Ukukopela kunokunyangeka! Indlela yokunyanga isithandwa sakho ukuziphatha ukukopela

Abantu badla ngokuthi ukukopa sisifo esinganyangekiyo, kodwa abanye abantu bacinga ukuba bubuxoki obu. Kukho abantu abaninzi abajongene nemikhwa yokuqhatha iqabane labo, ngoko ke ukukopela ngokuqinisekileyo akuyongxaki enokusonjululwa ngokulula.

Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukunyanga isithandwa sakho sokukopela, kufuneka uqale ulungiselele ukuba ``ukuqhatha akukho lula ukunyangeka.'' Isizathu kukuba nangona umthandi ngokwakhe engafuni ukuphinda aqhube umcimbi, unokuziva edangele ngenxa yokuba uvakalelwa ngokunzulu. Nokuba ufuna kangakanani na ukunyanga umkhuba wokuqhatha umntu omthandayo, ``sisifo'' esinganyangekiyo lula nangumqhathi ngokwakhe, ngoko ke, njengalowo uqhathiweyo, kuyimfuneko kakhulu ukuba yenza umgudu omkhulu wokunyanga esi sifo .

Kwakhona, qaphela ukuba ``abantu abaninzi abakhe baqhatha baphinde baqhathe, kwaye kuphela linani elincinane labantu abalulamayo kumkhwa wokukopa.'' Indlela efanelekileyo yokujongana nokukhohlisa kukuthintela ukukopela kokuqala kunye nokuthintela ukukopela kwixesha elizayo. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zama ukuthintela umthandi wakho ukuba angakhohlisi, kwaye uzame ukumnqanda ukuba angakhohlisi kwakanye, kwaye nokuba uye wakhohlisa kuwe, zama ukuthintela ukuba kungenzeki kwakhona.

Nangona kunjalo, nokuba isithandwa sakho singathembekanga, unganikezeli kwaye uzame ukunyanga ukungathembeki kweqabane lakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Nceda ukholelwe ukuba uthando oluphakathi kwenu nobabini alunokoyiswa kukuqhatha. Ukukunceda, siza kukwazisa oonobangela bobuqhetseba kunye nezinye iindlela ekufanele uzame.

oonobangela bokuqhatha

Ukungaziva unetyala ngokwaneleyo malunga nokuqhatha

Abantu abaqhatha ngokuphindaphindiweyo abayiqondi ingqiqo yokuba abafanele baqhathe okanye ukuba ukukopa kusisono. Okanye, abanye abantu bacinga ukuba ukukopela kubi, kodwa ngenxa yokuba isithandwa sabo sibaxolela ngoko nangoko, bacinga ukuba akukho nto inkulu. Ukuba awuziphathi kakuhle xa umntu ekopela kuwe, umthandi wakho usenokungaziva enetyala ngokuziphatha kwakhe okanye angacingi ukuba oko akwenzayo kukukopela. Ekugqibeleni, umthandi wakho uya kubamba utyekelo lwakho lokukopela kwaye aqale ukukopela kuwe.

Awulungelanga uthando okanye umtshato

Njengoko isibini siqhubela phambili ukusuka kubomi obubodwa ukuya kubomi bothando / bomtshato kunye nabantu ababini, umthandi unokuziva ngathi ulahlekelwe inkululeko yakhe, kwaye unokufuna ukubuyela kubomi obubodwa apho babekhululekile ukuba baphile ubomi babo. Ngoko ke, ukuba baziva bebotshiwe kwisithandwa sabo, banokukopela amaxesha amaninzi, basebenzise njengendlela yokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokuzikhulula kwimixokelelwane yesithandwa sabo.

Ubudlelwane bam nomntu endimthandayo buzinzile.

Ukuba abantu ababini banandipha uthando olunzulu ekuqaleni, kodwa iimvakalelo zabo ziyancipha ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye ubudlelwane babo buzinzile, oku kunokuba yindawo apho umthandi aqala ukukopela ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Kungenzeka ukuba umthandi wakho akakuthandi ngokwaneleyo kwaye ukhetha "ubushushu bothando" xa enawe. Ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kwenu nobabini buzinzile kwaye ufumene uthando, uya kuba neemvakalelo kuwe, kodwa isithandwa sakho siya kufumana ubushushu bothando ngokuphindaphindiweyo kuba naye ufuna uthando olunomdla kungenzeka ukuba uya kukopa ngokuphindaphindiweyo.

Ukukopa sele kungumkhwa

Abantu abangakhange baqhathe ababuqondi ubumnandi bokukopa, ngoko ke abaqhathi ngokwabo. Noko ke, ukuba ubukhe waqhathwa ngaphambili, uye wakuva umtsalane wokukopa, ngoko nokuba uziva umbi, kulula ukunikezela kwisilingo uze uqhubeke nokuqhatha. Ekugqibeleni, ukukopela kuba ngumkhwa kwaye nokuba ufuna, kuya kuba nzima ukukulahla.

Indlela yokunyanga ukukopela

Izisombululo ziyahluka ngokuxhomekeke kwisizathu sokungathembeki. Qonda ukuba kutheni umthandi wakho ekopela, kwaye emva koko uthathe amanyathelo afanelekileyo ukunyanga.

yenza umntu azive enetyala ngokukopela

Abantu abangaziva benetyala ngokukopa abanakukwazi ukukopa nje kuphela, kodwa nokuba bafumanise ukuba bayakopa, baya kuthethelela isimilo sabo ngokuthetha izinto ezinje, ``Ukukopa lisiko!' ``Amadoda nabafazi zizidalwa eziqhathayo!'' Dlulisa ubuzaza bokuqhatha kwisithandwa esinjalo ngamagama anjengathi ``Ukukopa sisono esibi,'` `Ukukopa yeyona nto imbi yokwenza,'` ``Andifuni kuqhathwa,'' kwaye ``Umbi ngokwenza into enjalo,'' kwaye wenze iqabane lakho lizive linetyala ngokukopa Kuyimfuneko ukuba .

Bonisa uthando ngokukhutheleyo

Ukuba isithandwa sakho siyakuqhatha ngenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zakho zipholile, zama ukutshintsha isimo sakho sengqondo malunga nothando kwaye ubonise uthando lwakho ngokukhutheleyo kunangaphambili ukuze uzuze intliziyo yesithandwa sakho. Yintoni le isithandwa sakho ebesifuna kakhulu kubudlelwane? Nceda ucinge ngayo. Amava anika umdla nangaqhelekanga? Umthandi onomtsalane? Okanye ngaba uthando lwakho/ubomi bomtshato bonwabile kunobomi bakho obungatshatanga? Ukuba uqikelele iminqweno lover yakho uze ukwanelisa kubo, umthandi wakho akayi kufuneka ukwanelisa ngokwakhe ngokukopela, kwaye uya ngokwemvelo ukulahla utyekelo yakhe ukukopela.

Guqula isimo sakho sengqondo xa uqhathwa

Abanye abantu bayawathanda amaqabane abo, ngoko kubuhlungu ukuba baye bawaqhatha, kodwa baxolela ngoko nangoko. Nangona kunjalo, isimo sengqondo esinobubele kunye nokunyamezela siya kukhuthaza umthandi wakho ukuba akhohlise, ngoko ke ukuba ukhohliwe, kungcono ukuba ubuncinane utshintshe isimo sakho sengqondo ukuze ubonise ukunganeliseki kunye nentlungu yakho. Ukuba umthandi wakho uphathwa ngokubandayo nguwe, kukho ithuba lokuba uya kubonakalisa indlela yakhe yokukopela kwaye ayisebenzise njengethuba lokuzama ukunyanga ukuziphatha kwakhe.

xela ixabiso lokukopela

Abanye abantu bathe phithi kukukopa kangangokuba abayiqondi isohlwayo sentlalontle nxamnye nokuqhatha. Ngelo xesha, mvumele omnye umntu acinge ngexabiso lokuqhatha ngokumxelela ixabiso afanele alihlawule. Nokuba isithandwa sakho siyayihoya indlela oziva ngayo kwaye siyawonwabela umcimbi, ukuba utyhila isimilo sakho sokuqhatha kwabo bakungqongileyo, isithandwa sakho sinokuthi sigxekwe ngokuqatha kwaye sigwetywe ngenxa yokuqhatha / ukungathembeki. Oku kuya kukunceda ufumane isandla esiphezulu kwingxoxo malunga nokukopela nesithandwa sakho, ubenze bacinge ngendlela abaziphatha ngayo, kwaye ubancede baphilise kwiindlela zabo zokukhohlisa.

Ukumisela imida ngenxa yoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukwahlukana

``Nokuba uyakopa, kulungile kuba iqabane lakho liya kukuxolela!'' Abanye abantu ababuqondi ubungozi bokukopa kuba isoka okanye intombi abayithandayo iya kuba secaleni kwabo. Ukuze wenze iqabane lakho liqonde indlela obaluleke ngayo, misela imida ngoqhawulo-mtshato okanye ngokwahlukana! Ukuba uthi, ``Ukuba uyandiqhatha kwakhona, ndohlukana nawe!'', isithandwa sakho sinokuqalisa ukuphilisa umkhwa waso wokukopela kuba siyakukhumbula kwaye asikuvumeli ukuba uhambe. Kwakhona kububulumko ukusebenzisa oku njengethuba lokuthintela ukukopa kungenzeki kwakhona ngokumisela imithetho nokulungisa omnye umntu.

Andikwazi ukwahlukana nomkhwa wam wokukopa

Ukuba awukwazi ukunyanga ngokupheleleyo indlela yokuqhatha yesithandwa sakho, ungakhetha ``Qhubeka nonyango'' kwaye uqhubeke ukuyinyanga, okanye ungakhetha ``Yiyeke injalo'' kwaye ube ngumntu omkhulu ngokwaneleyo ukuba anganyamezela. ngokukopela isithandwa sakho kulungile.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba awunathemba ngokwenene kubudlelwane bakho bothando ngoku kwaye awufuni ukuba kunye nesithandwa sakho kwakhona, ungalibali ukuba ``ukwahlukana'' okanye ``uqhawulo-mtshato'' ikwayinto onokuyikhetha. Esinye isicombululo kukwahlukana nomntu oqhathayo uze unandiphe ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomntu ongakwenziyo oko.