Indlela yokujongana nomntu onexhala

Ukuba ekugqibeleni uthandana nomntu onexhala, kungokwemvelo ukuziva uxhalabile. Ukubona omnye umntu exhalabile kunokukwenza uzive ukhathazekile kwaye unxunguphele, nokuba ungazixhalabisi ngokwakho.

Usenokuba nexhala malunga nekamva lobudlelwane benu. Ixhala leqabane lakho libuchaphazela njani ubomi benu bemihla ngemihla kunye? Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa uqala ukuba nexhala elijikelezayo okanye ukuphakuzela? Ngaba uyakwazi ukuyiphatha?

Makhe sijonge kwi-ins kunye nokuphuma kokuthandana nomntu oxhalabileyo, kuquka oko kufuneka ukwazi malunga nokuphazamiseka kwexhala, ukuba luchaphazela njani ubudlelwane bakho obusondeleyo, kunye nendlela yokuxhasa umntu oxhalabileyo.

Thatha ixesha lokufunda malunga nokuphazamiseka kokuxhalaba

Ukuba uthandana nomntu onexhala, enye yezona zinto zilula kwaye zinika inkxaso kukufunda kancinci malunga nexhala kunye nokuphazamiseka kokuxhalaba.

Uninzi lwethu lunoluvo lokuba into esiyixhalabileyo inokungahambelani nenyani, kuyanceda ukuyicacisa loo nto. Ukuqonda ixhala kukwenza ube novelwano ngakumbi.

Ukuxhaphaka

Okokuqala, kulungile ukwazi ukuba ukuxhalaba kuxhaphake kakhulu kwaye phantse wonke umntu uya kuba nengxaki yokuxhalaba ngexesha elithile ebomini babo.

Iziko leSizwe leMpilo yengqondo liqikelela ukuba i-19% yabantu abadala baye bafumana ingxaki yokuxhalaba kunyaka odlulileyo kwaye i-31% yabantu abadala baya kuba neengxaki zokukhathazeka ngexesha lokuphila kwabo. Ngaphezu koko, kuthiwa ukuxhalaba kuxhaphake kakhulu kumabhinqa kunamadoda.

Ukuba nengxaki yokuxhalaba akubobuthathaka, kwaye akubangelwa kukukhetha kakubi. Ixhala asingombandela nje wentelekelelo yakho.

Abantu abaxhalabileyo badla ngokuba nemfuza, kwaye iingxaki zonxunguphalo zihlala ziqhuba kwiintsapho. Imiba yokusingqongileyo kunye nokungalingani kweekhemikhali nako kunokudlala indima.

iimpawu

Ixhala lizibonakalisa ngokwahlukileyo kumntu ngamnye. Ayinguye wonke umntu onengxaki yokuxhalaba othathwa njengomntu "owothusayo". Abanye abantu abanexhala banokubonakala bezolile ngaphandle, kodwa ngaphakathi baziva iimpawu ezininzi.

Kwabanye abantu, ukuxhalaba kunokwenza ubomi bemihla ngemihla bube nzima kakhulu, ngelixa abanye behlala nohlobo oluphezulu lokuxhalaba.

Iimpawu zokuxhalaba zinokuba ngumzimba, engqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokuxhalaba ziquka:

• ukubetha kwentliziyo ngokukhawuleza
• Ubunzima bokuphefumla
• Ukubila
• isicaphucaphu
• Ndinesisu esibi
• uxinzelelo lwemisipha
• Iingcinga kugqatso
• ukuphakuzela okanye uvakalelo lwentshabalalo ezayo
• Iiflashbacks zamava abuhlungu okanye anzima
• ukuphuthelwa
• iphupha elibi
• Andikwazi ukuhlala ndithule
• ukuthabatheka kunye nokunyanzeliswa

iintlobo zonxunguphalo

Kukwalungile ukwazi ukuba kukho iintlobo ezininzi zokuphazamiseka kokuxhalaba. Ngokomzekelo, ayingabo bonke abantu abanexhala abaza kuba nohlaselo loloyiko. Ukongezelela, abanye abantu abaneengxaki zokuxhalaba banobunzima bokuhlalisana, ngelixa abanye bengenalo. Konke kuxhomekeke kuluphi uhlobo lwengxaki yokukhathazeka onayo kunye nendlela ohlangabezana ngayo nayo.

Yeyona ngxaki ixhaphakileyo yokuxhalaba.

• ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka ngokubanzi
• ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo
• ukoyika (phobia)
• I-Agoraphobia
• ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka kokwahlukana

Indlela yokuxhasa iqabane lakho ngexhala

Ukuba usondelelene nomntu onengxaki yokuxhalaba, unokuziva ungayazi into omawuyenze. Bayazi ukuba amaxesha amaninzi into abajongene nayo ayinangqiqo kwaye imbono yabo yangoku yenyaniso ayinakuchaneka ngokupheleleyo. Undixelela lento? Unokwenza njani omnye umntu azive engcono ngaphandle kokunciphisa iimvakalelo zakhe?

Kukho izinto eziphathekayo onokuzenza ukudala "indawo ekhuselekileyo" kubantu abaziva bexhalabile. Nanga amanye amacebiso.

Qonda ukuba awukhubazekanga

Engqondweni yakho kunye nokusebenzisana kwakho nomnye umntu, zama ukucinga ngengxaki yokukhathazeka yomnye umntu njengeyahlukileyo kweyakho. Nangona isenza umbala wobomi, sisiphene, asiyomeko.

Abantu abanengxaki yokuxhalaba bangaphezulu koxinzelelo lwabo, kwaye indlela yovelwano ngakumbi kukubaphatha njengabantu abathi banengxaki yokuxhalaba.

yeka ukugxeka

Ukuxhalaba kunemfuzo, i-biochemical, kunye namacandelo okusingqongileyo, ngoko khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho alizange likhethe ukuvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Kwakhona, ixhala ayisiyiyo into oyamkelayo ukukhohlisa abantu okanye ukonakalisa izicwangciso zakho.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuphazamiseka kokuxhalaba akuyinto onokuyilawula.

Qonda ukuba kukho izinto ezibangelayo

Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokujongana nexhala leqabane lakho kukuqonda izinto ezikubangelayo. Abantu abanexhala bahlala beyazi ukuba kunjani ukuzifumana bekwi-spiral of ixhala.

Ngelixa singenakukhusela kuzo zonke izinto ezibangelayo, kunokuba luncedo ukunceda abantu baphile ngobuntununtunu ngakubo. Unako kwakhona ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ixhala iqabane lakho kwandisa ngamaxesha athile.

Yiba ngumphulaphuli onengqondo ephangaleleyo

Esinye sezona zipho zibalaseleyo unokumpha umntu oxhalabileyo kukuba novelwano nokuphulaphula. Ukulawula iingxaki zonxunguphalo kunokuba yinto yodwa kwaye ithobe.

Ukuba nomntu onokuthi unyaniseke kuye ngamava akho kunye neemvakalelo zakho kunokuba yinto entle kwaye iyaphilisa, ngakumbi ukuba loo mntu umamele ngovelwano kwaye ngaphandle kokugweba.

Njengomphulaphuli, khumbula ukuba kubalulekile ukubakho nje komnye umntu, kunokuba unike iingcebiso, iingcebiso, okanye uzame "ukusombulula" okanye "ukulungisa" into ethile.

Amagama oza kuwasebenzisa xa iqabane lakho liziva lixhalabile

Xa unceda iqabane lakho ukuba lijongane nesiqendu sokuxhalaba, unokuzibuza ukuba ungathini. Ngapha koko, awufuni kuthetha nantoni na eya kwenza omnye umntu akhathazeke ngakumbi.

Nazi ezinye iimbono ngento onokuthi uyithethe ngamaxesha anje.

• "Ndilapha kwaye ndimamele."
• "Ndiyazi ukuba wonwabile."
• "ilungile"
• "Yinto enkulu kuwe ngoku."
• “Ndiyawazi amandla akho”
• "Singahlala kunye?"
• "Ndikhona, awuwedwa"
• “Ikhona into endinokuyenza?”

izinto ongazithethi

Kwelinye icala, kukho amaxesha apho uziva ufuna ukuthetha into engeloncedo kwaphela kwaye eneneni inokwenza omnye umntu akhathazeke ngakumbi.

Apha siza kwazisa ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zezinto ofanele ukuphephe ukuzithetha.

• “Akukho nto yokoyika”
• “Ayinangqondo”
• "Yehlisa umoya!"
• "Ndiyoyika ngaphandle kwesizathu."
• "Yile nto bendiya kuyenza ukuba bendinguwe..."
• “Le nto uyivayo ayikho ngqiqweni”
• "Yonke into isentloko yakho."

Indlela yokusebenza

Uphando luveze ikhonkco phakathi kokuphazamiseka kokuxhalaba kunye noxinzelelo oluphezulu lobudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, uphando lukwabonisa ukuba ukulawula ixhala ngonxibelelwano kunye nenkxaso kunokuba luncedo olukhulu.

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukujongana nokuxhalaba kweqabane lakho asiyonto onokuyenza wedwa. Ukuba nenkxaso yempilo yengqondo kwiqabane lakho kunye nawe kunokuba luncedo kakhulu.

Khuthaza iqabane lakho ukuba lifumane uncedo

Ukuba ixhala leqabane lakho alichaphazeli nje kuphela ubudlelwane bakho kodwa ubomi babo, unokucinga ukubakhuthaza ukuba bafumane uncedo. Ndifuna ukuyicwangcisa ngobubele kangangoko ndinako ukuze ndibe novelwano ngayo.

Ufuna iqabane lakho lazi ukuba akufuneki ukuba "lilungiswe," kodwa kunokuba ukufumana uncedo kunokuxhobisa kwaye kube kuhle.

Olona nyango lusebenzayo lwexhala lunyango kunye namayeza. Nangona unyango lulodwa lusebenza kwabanye abantu, indibaniselwano yonyango kunye namayeza idla ngokusebenza kakhulu.

Olona nyango luqhelekileyo lusetyenziselwa ukunyanga ixhala lunyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT) kunye nonyango lokuvezwa. Amayeza asetyenziselwa ukunyanga ixhala aquka i-anxiolytics efana ne-benzodiazepines, i-antidepressants (SSRIs), kunye ne-beta-blockers.

Hlela iimvakalelo zakho malunga nokuxhalaba kweqabane lakho

Ukujongana nomntu onengxaki yokuxhalaba kunokuba nzima, kwaye banokusabela ngobundlobongela kwinto eyenzekayo kubo. Oku kuqhelekile kwaye kuyaqondakala. Kubalulekile ukuthatha ixesha lokuziqhelanisa nokuzikhathalela kunye novelwano.

Ukuba ufumanisa kunzima ukumelana okanye ukusabela okungenancedo kwixhala leqabane lakho, unokufuna ukucinga ngokucetyiswa okanye unyango.

Qwalasela unyango lweqela

Unxibelelwano lungundoqo xa usebudlelwaneni nomntu onengxaki yokuxhalaba. Ngamanye amaxesha uncedo lwangaphandle lunokufuneka ukusombulula imiba yonxibelelwano.

Kule meko, unyango lweqela kunye neengcebiso zingasebenza. Wena kunye nomnye umntu uya kuvuleka ngakumbi kwaye uqonde, kwaye uya kufunda iindlela zokunxibelelana ezisebenzayo.

ukuququmbela

Abanye abona bantu banobuchule bokudala, abanovelwano nabanothando banengxaki yokuxhalaba, kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba uya kuthandana nomntu onengxaki yokuxhalaba ngaxa lithile ebomini bakho. Kunokuba nzima ukuhamba ngobudlelwane nomntu oxhalabileyo, kodwa umvuzo unokuba mkhulu xa wenza umzamo.

Enyanisweni, ukuqonda umntu onenkxalabo kunye nokufunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo kunokuqinisa ubudlelwane phakathi kwenu nobabini kunye nokudala ubudlelwane obugcweleyo, obusondeleyo. Ungavumeli ingxaki yakho yokuxhalaba ikuyekise ukulandela ubudlelwane obuthembisayo.