Kodi kugwirizana kwa mantha ndi chiyani?

Kugwirizana mwamantha ndi imodzi mwa masitaelo anayi omangika akuluakulu. Anthu omwe ali ndi kalembedwe kotetezedwa kotereku amakhala ndi chikhumbo champhamvu cha maubwenzi apamtima, koma sakhulupirira ena komanso amawopa kukhala pachibwenzi.

Chotsatira chake, anthu omwe ali ndi chiyanjano chopewa mantha amakonda kupewa maubwenzi omwe amawafuna.

Nkhaniyi ikuwunikiranso mbiri ya chiphunzitso cholumikizira, ikufotokoza masitayelo anayi olumikizira akuluakulu, ndikufotokozera momwe kulumikizana kowopsa kumayambira. Ikufotokozanso momwe kusagwirizana ndi mantha kumakhudzira anthu ndikukambirana momwe anthu angathanirane ndi kalembedwe kameneka.

Mbiri ya chiphunzitso cha attachment

Katswiri wa zamaganizo John Bowlby adafalitsa chiphunzitso chake chogwirizana mu 1969 kuti afotokoze mgwirizano umene makanda ndi ana aang'ono amapanga ndi owasamalira. Iye ananena kuti pokhala olabadira, olera angathandize ana kukhala osungika, ndipo chifukwa cha zimenezi, angathe kufufuza dziko molimba mtima.
M'zaka za m'ma 1970, mnzake wa Bowlby a Mary Ainsworth adakulitsa malingaliro ake ndikuzindikira njira zitatu zophatikizira makanda, kufotokoza masitayelo otetezedwa komanso osatetezeka.

Chifukwa chake, lingaliro loti anthu amalowa m'magulu ena ophatikizika linali lofunikira kwambiri pantchito ya akatswiri omwe amakulitsa lingaliro lophatikizika ndi akuluakulu.

Chitsanzo cha kalembedwe ka anthu akuluakulu

Hazan and Shaver (1987) anali oyamba kumveketsa ubale pakati pa masitaelo okonda ana ndi akulu.

Ubale wamagulu atatu a Hazan ndi Shaver

Bowlby ankanena kuti anthu amapanga maubwenzi ogwira ntchito paubwana omwe amasungidwa moyo wonse. Zitsanzo zogwirira ntchitozi zimakhudza momwe anthu amachitira komanso amakumana ndi maubwenzi awo akuluakulu.

Kutengera lingaliroli, Hazan ndi Shaver adapanga chitsanzo chomwe chidagawa maubwenzi achikulire m'magulu atatu. Komabe, chitsanzochi sichinaphatikizepo kalembedwe kameneka kamene kamapeŵa mantha.

Bartholomew ndi Horowitz's four class attachment of achikulire

Mu 1990, Bartholomew ndi Horowitz anakonza zamitundu inayi ya masitayelo a anthu akuluakulu ndipo adayambitsa lingaliro lamantha-opeŵa kulumikizidwa.

Gulu la Bartholomew ndi Horowitz latengera kuphatikizika kwa mitundu iwiri yogwira ntchito: kaya tikumva kuti ndife oyenera kukondedwa ndi kuthandizidwa komanso ngati tikuwona kuti ena akhoza kudaliridwa komanso kupezeka.

Izi zidapangitsa kuti pakhale masitayelo anayi omangika akuluakulu, masitayelo amodzi otetezedwa, ndi masitayelo atatu osatetezeka.

kalembedwe ka munthu wamkulu

Mitundu yolumikizira yomwe Bartholomew ndi Horowitz ndi:

otetezeka

Anthu omwe ali ndi kalembedwe kotetezedwa amakhulupirira kuti ndi oyenera kukondedwa komanso kuti ena ndi odalirika komanso omvera. Chifukwa chake, ngakhale kuti amamasuka kupanga maubwenzi apamtima, amakhalanso otetezeka kuti akhale okha.

Priocupide

Anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro oyambilira amakhulupirira kuti sakuyenera kukondedwa, koma nthawi zambiri amawona kuti ena amawathandiza ndi kuvomereza. Chotsatira chake, anthuwa amafuna chitsimikiziro ndi kubvomereza okha kudzera mu maubale ndi ena.

Kupewa Zaka Izi

Anthu omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zodzipatula amakhala ndi ulemu, koma sadalira ena. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, amakonda kupeputsa phindu la maubwenzi apamtima ndi kuwapewa.

kupewa mantha

Anthu omwe ali ndi chidwi chopewera mantha amaphatikiza njira yotanganidwa yoda nkhawa ndi masitayilo odziletsa. Amakhulupirira kuti sakondedwa ndipo sakhulupirira kuti ena angawathandize ndi kuwavomereza. Poganiza kuti pamapeto pake adzakanidwa ndi ena, amachoka paubwenzi.

Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, amalakalaka kukhala ndi maunansi apamtima chifukwa kuvomerezedwa ndi ena kumawapangitsa kudzimva bwino.

Zotsatira zake, khalidwe lawo likhoza kusokoneza abwenzi ndi okondana nawo. Akhoza kulimbikitsa ubwenzi poyamba, kenako n’kubwerera m’mbuyo m’maganizo kapena mwakuthupi pamene ayamba kumva kukhala pachiwopsezo muubwenziwo.

Kukula kwa mantha-kupewa ubwenzi

Ubwenzi wopeŵa mantha kaŵirikaŵiri umakhala wokhazikika paubwana pamene kholo limodzi kapena wosamalira anaonetsa khalidwe lamantha. Makhalidwe owopsawa amatha kuyambira kuzunza mopitilira muyeso mpaka zizindikiro zosawoneka bwino za nkhawa komanso kusatsimikizika, koma zotsatira zake zimakhala zofanana.

Ngakhale pamene ana apita kwa makolo awo kaamba ka chitonthozo, makolo amalephera kuwatonthoza. Chifukwa chakuti wosamalirayo samapereka maziko osungika ndipo angagwire ntchito monga magwero a kupsinjika maganizo kwa mwanayo, zisonkhezero za mwanayo zingakhale kupita kwa womusamalira kaamba ka chitonthozo, ndiyeno nkuchoka.

Anthu omwe amasunga chitsanzo ichi chogwirizira akakula adzawonetsanso zikhumbo zomwezo zosunthira kutali ndi ubale wawo ndi abwenzi, okwatirana, okondedwa, ogwira nawo ntchito, ndi ana.

Zotsatira za mantha/kupewa kulumikizidwa

Anthu omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zamantha amafuna kupanga maubwenzi olimba pakati pa anthu, koma amafunanso kudziteteza ku kukanidwa. Chotero pamene akufunafuna mabwenzi, amapeŵa kudzipereka kwenikweni kapena kusiya mwamsanga unansiwo ngati utakhala waubwenzi kwambiri.

Anthu omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zamantha amakumana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti ena angawapweteke komanso kuti ndi osakwanira pa ubale.

Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wasonyeza kugwirizana pakati pa mantha-kupewa ubwenzi ndi maganizo.

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Van Buren ndi Cooley ndi Murphy ndi Bates, ndikudziona kolakwika komanso kudzidzudzula komwe kumayenderana ndi kudzikonda mwamantha komwe kumapangitsa kuti anthu omwe ali ndi kalembedwe kameneka azitha kukhumudwa, kuda nkhawa, komanso kukhumudwa. Iwo likukhalira kuti.

Komabe, kafukufuku wina wasonyeza kuti, poyerekeza ndi masitayelo ena ophatikizika, zophatikizira zopewera mantha zimaneneratu kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri zogonana komanso kukhala ndi mwayi wololera kugonana kosafuna.

Kulimbana ndi mantha-kupewa zomata

Pali njira zothanirana ndi zovuta zomwe zimabwera ndi kalembedwe kowopsa-kupewa kumamatira. Izi ndi:

Dziwani kalembedwe kanu

Ngati mukugwirizana ndi kufotokozera kwa Mantha Opeŵa Mantha, werengani zambiri, chifukwa izi zimakupatsani chidziwitso pamalingaliro ndi malingaliro omwe angakhale akulepheretsani kupeza zomwe mukufuna kuchokera ku chikondi ndi moyo.

Kumbukirani kuti gulu lirilonse la anthu akuluakulu ndilosiyana kwambiri ndipo silingafotokoze bwino khalidwe lanu kapena malingaliro anu.

Komabe, simungasinthe machitidwe anu ngati simukuwadziwa, kotero kuphunzira kalembedwe kamene kamakugwirirani bwino ndi sitepe yoyamba.

Kukhazikitsa ndi kuyankhulana malire mu maubwenzi

Ngati mukuwopa kuti mudzadzipatula polankhula kwambiri za inu nokha muubwenzi wanu, yesani kuchita zinthu pang'onopang'ono. Muuzeni mnzanuyo kuti n’zosavuta kumuululira pang’onopang’ono m’kupita kwa nthawi.

Komanso, powauza zomwe zikukudetsani nkhawa komanso zomwe mungachite kuti mukhale bwino, mukhoza kumanga ubale wotetezeka.

dzichitireni chifundo

Anthu omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zamantha amatha kudziganizira molakwika ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala odzidzudzula.

Zimakuthandizani kuphunzira kulankhula wekha monga momwe mumayankhulira ndi anzanu. Potero, mukhoza kukhala ndi chifundo ndi kumvetsa nokha pamene mukupondereza kudzidzudzula.

kulandira chithandizo

Zingakhalenso zothandiza kukambirana nkhani zopewera mantha ndi phungu kapena wothandizira.

Komabe, kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi kalembedwe kameneka amapewa kukhala pachibwenzi, ngakhale ndi othandizira awo, zomwe zingalepheretse chithandizo.

Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kufunafuna sing'anga yemwe ali ndi chidziwitso chothandizira anthu omwe ali ndi mantha opewa komanso omwe amadziwa kuthana ndi vuto lomwe lingathe kuchiza.