Umba kunye nemicimbi yothando engqonge ukuncamisana: Umcimbi ngokuncamisa nje! ?

Ukrexezo luqala phi? Kubonakala ngathi kukho ukungafani okukhulu komntu ngamnye kule mbono. Ngokutsho kwenkcazo yomthetho "yokukrexeza," isenzo "sokuba nobudlelwane bomzimba ngokuzithandela kwakho nomntu wesini esahlukileyo ngaphandle kweqabane lakho," kuthathwa ngokucacileyo ukukrexeza. Noko ke, ukuba umntu otshatileyo uyaqhubeka enolwalamano ngaphandle kokuba neentlobano zesini nomnye umntu wesini esahlukileyo, ngaba oko kusenokugqalwa “njengokukrexeza”?

Umzekelo, ukuba ugcina ubudlelwane obubandakanya ukwanga kuphela, ngaba oko kuthathwa "kukungathembeki" okanye "ukungathembeki"?

``Ukuphuzana'' okupheleleyo apho imilebe ibambana yaziwa lihlabathi njengembonakaliso yothando phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, okanye njengophawu lothando. Kumazwe anjengeFransi, amadoda namabhinqa adla ngokubulisa ngokuncamisana kubomi bemihla ngemihla, kodwa kubantu baseJapan, ukuncamisana akuyondlela ilula yokubonisa ubuhlobo.

Ngoko ke, ukwanga ngoku kusetyenziswa njengomqondiso wobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Kuqhelekile ukuba abantu ababini abaphuzana baqalise ukuthandana, yaye kubantu ababini abathandanayo basebenzise ukuncamisana njengembonakaliso yothando esuka entliziyweni.

Ngoko, siyintoni isenzo sokuncamisa umntu wesini esahlukileyo ongeloqabane lakho nangona utshatile? Ngokwembono yabantu abajikelezileyo, kuyacaca ukuba le "yinto engaphandle komtshato," kodwa kukho nombono wokuthi "ukuba ubudlelwane bubandakanya ukumanga kuphela, akusikho ukukopela, kungabikho ukungathembeki."

Izizathu zokuba usancamisa umntu wesini esahlukileyo nangona utshatile

Kutheni uncamisa umntu ongenguye iqabane lakho? Ingakumbi ukuba omnye umntu naye utshatile, kulula ukucinga ukuba uyaqhatha. Iyamangalisa ngokwenene, akunjalo? Apha, siza kuhlalutya ipsychology yabantu abaziphatha ngolu hlobo lungenangqiqo.

1. Yiba namava okuvuselela ngokuncamisa umntu wesini esahlukileyo

Wakuba ukuqhela ukuncamisa iqabane lakho, kuvakala bubudenge ukuncamisa yonke imihla, ngoko abanye abantu bafuna ukuvuselela inkqubo yabo ekruqulayo ngokuphuza abanye abantu besini esahlukileyo. Nangona kukhaphukhaphu, ukuncamisana yindlela elula yokukhupha isithukuthezi, ngoko ke ukuba ukwitheko lokusela, isithandwa sakho sinokugqibela ngokuncamisa umntu wesini esahlukileyo asithandayo kuba sinxilile. Ukuba nobabini niba nemincili, kukho umngcipheko wokuba ubudlelwane buya kukhula bube ngumcimbi.

2. Ukubonakaliswa kweemvakalelo zothando ezingalawulekiyo

Kukho ithuba lokuba isithandwa sakho sifune ukubonisa uthando lwaso ngokukuncamisa kuba ethanda omnye umntu. Ekubeni etshatile, ukuba akakwazi ukuchaza indlela avakalelwa ngayo okanye ukuya kuthandana, usenokusebenzisa isenzo esisenyongweni sokuncamisa ukubonisa ukuba unomdla kuye kwaye ``ammemele ukuba neqabane.''

3. Ndifuna ngokwenene ukulala neqabane lam.

Abanye abantu bahlakulela umkhwa wokukhangela umntu oza kuthandana naye xa benomdla, kwaye emva kokudlala kunye, ukumanga omnye umntu kunye nokufuna ukuthandana. Ngokwembono yengqondo, bacinga ukuba ngumdlalo nje, ngoko abayithathi ngokungathí sina, kodwa ihamba ngaphandle kokuthi ukuba nobudlelwane bomzimba nomntu ongenguye iqabane lakho ngokuthanda kwakho sisenzo sokukrexeza.

Emva koko, uthando kunye nesondo zidla ngokuqala ngokumanga. Ukuba umthandi uphuza omnye umntu wesini esahlukileyo ngokuthanda kwakhe, kukho ithuba eliphezulu lokuba unobudlelwane okanye umnqweno wokuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obungaphandle komtshato kunye nomnye umntu. Nceda ulumke ungakrexezi.

Yintoni enokuyenza xa umthandi otshatileyo ephuza umntu wesini esahlukileyo

Ukuba ungqina ukwanga okuluphawu lokungathembeki, jonga ukuba ukwanga luphawu lokungathembeki. Kukwayimfuneko ukwahlula phakathi ``kokungathembeki kokwenyani okubandakanya ubudlelwane bomzimba'' kunye ``nokungathembeki okubandakanya ukwanga kuphela ukuphepha izohlwayo ezisemthethweni.''

1. Lumkela umntu othandana naye oqale ngokuncanyiswa

Ukuncamisana luphawu lokuba kukho iimvakalelo zokungathembeki, ngoko ukuba ukrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho alithembekanga, kutheni ungaqalisi ukuphanda umcimbi? Xa kuziwa kuphando lokukopela, ixesha elininzi baqala ukuqokelela ubungqina bokukopela kwii-smartphones kunye neekhompyuter. Noko ke, kusenokwenzeka ukuba aba bantu babini bathandanayo bakwazi ukuyonwabela loo nto ekhaya okanye emotweni, ngoko kububulumko ukuhlolisisa yonke indawo ukuze ungalibali. Ukuba ufumana ubungqina obuqinileyo bokungathembeki ngophando, ungangqina ngokusemthethweni ubudlelwane phakathi kwaba babini ``njengokukrexeza'' kwaye ufake ibango lembuyekezo.

Mbini. Ukuncamisa kukodwa akuthethi "ukungathembeki"

Nangona kunjalo, ubungqina obubambekayo bokuqhatha buyafuneka ukuze kufunyanwe ``ukungathembeki.'' Izenzo ezinjengokuncamisa kunye nokwenza i-push-ups zithathwa ``ukrexezo'' emehlweni oluntu, kodwa azikaqinisekisi ngokwaneleyo njengobungqina ``bokungathembeki'' phantsi komthetho. Ukutya kunye okanye ukunxibelelana akubonisi ukungathembeki. Ngesi sizathu, ukuba omnye umntu ubandakanyeka kubudlelwane obubandakanya ukuncamisana kuphela, kunzima ukukungqina oko ``njengokungathembeki.''

Ukuze ungqine ``ukrexezo'', udinga ubuncinci into enokuthatyathelwa ukuba ``abantu ababini babenobudlelwane bomzimba ngokuthanda kwabo.'' Nangona kunzima ukufumana iifoto zomcimbi kwindawo yomcimbi okanye ubungqina obungqina ukuba ngubani owangena kwaye waphuma kwihotele yothando, kunokuba luncedo kwilingo lokungathembeki. Kakade ke, iifoto okanye iividiyo zokuncamisa nje okanye ukutyhalana nazo zinokungeniswa njengobungqina bokuthandana, njengoko zibonisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo phakathi kwabo babini.

3. ``Ukukrexeza ngokwasengqondweni'' ukubaleka ``ukrexezo olusemthethweni''

Ukuba abantu ababini abaye bathandana banobudlelwane bomzimba, kulula ukuba babe nzulu malunga nalo mcimbi, kwaye kukho amathuba okuba ubudlelwane buya kudilika ngenxa yecala kunye nokuzonda ngokuthandana, nto leyo eyenziwa mandundu. isini. Ukuba abantu abakungqongileyo bafumanisa ngobudlelwane bakho bezesondo, oko kuya kuba nefuthe elibi kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, kwaye kukho umngcipheko wokuba uya kubonwa ``njengokukrexeza'' kwaye umntu obandakanyekayo kubudlelwane kuya kufuneka ahlawule. imbuyekezo. Iindleko zokungathembeki ziyoyikeka kunokuba unokucinga, ngoko izibini ezingathembekanga ziye zaza neendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo zokubalekela isohlwayo.

Kule mihla, inani labantu abenza ``ukukrexeza ngokwasengqondweni'' lisanda ngokuthe ngcembe kuba abafuni ukuba imicimbi yabo ixoxwe phambi koluntu. Njengoko ingumcimbi wengqondo kuphela, akukho budlelwane ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye abunakuqondwa ``njengokukrexeza'' phantsi komthetho. ' okanye ``yayingelulo ukrexezo.'' Logama nje nobabini ningabelani ngesondo, ungaya kwimihla kwaye ube neencoko ezilula kunye nokunxibelelana. Isithandwa sinokugcina ``isenzo sokuncamisana kuphela'' neqabane laso, ukwakha ubudlelwane obusenyongweni bokuthandana ngaphandle kokwabelana ngesondo.

Noko ke, ekubeni ``ukungathembeki okubandakanya ukwangiwa kuphela'' kusekelwe kuthando oluguquguqukayo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba iphenjelelwe lulwalamano lothando nomntu omthandayo kunye neembono zabo bakungqongileyo. Ukuba uzama ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho kunye nesithandwa sakho okanye umsole ngenxa yokungathembeki kwakhe, iimvakalelo ezinokudityaniswa kuphela ngokumanga zingaphola kwaye zinyamalale ngokwazo.

4. Nokuba isithandwa sakho asijoli, unokuba nomnqweno wokuthandana.

Nokuba uqinisekile ukuba umthandi wakho akafuni, ayitshintshi into yokuba umthandi wakho ubonise umdla kwisini esahlukileyo ngokumanga. Kusenokungabi ngumnqa ukuba nomnqweno wokuthandana nomntu ongatshatanga naye, kodwa ukuba akukwazi ukunyamezela uze uwufeze loo mnqweno, oko kuya kubangela umonakalo kwabo bakungqongileyo. Ukuze uthintele ukutshatyalaliswa kwentsapho / ubomi bomtshato, kuyimfuneko ukuthatha amanyathelo okuthintela umthandi wakho ekuqhatheni kunye nokuphelisa umnqweno wakhe wokuthandana ngaphandle komtshato.

Ukuba ukhathazeke kakhulu, uya kutshabalalisa ingqondo nomzimba wakho.

Emva kokubona ukwanga komntu othandana naye, abantu abaninzi baqala ukuxhalaba ngeengxaki ezinje, ``Mhlawumbi uthandana nomntu othile?'` ``Ndifanele ndenze ntoni xa endiqhatha?'' Liyinene elithi i-affair iqala ngokuncanyiswa, kodwa ukuba ukhathazeka kakhulu ngayo ngenxa nje yokuncanyiswa, kubi emzimbeni wakho nasengqondweni. Ngaba akubinzima xa ugula ngenxa yexhala kunye noxinzelelo nangona ungabikho? Kwanokuba umcimbi uyenzeka ngokwenene, kufuneka sinyamekele impilo yethu yomzimba kunye nengqondo ukuze sibohlwaye abo babini abenze umcimbi. Ukuphelisa iinkxalabo zakho malunga nokukopela kwaye uqinise ubudlelwane bakho nesithandwa sakho ukuphepha ukukopela.