Nkhani zachikondi zozungulira kupsompsonana: Kukondana ndikupsompsonana! ?

Chigololo chimayambira kuti? Zikuwoneka kuti pali kusiyana kwakukulu pamalingaliro awa. Kuchokera ku tanthawuzo lalamulo la ``chigololo,'' mchitidwe wa ``kukhala ndi ubale wakuthupi mwa kufuna kwanu ndi munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi wina osati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu,'' amaonedwa kuti ndi chigololo. Komabe, ngati munthu wokwatira apitiriza kukhala paubwenzi popanda kugonana ndi munthu wina yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake, kodi zimenezo zingalingaliridwenso kukhala “chigololo”?

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumasunga ubale womwe umangokhala kupsopsonana, kodi chimenecho chimatengedwa ngati "kusakhulupirika" kapena "kusakhulupirika"?

"Kupsopsonana" kwathunthu komwe milomo imagwirana imadziwika padziko lonse lapansi ngati chizindikiro cha chikondi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, kapena ngati chizindikiro chachikondi. M’maiko onga France, amuna ndi akazi kaŵirikaŵiri amalonjerana ndi kupsopsonana pang’ono m’moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, koma kwa anthu a ku Japan, kupsompsona si njira yapafupi yosonyezera ubwenzi.

Choncho, kupsompsona tsopano kumagwiritsidwa ntchito ngati chizindikiro cha ubwenzi. Si zachilendo kwa anthu aŵiri opsompsonana kuyamba chibwenzi, ndipo kwa anthu aŵiri okondana kupsompsonana monga chisonyezero chachikondi chochokera pansi pamtima.

Ndiye, kodi kupsompsonana kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n’kutani ngakhale kuti muli pabanja? Malinga ndi mmene anthu ozungulira amaonera, n’zosachita kufunsa kuti ichi ndi ``chikondi chochokera m'banja, koma anthu ena amaganiza kuti ``ngati chibwenzicho chimangokhalira kupsopsonana, sikuli chinyengo, ngakhale kusakhulupirika.

Zifukwa zomwe mumapsompsonabe munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu ngakhale kuti muli pabanja

N'chifukwa chiyani umapsopsona wina osati mnzanu? Makamaka ngati winayo ali pabanja, n’zosavuta kuganiza kuti ndi chinyengo. Ndizodabwitsa, sichoncho? Pano, tisanthula psychology ya anthu omwe amachita zinthu mopanda nzeru.

1. Khalani ndi chilimbikitso mwa kupsompsona munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu

Mukazolowera kupsompsona mnzanu, zimakhala zopusa kupsompsona tsiku lililonse, kotero anthu ena amafunafuna chilimbikitso kuchokera ku machitidwe awo otopetsa a tsiku ndi tsiku mwa kupsopsona anthu ena omwe si amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Ngakhale kuti n’kopepuka pang’ono, kupsompsonana ndi njira yosavuta yochotsera kunyong’onyeka, choncho ngati muli paphwando lakumwa, wokonda wanuyo amatha kupsompsona wina yemwe amamukonda chifukwa waledzera. Ngati nonse awiri mwasangalala, pali chiopsezo kuti ubwenziwo ukhoza kukhala chibwenzi.

2. Kusonyeza chikondi chosalamulirika

Pali kuthekera kuti wokonda wanu akufuna kusonyeza / chikondi chake ndi kukupsopsonani chifukwa iye / iye amakonda munthu winayo. Popeza ali wokwatiwa, ngati sakutha kuulula zakukhosi kwake kapena kupita pachibwenzi, angagwiritse ntchito mchitidwe wapamtima wa kupsompsona kusonyeza kuti ali ndi chidwi ndi iye ndi ``kumuitana kuti achite naye chibwenzi.

3. Ndikufunadi kugonana ndi wokondedwa wanga.

Anthu ena amakhala ndi chizoloŵezi chofuna munthu woti achite naye chibwenzi akasangalala, ndipo akatha kusewera limodzi, kupsompsonana ndi kufuna kuchita chibwenzi. M’maganizo amaona kuti ndi masewera chabe, choncho saona kuti n’kofunika kwambiri, koma n’zosachita kufunsa kuti kukhala paubwenzi wakuthupi ndi munthu wina amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi chigololo.

Ndipotu, chikondi ndi kugonana nthawi zambiri zimayamba ndi kupsopsonana. Ngati wokonda apsompsona munthu wina wamwamuna kapena wamkazi mwakufuna kwake, pali kuthekera kwakukulu kuti ali ndi chibwenzi kapena chikhumbo chokulitsa ubale wakunja ndi munthu winayo. Chonde samalani kuti musachite chigololo.

Zoyenera kuchita ngati wokonda pabanja apsompsona munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzake

Ngati muwona ``kupsopsona kumene kuli chizindikiro cha kusakhulupirika,' tiyeni tione ngati winayo wachitapo chibwenzi. Ndikofunikiranso kusiyanitsa pakati pa ``chigololo chenicheni chomwe chimakhudza maubale akuthupi'' ndi ``chigololo chomwe chimangokhala kupsopsonana kokha kuti tipewe chilango chalamulo.''

1. Chenjerani ndi chibwenzi chomwe chinayamba ndi kupsopsonana

Kupsompsonana ndi chizindikiro chakuti pali malingaliro osakhulupirika, ndiye ngati mukukayikira kuti mnzanuyo wachita chigololo, bwanji osayamba kufufuza nkhaniyo? Zikafika pakufufuza zachinyengo, anthu ambiri amayamba kusonkhanitsa umboni wakubera kuchokera pamafoni ndi makompyuta. Komabe, n’kutheka kuti anthu awiri amene anachitapo chibwenziwo anasangalala ndi chibwenzicho kunyumba kapena m’galimoto yawo, choncho ndi bwino kufufuza paliponse kuti musaiwale. Ngati mutapeza umboni wamphamvu wa kusakhulupirika mwa kufufuza, mukhoza kutsimikizira mwalamulo mgwirizano pakati pa awiriwa ngati "chigololo" ndikulemba chiwongoladzanja cha chipukuta misozi.

awiri. Kupsompsona kokha sikutanthauza "kusakhulupirika"

Komabe, umboni wotsimikizirika wa kubera ukufunika kuti tipeze ``kusakhulupirika.'' Machitidwe monga kupsompsona ndi kuchita ma push-ups amatengedwa ngati 'chigololo'' pamaso pa anthu, koma sakukhutiritsabe mokwanira monga umboni wa "kusakhulupirika" pansi pa lamulo. Kudyera limodzi kapena kuyankhulana sikumasonyeza kusakhulupirika. Pachifukwa ichi, ngati winayo achita chibwenzi chomwe chimangokhala kupsopsonana, nkovuta kutsimikizira kuti ndi ``chigololo.''

Kuti mutsimikize kuti ``chigololo'', mufunika chinachake chomwe chinganenedwe kuti ``anthu awiri anali ndi ubale wakuthupi mwa kufuna kwawo. Ngakhale ndizovuta kupeza zithunzi za chibwenzicho pamalo a chibwenzicho kapena umboni womwe umatsimikizira yemwe adalowa ndi kutuluka mu hotelo yachikondi, zitha kukhala zothandiza pakuyesa kusakhulupirika. Zoonadi, zithunzi kapena mavidiyo ongopsompsonana kapena kukankhirana akhoza kuperekedwanso ngati umboni wa chibwenzi, chifukwa amasonyeza ubale wapamtima pakati pa awiriwo.

3. ``Chigololo m'maganizo'' kuthawa 'chigololo''

Ngati anthu awiri omwe adachitapo chibwenzi ali ndi ubale wakuthupi, ndikosavuta kukhala wotsimikiza za chibwenzicho, komanso zotheka kuti ubalewo ugwe chifukwa chodziimba mlandu komanso kudzidetsa, zomwe zimakulirakulira. kugonana. Ngati anthu omwe ali pafupi nanu adziwa za ubale wanu wogonana, izi zidzasokoneza moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo pali chiopsezo chodziwika kuti ndi ``chigololo'' ndipo munthu amene akuchita nawo chibwenzicho ayenera kulipira. chipukuta misozi. Mtengo wa chigololo ndi woopsa kuposa momwe mungaganizire, choncho okwatirana osakhulupirika atulukira njira zosiyanasiyana zopulumutsira chilango.

Masiku ano, chiwerengero cha anthu amene amachita ``chigololo m'maganizo'' chikuwonjezeka pang'onopang'ono chifukwa safuna kuti nkhani zawo zizikambidwa pamaso pa anthu. Popeza ndi nkhani ya m'maganizo, palibe ubale wakuthupi, ndipo sichingadziwike kuti ``chigololo'' pansi pa lamulo. ' kapena ``chinali chigololo.'' Malingana ngati awiri a inu simukugonana, mukhoza kupita pazibwenzi ndi kukambirana mosavuta ndi kukhudzana. Wokonda atha kukhalabe ndi 'kupsopsonana kokha'' ndi wokondedwa wake, kupanga ubale wapamtima popanda kugonana.

Komabe, popeza kuti ‘‘kupsopsonana kokha’’ kumazikidwa pa chikondi chimene chimasinthasintha, chikhoza kusonkhezeredwa ndi maunansi achikondi ndi munthu amene mumam’konda ndi malingaliro a amene akuzungulirani. Ngati muyesa kukonza ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu kapena kumuimba mlandu chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwake, malingaliro omwe angagwirizane ndi kupsompsonana akhoza kuziziritsa ndikuzimiririka okha.

4. Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kukhala ndi chilakolako chokhala ndi chibwenzi ngakhale alibe chibwenzi.

Ngakhale mutatsimikiza kuti wokondedwa wanu alibe chibwenzi, sizisintha mfundo yakuti wokondedwa wanu amasonyeza chidwi chake kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha mwa kukupsopsonani. Sizingakhale zachilendo kukhala ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuchita zibwenzi, koma ngati simungathe kupirira ndi kuchita chikhumbocho, zingawononge anthu omwe ali pafupi nanu. Pofuna kupewa kuti banja / moyo waukwati uwonongeke, m'pofunika kuchitapo kanthu kuti muteteze wokondedwa wanu kuti asachite chinyengo komanso kuthetsa chilakolako chake chogonana kunja kwa banja.

Mukada nkhawa kwambiri, mudzawononga malingaliro ndi thupi lanu.

Pambuyo powona akupsompsona kwa wokondedwa, anthu ambiri amayamba kuda nkhawa ndi mavuto monga, ``Mwina ali ndi chibwenzi?' N’zoona kuti chibwenzi chimayamba ndi kupsopsonana, koma ngati ukudandaula kwambiri chifukwa cha kupsopsonana, n’koipa kwa thupi ndi maganizo ako. Kodi sizimakhala zovuta mukadwala ndi nkhawa komanso nkhawa ngakhale mulibe chibwenzi? Ngakhale zitakhala kuti zachitikadi, tiyenera kusamalira thanzi lathu lakuthupi ndi maganizo athu kuti tilange aŵiriwo amene anachitapo chibwenzicho. Chotsani nkhawa zanu zachinyengo ndikukulitsa ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu kuti mupewe kubera.