I want to talk about my problems with infidelity! Who should I talk to if I am cheated on?

Counseling about the circumstances of an affair is also a problem for many people. Investigating your spouse's cheating/infidelity and your own infidelity is a private and embarrassing matter. If you want to talk to someone about it, you should choose the person you want to talk to carefully. If you talk about your girlfriend's affair with another person without permission, the fact that you were cheated on will be revealed to everyone around you. And if a person is unable to calmly assess the situation in which you have been cheated on, they may teach you inappropriate ways to deal with the situation, which may further deteriorate your romantic relationship and family life.

When discussing infidelity matters with someone else, simply complaining about your lover is not ``consultation'' and has no meaning. It is best to make yourself feel at ease through cheating consultation, gain a clear understanding of the development of your romantic relationship with your lover, improve your cheating investigation methods, and finally resolve your issues with infidelity. Therefore, this article will explain how to choose the person you want to talk to when you want to talk about cheating.

one. Is the person you are consulting with a close friend?

When it comes to someone to talk to about cheating, many people choose a mutual close friend of the couple. The reason is that if the two people know each other in common, it will be possible to better understand the love problems that arise while the two are dating and analyze the cause of the affair from an objective standpoint. This will allow the other party to provide you with the most suitable solution to resolve your problem.

Also, you need to choose someone you can talk to who is firm and trustworthy. If you don't do this, rumors about your lover's affair will become a rumor and spread around more and more. In particular, if the person you are consulting with is from your lover's side, they will not only be on your lover's side and be tolerant of the affair, but may also tell your lover that you are aware of the affair. If so, you may find it difficult to submit evidence such as photos of cheating, and you may also be subject to abuse or violence from your lover. Therefore, it is necessary to check whether the opponent is an enemy or an ally.

When choosing a person to consult with, the gender of the person is also an important consideration. In general, if you talk about cheating with someone of the same sex, you can talk about psychological issues and sexual topics that you can't talk about with the opposite sex, and you can relieve your own pain more than you can with a conversation with the opposite sex, and you can respond to your own situation. You can also come up with an easier solution. However, through consultation with the opposite sex, there is also the advantage of being able to understand the psychology of cheating of the opposite sex that you cannot understand. Consulting about cheating may be embarrassing, but it may be able to resolve all your emotional problems from various aspects.

Ask your friend how to deal with infidelity in a euphemistic way

I want to collect as many countermeasures against cheating as possible from my friends, and I want to understand the psychology behind cheating on my lover, but I don't want to let the people around me know that I've been cheated on. At that time, try discussing the affair in a more euphemistic way.

Just like confirming a suspicion of cheating with words, when you're talking with a friend, take control of the conversation and say things like, ``There's been a lot of news about infidelity lately,'' ``It seems like XX is having an affair with XX,'' or ``This... ``I didn't think it was a person,'' ``I don't want to be cheated on,'' ``I'm worried about my lover cheating,'' ``Why does XX cheat?'', etc., to elicit cheating, how to deal with cheating from friends, psychology of cheaters, etc. You can collect your views. However, even if you are not interested in the topic of cheating, please do not force it. There is a risk that people will think that you are someone who wants to have an affair.

The person you are talking to may be cheating on you

If the cheating is discovered but the cheating partner does not have enough information, it is not uncommon for the cheating partner to be an acquaintance. If you make the mistake of discussing countermeasures with your cheating partner, everything will be over. If you do not know the identity of the cheating partner, it is better to check by referring to the characteristics of people who are likely to be chosen as cheating partners.

two. Talk to your family

How about talking to your parents or siblings? The situation will vary depending on the character of the relative, their attitude towards cheating, and their experience of extramarital affairs. If you are an experienced person, you may have a good solution for cheating/infidelity. At that time, the most important thing to be aware of is that the parents may become dissatisfied with their child being cheated on, and may lecture the lover or question the lover's parents, thereby spreading the negative effects of the affair. In that case, not only the relationship between the two people, but also the relationship between the two families will be destroyed, making it impossible to improve the romantic relationship and making it difficult to investigate the affair in the future.

three. Find someone to talk to on the internet

Why not write about your lover's cheating on a love advice bulletin board and ask everyone on the internet to take action? Especially if you vent all your frustrations about being cheated on on an anonymous bulletin board, you will feel better. You can also raise your concerns about cheating as a love consultation problem on specialized Q&A sites such as OKWAVE, Yahoo's Chiebukuro, and Goo. Since you don't know the other person, it's advantageous that you can talk to them easily, but it's impossible to get someone who doesn't know much about your current situation to offer you very persuasive solutions.

four. Detectives and lawyers are also options.

Many detective agencies and law firms offer free consultation services for cheating. The person you are consulting with is a professional in cheating problems, so they will be able to provide you with more specialized solutions than others. However, if you are consulting with a detective or lawyer, the main topics will be requests for an investigation into infidelity, separation/divorce issues related to infidelity, or requests for divorce/adult alimony. If you are someone who wants to improve your marital relationship, it is better to ask questions of people close to you.

Free municipal consultation

If you can't find a good person to talk to, you can use this as an opportunity to use your municipality's free consultation service. Municipalities generally have free consultation offices to help citizens with their daily problems. Now you can talk about not only cheating/infidelity issues, but also other concerns you may have without anyone else knowing about it. However, if you want to use the free consultation center, you need to submit the topic of consultation and make a reservation one week in advance. At the reserved time, you can easily have a 30-minute consultation with an expert who specializes in the topic.

Advantages of discussing adultery matters with others

As someone who has been cheated on, you may not be able to clearly understand why your lover is cheating. It's also possible that the people around you have already found out that you're cheating on them. Therefore, choosing the right person to talk to can be an opportunity to review your romantic relationship and check the attitudes and views of those around you towards cheating. If you discover that you have been cheated on, it is better to find a good person to talk to than to worry about it alone.