuba omnye wenu ufuna abantwana kwaye omnye akafuni kwaphela, okanye ukuba omnye wenu ufuna ukuphila njenge-nomad yedijithali kwaye omnye ufuna ukuba nabantwana kwaye omnye ufuna ukuba nabantwana de babe badala kunye neenwele zabo. Ijika ibe ngwevu Ukuba ufuna ukuba selumelwaneni, le isenokungabi yeyakho. Kusenokubakho into ekulungele ngakumbi.

Akwanelanga ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nokusondelana

I-Oxytocin ngamanye amaxesha ibizwa ngokuba yi "hormone yothando" okanye "i-agent ye-cuddle." Xa sangana, sibambana, sincamisa, okanye sibonisa uthando kwabanye, imizimba yethu ikhupha ihomoni ebizwa ngokuba yioxytocin. Ukonyuka kwe-oxytocin kukwanxulunyaniswa namanqanaba asezantsi oxinzelelo kunye neemvakalelo zokuba sempilweni.

Ubudlelwane buhlala buba bubi xa izibini zingabambani kancinci kwaye oku kungabikho kokuthintana kwenziwa mandundu ngenxa yeendlela ezingasondelene kakhulu zokunxibelelana.

Ubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha bunokuba nzima ukuba iqabane lakho alinamdla wesondo. Ukungavisisani kwiminqweno yesini, kunye nabanye oothunywashe, kunokulonakalisa ulwalamano yaye ekugqibeleni kufak’ isandla ekwahlukaneni.

Ukwabelana ngesondo kubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane. Ngokophando lwakutsha nje, umntu omdala ulalana kanye ngeveki. Zininzi iingenelo zokwabelana ngesondo ngakumbi. Oku kuquka iingenelo ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasengqondweni nasemzimbeni.

Yintoni eyenza ubudlelwane buhlale?

Unjingalwazi onxulumene naye uhlalutye ngaphezu kwe-1,100 yezifundo zothando. Ngokwenza oko, sichonge izicwangciso-qhinga ezakhayo eziza kuba negalelo ekuzinziseni ubuhlakani.

Wafumanisa into enye egcina izibini ziqhawula kwaye luphawu lobudlelwane obukhulu: amaqabane axabisa amaqabane awo kwindawo yokuqala. Kobu budlelwane, amaqabane ajongana neengxabano ngokufanelekileyo kwaye athathele ingqalelo izinto ezizuzisa iqabane labo. Kubudlelwane obunganelisiyo, okuchaseneyo kuyinyaniso.

ukuququmbela

Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba ubudlelwane bungahlali ixesha elide. Kodwa oyena nobangela wokuwohloka kwayo yimibandela yokuthembana, unxibelelwano, imbeko, izinto eziza kuqala, nolwalamano olusenyongweni. Ewe, akukho budlelwane bugqibeleleyo, kodwa ukuba uziva ngathi uva intlungu engaphezulu kunokulunga, kusenokuba lixesha lokuphinda uphonononge ubudlelwane bakho. Ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho nifuna ukwenza ubudlelwane benu busebenze, cinga ngokuqhagamshelana nogqirha wezibini ukuze ufumane inkxaso eyongezelelweyo.