There are many reasons why love doesn't last long. The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, different priorities, and low intimacy.
In this article, we will explain why each can be the cause of ending a relationship.
loss of trust
One of the basic emotions necessary for good human relationships is a sense of security. If you don't have emotional support or feel like your partner is unreliable, you may lose trust.
If your partner is vague or difficult to identify, that's a cause for concern. Human relationships built on mistrust are unstable.
Liar
For example, let's say you find out your partner has been lying. Lies can have powerful consequences. Was it a white lie, or was it a lie told to protect the liar? White lies are often small, but real lies can have far-reaching effects.
all desires
If you're with an overly possessive partner, ask yourself, "Does this seem healthy?" Is your partner isolating you away from friends or constantly checking up on you? ”
This is not a sign of someone trusting you. Tell yourself that this is not a healthy relationship.
Jealousy
A little bit of jealousy is healthy and shows that you don't take each other for granted. But if someone is overly possessive and shows signs of pathological jealousy, these are red flags.
Adultery
If you suspect your partner is cheating, you may feel like the foundation of what you built together has been shattered. I may not be able to trust this person anymore. Are they who you think they are?
A relationship centered around a lack of trust and filled with lies, jealousy, and infidelity probably won't last.
lack of communication
If you only talk about your kids' schedules or your weekend chore list, your communication has become transactional. Healthy communication requires a variety of topics.
Even if you communicate well, it's OK to disagree. Conflict is inevitable, but there are ways to manage it with effective communication skills. Communication must be filled with empathy, understanding, and active listening. Unfortunately, many couples find it difficult to communicate this way.
It may seem counterintuitive, but couples who brag about never fighting are not a good thing. It often reflects both parties avoiding conflict. They would rather not shake things up or bring up difficult issues.
It's actually better for couples to find ways to express and discuss their frustrations than not to argue at all.
In a recent study, scientists analyzed couples' request/withdraw styles in communication. This style shows that when one partner makes demands or nags about something, the other partner avoids confrontation and backs off.
This study found that as financial hardship increases, this demand/withdrawal style also increases. Furthermore, it was also correlated with low marital satisfaction. However, the interesting result was that couples who have feelings of gratitude and gratitude overcome this communication problem.
lack of respect
Couples often disagree on a variety of issues, and financial issues are often a source of disagreement. Maybe one is a spender and the other a saver. The problem lies not in the fact that spending and saving are diametrically opposed, but in the way money is discussed.
So when you're in a conflict over money or something else, it's important to figure out how one side treats the other. Is your partner someone you respect? Do you ever get joked about? Or will your partner put you down, roll their eyes, and treat you with utter contempt? These are signs that you don't respect each other.
Renowned psychologists and experts on marriage stability and divorce probability view contempt as the biggest destroyer of relationships. Contempt is also said to be the biggest predictor of divorce.
If your partner makes fun of you, is mean to you, or is hostile to you, it's a sign of disgust. This lack of goodwill and respect can cause irreparable rifts in relationships.
Difference in priorities
If you discover that your current or long-term partner has very different romantic aspirations and life goals than you, your relationship may begin to unravel.
different relationship goals
You may have different priorities when it comes to relationships. For example, after a month of dating, a recently widowed person might want to book a fun getaway with you and stay off the hook. But you may be ready to introduce your love to your family during the upcoming holidays and start on a more serious path.
different life goals
Maybe the two of you have different long-term goals for the future. If you don't make time to talk, you might be upset to learn that your partner's dreams and goals are different from yours.
For example, you may want to pursue an ambitious career in the city for the next five years. Your partner, on the other hand, wants to settle down and start a family in the suburbs next year.
If you compromise or are unable to enjoy pursuing one path, your relationship will suffer.
Having different goals doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. For example, your goals can influence the goals of others.
A recent study published in The Journals of Gerontology investigated the interdependence of marital goals. A study of 450 couples found that long-term partners influence each other when it comes to their goals. This may be a mechanism to make the relationship more stable.
However, don't rely on influencing the other person as a solution. If one of you wants kids and the other absolutely doesn't, or if one of you wants to live as a digital nomad and the other one wants to have kids and the other one wants to have kids until they're old and their hair turns gray. If you want to be in the neighborhood, this may not be for you. There may be something more suitable for you.
Not enough sex and intimacy
Oxytocin is sometimes called the "love hormone" or "cuddle agent." When we hug, touch, kiss, or otherwise show affection to others, our bodies release the hormone oxytocin. Increased oxytocin is also associated with lower stress levels and feelings of well-being.
Relationships often deteriorate when couples have less touch and this lack of touch is exacerbated by less intimate styles of communication.
Relationships can sometimes become strained if your partner is uninterested in sex. Inconsistency in sexual desires, along with other factors, can undermine relationships and ultimately contribute to breakups.
Sex is very important for relationships. According to a recent study, the average adult has sex once a week. There are many benefits to having more sex. This includes emotional, psychological, and physical benefits.
What makes a relationship last?
An associate professor analyzed over 1,100 studies on love. In doing so, we identified positive strategies that will contribute to sustaining the partnership.
He discovered the one thing that keeps couples from breaking up and is the hallmark of great relationships: partners who value their partners in the first place. In these relationships, partners deal with conflict effectively and take care of things to their partner's advantage. In unsatisfactory relationships, the opposite is true.
in conclusion
There are many reasons why relationships don't last long. But the main causes of its breakdown are issues of trust, communication, respect, priorities, and intimacy. Of course, no relationship is perfect, but if you feel like you're experiencing more pain than good, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship. If you and your partner want to make your relationship work, consider contacting a couples therapist for additional support.
