Signs of narcissism are often hard to spot in the early stages of a relationship, but over time, these signs become more visible. This article will help you identify if your partner is exhibiting any of the signs of narcissism.
What is narcissism?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) defines narcissism as "a pattern of pervasive delusions of grandeur, constant need for praise, and lack of empathy." At least five of these criteria must be met.
- great sense of self-importance
- Preoccupied with fantasies of endless success, power, brilliance, beauty, and ideal love.
- Thinking that you are special and unique, and that you should only be able to understand or associate with other special people or high-status people.
- need for excessive praise
- sense of rights
- acts of exploitation of others
- lack of empathy
- To be envious of others or to believe that others are envious of oneself.
- Displaying arrogant or arrogant behavior or attitude.
Signs you are in a narcissistic marriage or relationship
Let's take a look at some of the behaviors that someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may display. Many of the behaviors listed below may be indicative of narcissistic personality disorder, but only a mental health professional can make an accurate diagnosis.
don't feel connected
Your partner will talk to you at their convenience. But in reality, they never hear about your future plans or how we can work together to build the life you want.
They constantly brag about themselves and their achievements, rarely show interest in what is happening in your life or ask questions. Their happiness comes from external things, such as fame and money at work. I wonder if they can feel romantic feelings and emotional connections.
feel manipulated
Your partner will likely make subtle threats throughout the relationship. Even if your words aren't direct, you probably feel that if you don't do something or respond to someone's request, something bad will happen. Sometimes it's easier to do what the other person wants, even if you don't agree with it. This is a way of controlling and manipulating your partner to get what you want.
People in these relationships often forget what their lives were like before they were manipulated.
You Don’t Feel Good Enough
You have feelings of inadequacy, unworthy of what you have accomplished in your life. Your partner has a tendency to put you down or make negative comments about what you do. Are you unable to do the things you used to enjoy because you don't have the time?
Maybe you're always tired and find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I started hiding things from my family and friends and felt ashamed of my life. Lying to hide what your partner is or isn't doing.
you are always gaslighted
If someone keeps denying what you know to be true, they are gaslighting you. This is common in abusive or controlling relationships, and is a common tactic of narcissists.
For example, your spouse may make comments about events that you know about, such as, ``You just don't remember correctly.'' They will gaslight you into believing that certain things never happened, or that they did something because of something you did or said in the first place.
Your partner may lie about your actions and try to twist reality to fit their version rather than what actually happened. You may start to doubt yourself and feel like you're going crazy.
If this happens in front of your family or friends, they may start to think that you are the problem, not your partner. Even partners who seem very attractive on the surface can have a hard time realizing what's going on behind closed doors.
avoid conversation
Even if you try to stay calm and not get upset by the other person's behavior, you may find that every conversation you have with the other person turns into an argument. Narcissists are always trying to push your buttons and make you react. They derive satisfaction from controlling the emotions of others.
It's often easier to avoid the conversation entirely than to constantly engage in psychological warfare.
I feel responsible for everything
Narcissists always believe that everything is someone else's fault, even if they do something wrong. There will be no apology from a narcissist. Narcissists don't see others as equals, so it makes sense that apologizing would be out of the question.
Your narcissistic partner likely won't take responsibility for his or her actions and will always blame you. If something goes wrong, it's your fault, even if the other person is at fault.
You feel like every bad thing that happens in their life is somehow your fault and that you can't do anything about it.
you are walking on eggshells
Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells because you never know when your partner is going to explode or get cranky?
A typical example is something like this. Everything seems to be going well, but when something trivial happens, he gets angry. Even something as small as someone at work receiving credit while their partner feels overlooked can cause a narcissist to flare up. This is called narcissistic rage.
You may feel lost, making every decision to please your narcissistic partner.
you see through the charm
On the surface, your partner is attractive, confident, and skilled. However, it appears that way only because they are good at hiding their true nature in public. She says all the nice things and everyone loves her, but as soon as the two of them are alone, everything changes. As a result, they suddenly find themselves in contact with a person who is completely different from what they appear to be.
feel constantly criticized
Your partner is overly critical of your appearance. They may comment on your weight, clothing, or hairstyle choices. Make fun of you or put you down. This may happen behind you or to your face.
make fun of others. In particular, they make fun of people they think are inferior to them (such as people who are unattractive or wealthy). Generally critical of everyone.
your needs are ignored
Your partner is only thinking about their own needs and how things affect them, not you or anyone else (including your children if you have a family). They will only do what is good for them, not you or your relationship.
For example, it might be your partner.
- I want to have sex when my partner wants it, but not when I want it.
- expect to clean up afterwards
- take credit for yourself
- I get angry when others value my family more than my own.
- Giving preferential treatment to certain children over others in order to make one child look better.
Your family has warned you (or is unaware)
My family has told me that they don't like the way my partner treats me. Or your partner is lying about you so your family doesn't realize anything is wrong. In any case, when considering family relationships, partners become a point of contention.
you are cheating
Narcissists are often masters of cheating and may be cheating on you. They are very charming and know how to win people's hearts. You may doubt whether the other person is always sincere by flirting. He may have cheated on you many times, so you won't be able to stop him from doing it again.
feel unloved
When we first met, I felt like he was the most amazing person in the world. But as time passed and problems arose, your partner started cutting you off and ignoring you. This is a red flag that they are lying to themselves in the first place.
In the beginning, you may have received love bombs to keep you hooked, but once you get married, those love bombs are gone.
you get the silent treatment
Your partner is using the silent treatment as a power play to control you. They will withhold affection and ignore your presence until they feel like being nice again. It's usually only when it benefits you in some way (like getting something you want).
You might think that this kind of behavior is normal or "expected" for married people. But in reality, silence is not part of a healthy, loving, and respectful relationship.
are in financial trouble
If there's one thing narcissists are good at, it's taking advantage of their spouse financially. Your partner may be unable to continue working and you may be paying all the expenses, or your partner's job may bring in a lot of income but they don't show it to you. There isn't.
If so, your partner may be spending every last cent on himself and has no intention of sharing it with you now or in the future.
I can't rely on my partner
When they make a promise, you don't know if they will keep it. Narcissists are notorious for making promises and then breaking them when it suits them. He has no reliable partner and has to do everything himself.
They won't change even though you asked them to.
The reason a narcissist doesn't change is because it means admitting something wrong within themselves, and a narcissist will never admit that. On the other hand, some people proudly admit that they are narcissists but claim that others are the problem.
If your partner doesn't try to change their behavior, you may be dating a narcissist.
What to do if you are in a relationship with a narcissist
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can have serious and long-term effects on your mental health. If your partner is emotionally abusive and won't change his behavior, it's time to reconsider the relationship. And if you decide to retire, make sure you have a support system in place beforehand. For example, this could be a friend, family member, or therapist.
If you continue a relationship with a narcissist.
- Receive therapy or outside support
- Creating and maintaining boundaries
- Keep records of conversations and events to prevent gaslighting.
- Be calm and assertive
- At work, I resist gossip that makes me want to vent.
- Learn as much as you can about narcissists so you can recognize their tactics and manipulation.
in conclusion
Anyone can be self-centered, but narcissists can't seem to function any other way. Remember: Information is power. Learn all you can about narcissism so you can recognize what's going on. Considering that dating a narcissist can damage your self-esteem, self-care is essential. Consider therapy to protect your mental health.
