If you have lost a loved one, you are probably already aware that the loss of a loved one, unexpected or anticipated, can bring with it many emotions and thoughts.
Even in the midst of grieving, remember that your feelings are valid and that you are not on someone else's timeline when it comes to healing.
This article addresses how people cope with the short- and long-term aftereffects of loss. It also touches on how to deal with negative memories and feelings of guilt.
How to Cope Immediately After a Loss
In modern culture, there is often pressure to quickly move on and recover after suffering a loss. That's why he's adamant that getting over someone shouldn't be your only goal.
Don't forget to be considerate of yourself
Grief takes time to heal, so pace yourself and exercise patience and kindness.
experiencing a variety of emotions
Rather than clarifying the stages of grief and trying to rush through them, clinging to preconceptions of what the stages look like can be harmful, especially for those who feel that it is not their experience. Research has revealed one thing.
This is a fairly common experience for people dealing with loss: receiving an outpouring of love and support in the immediate aftermath of a loss, followed by feelings of isolation as everyone tries to get back together.
Remember that healing takes time
It's easy to feel like you have to move on, but it's okay to take time to grieve. It takes time to process all the emotions that come with a loss, so I'm willing to take as much time as I need.
He points out that when clients express a desire to "move past their feelings of sadness," they are often reminded that "it's only been a short period of time." "The passage of time is important when dealing with grief and loss," he said.
How to deal with it after a while
We also discussed how he helps clients heal long after the loss.
Embrace Memories
It is generally recommended to accept memories and dreams that keep coming up, even if time has passed.
“People who constantly think about that person or replay memories and scenarios related to their loved ones over and over again often have a part of them trying to keep those memories alive.”
This means that the mind is trying to keep the person's memory alive. This may feel like you can't get over something, but it could be your heart trying to hold on to a memory that brought you joy.
If your mind is constantly replaying something, it may mean that it is a memory that is important for you to heal.
Don't bury your feelings
Focusing on how you are feeling in the present moment is encouraged and often leads to healing. When this works, you often feel more validated that you've truly accepted what you're feeling.
finding meaning from loss
Research shows that many people arrive at a place of healing after feeling like they have derived meaning and context from their loss. This is especially the case when different emotions can exist at the same time, that is, when one can accept sadness and still hold on to meaning in the relationship. By doing so, people can become more in control of their emotions.
Remember that negative memories are normal too.
When you lose a loved one, it can be especially difficult if you feel like you were unable to make peace with them due to personal issues. It's also common to keep re-enacting all the things you could have done to provide more mental, emotional, and physical support.
Although these things are common sense, it is no wonder that healing becomes difficult.
Negative memories and feelings of guilt are also a normal part of the grieving process.
Is it possible to recover from the sadness of losing a loved one?
Finding meaning after loss is often talked about, but it can be difficult to know exactly what that means.
To find out, researchers followed people who had lost a loved one and checked in with them immediately, one year, 13 months, and 18 months after the loss.
In this study, meaning was defined as "the ability to find meaning in the event itself and to find benefit in the experience." During the first year, it was important to understand the loss and it ended up being less stressful. However, benefit finding was more important in determining a person's long-term ability to adapt.
This supports the idea that the ability to derive meaning while feeling sadness and other emotions is important to arriving at a place of healing.
The exact type of move you want to make will vary from person to person. It means not having to think about your loved one every minute of every day, or finding comfort in memories of your loved one.
The type of damage is important
A person's ability to heal also depends on whether the loss was expected or sudden. Studies have shown that sudden losses can cause PTSD in close relatives, so you may want to consider group therapy. Families faced with a long-term illness tend to face a greater sense of helplessness, which is primarily tied to their desire to help care for their loved one while they were alive.
in conclusion
No matter the situation, it's important to prioritize your mental health. Healing is never easy and can often feel uncomfortable. Avoid comparing your healing journey to someone else or how they are coping.
So that you can heal yourself at the pace you need. And don't feel guilty about seeking help from a mental health professional, a friend, or a loved one.
