Zimene mungachite kuti banja lomasuka liziyenda bwino

Open Maria nthawi ina ankaonedwa kuti ndizovuta, koma tsopano amawerengera 4-9% mwa akazi onse.

Anthu okwatirana angaganize zotsegula ukwati wawo. Pakadali pano, ndikofunikira kuchitapo kanthu pang'ono kuti ubale wanu ukhale wopambana.

M’nkhani ino, tifotokoza tanthauzo la ukwati womasuka, mmene mungadziikire malire, ndiponso zimene mungachite ngati mwaganiza zotsegula ubwenzi wanu ndi mnzanuyo.

Kodi ukwati womasuka ndi chiyani?

Ukwati wotseguka ndi mtundu wa ethical non-monogamy (ENM). Mosiyana ndi mitundu ina ya ENM, monga polyamory, yomwe imafuna kukhazikitsa zibwenzi zina muubwenzi, ukwati womasuka nthawi zambiri umangoyang'ana pa kugonana kwakunja.

Ngakhale maanja angatsimikize kuti palibe vuto kukhala ndi zibwenzi komanso zokondana kuwonjezera pa kugonana, chinsinsi chaukwati womasuka (kapena ubale uliwonse womasuka) ndi chakuti: Zimatanthauza kuika patsogolo ubale wanu woyamba kuposa maubwenzi ena aliwonse.

kafukufuku

Ngati munawerenga nkhaniyi, mwachita kale zinthu zofunika kuti banja lanu lomasuka liziyenda bwino. Koma pali zinthu zinanso zimene mungachite kuti mumvetse tanthauzo la ukwati womasuka.

Nazi njira zina zodziwira za Open Maria.

Gulani mabuku okhudza nkhaniyi kuchita. Werengani mabuku okhudza nkhaniyi, monga Open:Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage lolembedwa ndi Jenny Block kapena A Happy Life in an Open Relationship:The Essential Guide to a Healthy and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life lolembedwa ndi Susan Wenzel. werengani bukulo.

zina Lankhulani ndi anthu. Ngati mukudziwa anthu angapo omwe ali omasuka, tiyeni tikambirane.

pafupifupi Pezani gulu Pezani magulu amisonkhano am'deralo kapena enieni a maanja omasuka.

tsitsani podcast Mvetserani ma podikasiti okhudza ukwati womasuka, kuphatikiza "Kutsegula: Kuseri kwaukwati wathu womasuka" ndi "Ukwati Wa Monogamish."

Onetsetsani kuti ndi zomwe nonse mukufuna

Inu ndi mnzanuyo mukamamvetsetsa bwino ndikukhala omasuka ndi lingaliro la ukwati womasuka, muyenera kukambirana wina ndi mzake kuti muwone ngati ziri zoyenera kwa inu. Sizigwira ntchito pokhapokha ngati munthu m'modzi atakwera kwathunthu.

Mukangokambirana, ngati mmodzi kapena nonse simukutsimikiza ngati kutsegula ukwati wanu ndi sitepe yoyenera, zingakhale zothandiza kwa nonse kukambirana ndi dokotala.

Mungafune kupeza wothandizila yemwe amatsimikizira chitsanzo cha ubale wopanda mkazi mmodzi.

kugawana zolinga zanu

Tsopano, mutatha kufufuza kwanu ndikutsimikiza kuti kuyamba ukwati wanu ndi chisankho choyenera kwa inu, ndi nthawi yoti mukambirane zolinga zanu.

Zinthu zonse za m'banja lomasuka zimafuna kulankhulana momasuka ndi wokondedwa wanu woyamba. Izi zikuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi chizolowezi cholankhula za ubale wanu pafupipafupi.

mvetserani ndi kutsimikizira zomwe winayo akunena

Ndi mutu watsopano, choncho uyenera kukhala wosangalatsa. Choncho, mungafune kulankhula zambiri za zolinga zanu. Komabe, ino ndi nthawi yabwino kuphunzira kumvetsera ndi kutsimikizira munthu winayo.

Munthu wina akanena chinachake, ndi bwino kuvomereza ndi mawu akuti "Ndakumva mukunena ..." ndi kufotokoza mwachidule zomwe mukuganiza kuti winayo wanena. Izi ziyenera kukhala njira ziwiri, ndipo mnzanuyo ayeneranso kumvetsera ndikutsimikizira zomwe mukunena pa zolinga zanu.

kusankha pa cholinga

Mukagawana zomwe mukufuna kuchokera ku khalidwe latsopanoli, ndikofunika kuti nonse mugwirizane. Ngati munthu wina ali ndi cholinga ndipo winayo sakugawana, zinthu sizingayende bwino.

Poyamba, mudzafuna kuchepetsa zolinga zanu mpaka zomwe mukuvomera, ngakhale zikutanthauza kuti si zokhazo zomwe mungapeze kuchokera ku dongosolo latsopanoli.

Mukasankha zolinga zanu, ndizothandizanso kutsimikizirana wina ndi mnzake mobwerezabwereza. Ngati mmodzi wa inu sakumbukira bwino, zingakhale bwino kulemba zolinga zimene mwagwirizana.

Kukhazikitsa malamulo ndi malire

Gawo lotsatirali mwina ndilofunika kwambiri kuposa zonse (kupatula kutsatira kwenikweni malamulo ndi malire omwe mudapanga palimodzi, ndithudi).

Kuti banja lomasuka liziyenda bwino, nonse awiri muyenera kugwirira ntchito limodzi posankha malamulo oonetsetsa kuti aliyense ali otetezeka m’maganizo ndi mwakuthupi.

chitetezo chakuthupi

“Chitetezero chakuthupi” apa chili ndi matanthauzo osiyanasiyana. Pano, tikuwonetsani momwe tingachitire limodzi.

• Kugonana kotetezeka. Sankhani njira zodzitetezera zomwe inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mungatsatire pogonana komanso mukatha.
• malo okhala. Kodi ndibweretse mnzanga wina mnyumbamo? Kodi mungandiuze komwe mumakhala? Zikatere, inu ndi mnzanuyo muyenera kuvomerezana chochita ndi nyumba yanu.
• malire akuthupi. Sankhani pasadakhale ntchito zapamtima zomwe mungathe kapena zomwe mungathe kuchita ndi ena chifukwa cha aliyense. Kapena mumapewa kugonana nonse awiri? Kodi inu ndi mnzanuyo mumalankhula kapena ayi musanagonane ndi munthu watsopano? Izi ziyenera kudziwikiratu.

malire amalingaliro

Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, Open Marias nthawi zambiri amayamikira kugwirizana kwakunja kwakuthupi m'malo mwachikondi kapena maganizo. Koma zili kwa inu ndi mnzanuyo kusankha chomwe chili ndi chosaloledwa mukamalumikizana ndi munthu wina.

Awa ndi mafunso omwe tikufuna kuyankha limodzi.

• Kodi mumatumiza imelo kapena kuyimbira foni anthu omwe mumakumana nawo ndikucheza nawo?
• Kodi tidzanena kuti “ndimakukondani” ku zipani zina za ndale?
• Kodi ndingathe kuuzako ena za ukwati wanga?

nthawi ndalama

Kuti zimenezi zitheke, m’pofunika kuti nonse musankhe limodzi nthawi imene mudzathera ndi ena. Anthu ena amatha kuona anthu usiku uliwonse, ena kamodzi pachaka, ndipo ena pakati.

Fotokozani kuchuluka kwa zomwe mukufuna kapena zomwe simukufuna kucheza ndi anthu omwe sali paubwenzi wanu, ndipo vomerezani nthawi yomwe ikuwoneka yoyenera kwa nonse.

kuyendera pafupipafupi

Kulankhulana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sikutha mukangoyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu wina!

Kulowa sikuyenera kumangokhalira kukambirana kunyumba. Mutha kuyang'ana kulikonse komwe mungamve ubale pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, monga malo odyera kapena paki.

Muziika patsogolo zofuna za mnzanu

Ziribe kanthu momwe mumasangalalira ndi ena, muyenera kukumbukira nthawi zonse kufunikira kwa ubale wa mbuye-wantchito.

Pakhoza kukhala zokwera ndi zotsika pamene mmodzi wa inu akusangalala ndi wina watsopano, kapena mmodzi wa inu kuswa. Komabe, palinso zochitika zomwe timayika ubale woyambirira ngati kuli kofunikira kuti titsimikizire kuti zikuyenda bwino, monga ngati wokondedwa wathu adwala.

Tsiku lobadwa la mnzanu, maholide, chakudya cha banja, nthawi yokumana ndi dokotala, ndi chilango cha ana ndi zitsanzo za nthawi yomwe muyenera kuika patsogolo mnzanuyo kuposa maubwenzi achiwiri.

Maukwati otseguka si njira yophweka yaubwenzi, koma anthu ambiri amawapeza opindulitsa kwambiri. Zida izi zidzakuyikani panjira yopambana.

Pomaliza

Ngakhale kuti ukwati womasuka ungakhale chosankha chabwino kwa okwatirana, sichiyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito kuyesa kupulumutsa ukwatiwo. Ngati mukuwona kuti banja lanu likupita kuchisudzulo, pali njira zambiri zabwinoko, kuphatikiza upangiri wa maanja. Kutsegula ukwati wanu kumangowonjezera vuto lomwe linalipo kale.