Ngaba unokuchacha ngokwenene emva kokufelwa ngumntu omthandayo?

Ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumntu omthandayo, mhlawumbi sele uyazi ukuba ukulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo, okungalindelekanga okanye okulindelekileyo, kunokuzisa iimvakalelo kunye neengcamango ezininzi.

Kwanaxa usentlungwini, khumbula ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zifanelekile kwaye awukho kuluhlu lwexesha lomnye umntu xa kufikelelwa ekuphiliseni.

Eli nqaku lithetha ngendlela abantu abahlangabezana ngayo nemiphumo yelahleko yexesha elifutshane neyexesha elide. Ikwachaphazela indlela yokujongana neenkumbulo ezingakhiyo kunye neemvakalelo zokuziva unetyala.

Indlela Yokuhlangabezana Kwakamsinyane Emva Kwelahleko

Kwinkcubeko yanamhlanje, kukho uxinzelelo lokuqhubela phambili ngokukhawuleza kwaye ululame emva kokulahlekelwa yilahleko. Yiyo loo nto egxininisa ukuba ukuphumelela umntu akufanele kube yinjongo yakho kuphela.

Ungalibali ukuzicingela

Umvandedwa uthatha ixesha ukuze uphole, ngoko khawukhawulezise uze ube nomonde nobubele.

ukuva iintlobo ngeentlobo zeemvakalelo

Kunokuba ucacise amanqanaba entlungu nokuzama ukungxama ukutyhubela kuwo, ukubambelela kwiimbono zangaphambili ngendlela amanqanaba akhangeleka ngayo kunokuba yingozi, ingakumbi kwabo bavakalelwa kukuba asingowabo amava.” Uphando luye lwatyhila into enye.

La ngamava aqhelekileyo kubantu abajongene nelahleko: ukufumana uthando oluthululwayo kunye nenkxaso ngokukhawuleza emva kwelahleko, kulandelwa yimvakalelo yokuzahlula njengoko wonke umntu ezama ukubuyelana.

Khumbula ukuba ukuphilisa kuthatha ixesha

Kulula ukuziva ngathi kufuneka uqhubeke, kodwa kulungile ukuthatha ixesha lokuba buhlungu. Kuthatha ixesha ukucwangcisa zonke iimvakalelo eziza nelahleko, ngoko ke ndikulungele ukuthatha ixesha elininzi njengoko ndifuna.

Ubonisa ukuba xa abathengi bevakalisa umnqweno "wokudlula iimvakalelo zabo zosizi," bahlala bekhunjuzwa ukuba "lixesha elifutshane kuphela." “Ukuhamba kwexesha kubalulekile xa ujongene nentlungu nelahleko,” utshilo.

Indlela yokujongana nayo emva kwexeshana

Siphinde saxoxa ngendlela abanceda ngayo abathengi baphile ixesha elide emva kokulahlekelwa.

Yamkela Iinkumbulo

Ngokuqhelekileyo kucetyiswa ukuba wamkele iinkumbulo kunye namaphupha ahlala efika, nokuba ixesha lidlulile.

“Abantu abahlala becinga ngalo mntu okanye baphinde badlale ngeenkumbulo nangeemeko ezinxulumene nabo babathandayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo badla ngokuba yinxalenye yabo bezama ukugcina ezo nkumbulo ziphila.”

Oku kuthetha ukuba ingqondo izama ukugcina inkumbulo yomntu iphila. Oku kunokuvakalelwa kukuba awukwazi ukudlula into ethile, kodwa inokuba yintliziyo yakho ezama ukubambelela kwinkumbulo ekukuzisele uvuyo.

Ukuba ingqondo yakho ihlala idlala into ethile, oko kusenokuthetha ukuba yinkumbulo ebalulekileyo ukuba uphole.

Musa ukuzifihla iimvakalelo zakho

Ukugxila kwindlela oziva ngayo ngeli xesha langoku kuyakhuthazwa kwaye kaninzi kukhokelela ekuphiliseni. Xa oku kusebenza, uhlala uzive uqinisekisiwe ngakumbi ukuba uyamkele ngokwenene le nto uyivayo.

ukufumana intsingiselo kwilahleko

Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantu abaninzi bafika kwindawo yokuphiliswa emva kokuziva ngathi bafumene intsingiselo kunye nomxholo ekulahlekeni kwabo. Oku kunjalo ngakumbi xa iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo zinokubakho ngaxeshanye, oko kukuthi, xa ubani enokwamkela usizi aze abambelele kwintsingiselo kulwalamano. Ngokwenjenjalo, abantu banokuzilawula ngakumbi iimvakalelo zabo.

Khumbula ukuba iinkumbulo ezimbi ziqhelekile.

Xa ulahlekelwe ngumntu omthandayo, kunokuba nzima ngakumbi ukuba uziva ngathi awukwazanga ukwenza uxolo kunye nabo ngenxa yemicimbi yobuqu. Kuqhelekile ukuba uqhubeke uphinda wenze zonke izinto obunokuthi uzenze ukunika inkxaso yengqondo, imvakalelo kunye nomzimba.

Nangona ezi zinto zisengqiqweni, akumangalisi ukuba ukuphilisa kuba nzima.

Iinkumbulo ezingafanelekanga neemvakalelo zokuziva unetyala zikwayinxalenye eqhelekileyo yenkqubo yokuba buhlungu.

Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuchacha kwintlungu yokufelwa?

Ukufumana intsingiselo emva kokulahlekelwa kusoloko kuthethwa ngako, kodwa kunokuba nzima ukwazi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini kanye oko.

Ukuze bafumanise oko, abaphandi balandela abantu abafelweyo baza bangena kubo ngoko nangoko, unyaka omnye, iinyanga ezili-13 neenyanga ezili-18 emva kokuphulukana nabo.

Kule sifundo, intsingiselo yachazwa ngokuthi "ukukwazi ukufumana intsingiselo kwisiganeko ngokwawo kunye nokufumana inzuzo kumava." Ngethuba lonyaka wokuqala, kwakubalulekile ukuqonda ilahleko kwaye yaphela ingenaxinzelelo oluncinci. Nangona kunjalo, ukufumana inzuzo kwakubaluleke ngakumbi ekumiseleni ukukwazi komntu ixesha elide ukuziqhelanisa.

Oku kuxhasa uluvo lokuba ukukwazi ukufumana intsingiselo ngelixa uziva ulusizi kunye nezinye iimvakalelo kubalulekile ekufikeni kwindawo yokuphiliswa.

Olona hlobo lokushukuma ofuna ukulwenza luya kwahluka kumntu nomntu. Kuthetha ukungacingi ngomthandayo umzuzu ngamnye wemihla ngemihla, okanye ufumane intuthuzelo kwiinkumbulo zomthandayo.

Uhlobo lomonakalo lubalulekile

Ukukwazi komntu ukuphilisa kukwaxhomekeke ekubeni ilahleko ibilindelwe okanye ngequbuliso. Uphononongo lubonise ukuba ilahleko ngequbuliso inokubangela i-PTSD kwizalamane ezisondeleyo, ngoko unokufuna ukuqwalasela unyango lweqela. Iintsapho ezijamelene nesigulo sexesha elide zidla ngokujamelana nemvakalelo yokungabi nakuzinceda, eyona nto ibotshelelwa ngokuyintloko kumnqweno wazo wokunceda lowo zimthandayo ngoxa esaphila.

ukuququmbela

Nokuba imeko ithini na, kubalulekile ukubeka phambili impilo yakho yengqondo. Ukuphilisa akukhe kube lula kwaye kunokuziva ungakhululekanga. Kuphephe ukuthelekisa uhambo lwakho lokuphilisa komnye umntu okanye indlela abahlangabezana ngayo.

Ukuze ukwazi ukuziphilisa ngesantya osidingayo. Kwaye ungaziva unetyala ngokufuna uncedo kwingcali yempilo yengqondo, umhlobo, okanye othandekayo.